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Post by alexei leon fournier on Nov 12, 2011 14:50:44 GMT -5
He was right about Cass saving her, everything that he could have done wasn’t even right, because Cass was the hero of it all. He was the one who called the ambulance, who made sure Alex was driving fast, who made sure that they got to the hospital in time, who made sure that there was pressure on Anouk’s wrist so that there would be less blood loss, he made sure of everything and it made Alex wonder as to why he couldn’t be like Cass. Why couldn’t he be as fast forward and straight as he came off across? If Alex hadn’t fallen in love with Anouk himself, Cass would have still been in her life, even if Anouk did do those things like alcohol and drugs, he would be a better influence n some twisted way because Alex was sure that the boy would never have hurt Anouk like the way he had done. He didn’t know whether to smile or be surprised by what she had said, it actually seemed to make him think that he could hear angels singing in his ears when she had said that; it was perfect, made him feel happier than ever that he could make her feel this way, that he could force her to come out of that slump that she pushed herself into without him in her life. Finally, allowing a small smile to escape from his lips he nodded his head at hair. “That makes me feel better, to know that I was the one who could get you out of your slump, that I was the one who gave you the strength...but doesn’t it feel as if I’m taking your strength away from you now?” Looking at her with questioning eyes, he let out another sigh because if she didn’t feel as if he were doing that, then there must be something wrong with her; she seemed to hold him higher than everything else in her life and that wasn’t right.
He felt as if he were controlling everything in her life and that wasn’t what a boyfriend was meant to do, a boyfriend was meant to make his girlfriend more confident, happier and definitely seem as if she could do anything that she wanted whenever she was with him. He was meant to make her feel as if she could fly over the clouds because he loved her so much but instead he was making her cry about the amount of love she held for him and that made him a horrible boyfriend. What kind of an idiot would behave like that when in a relationship apart from Alexei? Letting out a little scoff and a chuckle, he nodded his head. There was no strength left inside of him to argue with her anymore, all he wanted to do was go home with her and spend the rest of the night with her, hugging her, kissing her and making her feel wanted and not unwanted. It would be the best for her. “I’ll get over it, I will...but you’re right, relationships will never be perfect, I just hope that ours can be near to.” Smiling at her gently, he nodded his head and let out another sigh; the pain in his chest was slightly reducing now.
Just slightly though, the pain was still there, blocked in his arteries, not allowing blood to properly flow through because it wanted to remind him what kind of asshole he was, it wanted to remind him of the ongoing pain that Anouk would always feel because she was giving up so much for him and he didn’t mind. The pain was suffocating though, and he wondered as to how Anouk could deal with this for every day of her life that she was with him; he was the cause of it all but he knew if he even said it out loud he would probably receive something worse than a slap. Nodding his head as she told him that she couldn’t promise him that, he sighed, because he knew she wouldn’t be able to do that; after all the entire relationship always seemed to be about him. “Fine, I promise the same, that I won’t ever let you feel unloved because you have to remember that you’re my world, we’re in this forever now.” Kissing her cheek, he left his mouth against hers for a second and released, embracing her once more. “We should get going, it’s getting cold.”
tagged// anouk
word count// 749
thoughts// YAYYYY!
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