feeling safe and sound /anouk&cass*

[alexei leon fournier]

The ride to the hospital had been long; who knew Paris could have so much traffic? Whenever Alex passed roads, there were hardly much cars around, but when he needed the roads to be cleared, they seemed to clog up instantly. Life was really annoying like that, when you wanted something bad, needed it as if your life depended on it, it wasn’t going to be there anymore. Well at least for Alex that was how things in his life went. It didn’t help that ass was sitting in the backseat with Anouk in his arms and shouting orders at him, he was doing the best that he could; he was trying to sort everything out. It was as if Cass wanted to be some sort of hero, but just by helping her get to the hospital in time didn’t do anything. Cass could have been the hero if he had been there for her. Alex was still going to blame Cass for most of this happening, but he knew he couldn’t place the entire blame on him; after all Alexei was a git when it came down to the entire situation too.

Once the both of them had entered, blood all over them and the doctor’s and nurses had eyed the situation, with Anouk being the main priority, things got into full motion by then. He had run after doctors and nurses as they ordered a stretcher to be arranged to take Anouk into one of the rooms, he was spaced out for a while when the reality of everything hit him. He had forgotten all about Cass being there and just followed the orders of the nurses and doctors, he didn’t want to be in the way of them because as of right now they were the only people who could help Anouk and save her. He had no idea what to do, he wanted to be able to help himself but all his training, everything he learned when he was younger was out of his head and he felt as if he was in a panic mode.

As soon as she was taken behind doors that he couldn’t go through, he sort of finally collapsed. A sigh left his mouth, huge breaths racking through his body as he tried to calm himself down. Picking up his phone, he left a voice mail for his dad, hoping that he’d get it soon, his voice was monotonous, he wasn’t in the mood to show any emotion at all; especially not after something like this happening. Picking up his head, he eyed Cass and his eyes narrowed. “You can go now, thank you for the help.”

tagged// anouk/cass!
word count// 446!
muse// breathe carolina - gone so long!
thoughts// ergh crappy start; sorry guys!

[ciaran cassidy corbett]

don't think too hard if you think it hurts that bad

[/i][/size]
DON'T TALK ABOUT IT DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN[/font]

Cass never liked hospitals. It wasn’t the scent, or the fact that sick people were all over the place. What he actually didn’t like was the conglomeration of doctors. He didn’t trust them, with their ‘all knowing’ attitudes and their tendency to ignore the pain of others. Not once Cass had met a doctor that wasn’t high on his stool, ignoring the measly mortals and expecting people to praise him for saving lives when it was actually their work to do so. It was complicated, but Cass just didn’t like them.

As soon as they entered the hospital all eyes were focused on the three of them. For once Cass ignored the attention and practically barked at the nearest nurse to move her ass and thankfully she did so. A flood of doctors and nurses surrounded them and Cass was asked to place Anouk’s body on a stretcher so she could be taken away. Once he did so Cass noticed how cold and horribly empty his arms felt all of a sudden. Having Anouk on his arms had felt alright, because she was there, and Cass could make sure she was still alive. She was cold, that was for sure, but there was no way to compare the coldness of a corpse with the coldness of someone losing blood. Now though, Cass couldn’t tell if Anouk was still alive and breathing. His blue eyes followed her until the double doors closed behind them, leaving him and Alex alone to wait for whatever it was they had to wait.

His clothes were still damped with slowly drying blood which didn’t help with the chilling air from the waiting room they were shoved into. He ignored Alex as he phoned whoever it was he phoned and continued staring at the doors as if hoping it would take them merely 5 minutes to fix up Anouk and they would just ship her back with a couple bandages on her wrists, ready to go home. He hadn’t let go any sigh like Alex had, mainly because his mind was busy running up and down, blaming himself and blaming Alex for all of this. He also partly blamed Anouk and her parents, and everything in general but in the end he just couldn’t reach any conclusion. Well, not until he heard Alex’s annoying pitch drilling through his mental wall and reaching the deepest reaches of his brain.
“You can leave?” He repeated Alex’s words as if he hadn’t heard them correctly when in fact he did.
“You can go mate, but to fucking hell.” He said with a low and threatening tone that didn’t serve as any type of warning for Cass’ following actions. Ignoring just how many problems this would cause them he went for the basic animalistic instincts and just launched himself towards Alex with the sole intention of tackling him and bringing him to the ground where he would proceed to punch his face once or twice. Like the good man he was, punching and kicking was the only way to let out his frustration and who was better to be on the receiving end than Alex. So much for keeping his cool…

[/center]
words 531
tagged alex ☻
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
notes after this i think alex will never display cass' work on his gallery xD [/size]

[alexei leon fournier]

The blood seeping through his shirt was a constant reminder of how much of a failure he was, it was reminding him that he had the power to stop everything, that he could have stopped Anouk from doing everything that she had just done. He had failed to keep her safe, had failed to act like an older brother and make her see the light, he had failed in everything and it all made him feel horrible. In a fit of anger he had blamed Cass, he wanted the younger boy to feel how he was feeling and it seemed like he had done the right thing, because in a way it was everyone’s fault, the only thing was that Alexei played a major part in the upcoming to Anouk’s cutting event, it was he who had forced her over the edge. If he could just turn back the time and tried to not act like a prick then maybe this could have been averted, but no, it had been done and he had to live with the consequences and the guilt. He didn’t want to look at her body as she was taken away, it was scary how quickly she had gotten pale, how quickly her breathing seemed to have slowed down. Was it just him or was his mind playing with him? Was he forcing himself to hear Anouk breathing? Was she already gone? He felt like he was hallucinating, that was why he didn’t like hospitals, it made him feel horrible.

Raising an eyebrow as Cass repeated his words, yes, Alex wanted him to go. The boy was not a good influence on Anouk and he didn’t want him to be there when she finally woke up, if she finally woke up. But eh didn’t want to think about the ‘if’ it was just going to twist his heart around by thinking like that. His eyes narrowed as Cass spoke in a threatening tone, no one could mistake that. “What the fuck?” Alexei didn’t even need to say it out loud, he didn’t want to get into a fight with a silly little boy but as soon as Cass launched himself at Alex, the breath was knocked out of him by the sudden surprise. He gripped onto the boy hard, not knowing where but just gripping on, trying to pull him off of him. People hadn’t noticed yet what was happening, but as Alex let out an ‘oof’ from his mouth from the punches that Cass was throwing at him, gasps erupted around the place. He was punched at least a few times before his own anger made an appearance, he picked his leg up, trying to get Cass off of him and moved his hand, punching Cass anywhere and everywhere possible. He wasn’t going to let a stupid kid just beat him up like that, he tried to move as hard as he could, hoping to get the boy off of him, he had managed it for about half a second and lifted his knee, hoping to make contact with the boy’s groin, but there was too much happening all at one go so he had no idea what he hit.

tagged// anouk/cass!
word count// 535!
muse// breathe carolina - wooly!
thoughts// haha, never going to happen! c:

[ciaran cassidy corbett]

don't think too hard if you think it hurts that bad

[/i][/size]
DON'T TALK ABOUT IT DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN[/font]

Oh it was so awesome to be a guy. He didn’t have to bother with feelings, emotions, shit that would make his life harder. Everything was solved with good ol’ brawling and if anything, this was proving it. It didn’t feel good to be punching someone, what felt good was concentrating on kicking someone’s ass and not on the fact that Anouk was meters away, bleeding out. Adrenaline was the best drug ever, no one would ever convince Cass otherwise.

And indeed, it was working. As Cass threw punches at Alex he felt the numbing feeling of pain in his knuckles, partly from hitting Alex and partly from hitting the floor beneath him whenever Alex moved. Everything around him was being blissfully ignored. He didn’t hear the gasps of people and the few cries of ‘someone pull them apart!’ mainly because they were in French and Cass abhorred the language. He also didn’t hear when people called security and not even when a bossy nurse tried to intimidate them by threatening to call the police. Cass just continued struggling against the body beneath him. Of course Alex wouldn’t just lay there and let Cass punch the soul out of his body, he fought back and Cass felt he cheekbone stinging as soon as Alex’s fist hit it. It was harder to move now with Alex’s leg on the way. He still managed to throw a couple more punches before adjusting his position which gave Alex the chance to stick his knee in Cass’s stomach. A little lower and he would be squirming in agony and rolling all over the floor but instead he felt the air being thoroughly kicked out of his lungs and surely enough, the attack made Cass pull back and sit on the hospital floor. “Dick move mate, dick move.” He said between gasps as soon as his lungs thought it pertinent to admit air back. Cass was about to repeat the ‘launch and attack’ maneuver when two pairs of strong hands held his shoulders and pulled him back to the ground, the impact on his back making him lose his breath yet again. “What the fuuuuck.” He managed to say with a muted breathless voice as his blue eyes posed on the security guards who were pulling him off Alex.

Other two bulky guys went to have their way with Alex, while the two which remained with Cass started speaking in fast French. “No comprendo.” Cass said in an annoyed fashion, rubbing his sore chest with one hand and spitting some blood, probably from another one of Alex’s punches. Despite the fact that he wasn’t attacking anymore, Cass was still being held back. The daggers he was shooting at Alex were a clear indication that he would jump at him again given the chance. “Come oooon! He started it by being a fail of a brother and a bloody asshole!!” He practically barked at Alex, wishing he would just drop dead and disappear from the face of the Earth. The adrenaline was still there, but now that he wasn’t concentrated on smashing Alex’s face on the floor his mind wandered back to Anouk and just what the hell they were doing to her behind those double doors. His eyes couldn’t help but travel between Alex and the hallway where they took Anouk, hoping to see if one of the doctors reared their ugly heads with some knew on Anouk’s condition. They’d be lucky if they weren’t kicked out of the hospital, and even luckier if they weren’t thrown to jail for at least a few hours. Still, Cass didn’t regret hitting Alex and he would do it again if they somehow managed to go back in time. He fucking deserved it… and well Cass deserved the bloody lip and the cut in the cheekbone that would probably swell up to his eye.

[/center]
words 646
tagged alex~
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
notes -slinks in reply- [/size]

[alexei leon fournier]

Did he deserve this? To be honest; maybe he did. Maybe he did deserve to be beaten by a pulp and for a split second, as he was being pummeled into the ground, he actually thought that he deserved it, but then he realized that it wasn’t only his fault. That he wasn’t the only one who deserved this, Cass did too, and he wasn’t going to let the nineteen year old do whatever he wanted to do just because he was furious with rage. Alex had a lot of anger in him too but he was being compelled to keep it inside because of the environment he was in, otherwise he would have wanted to hurt Cass just the way he was. But a thought arrived in his head as the second blow fell against his face, why couldn’t he behave like Cass was? Why did he always have to be the uptight one that acted mature? No, he wasn’t going to do this now because as much as he deserved the beatings, Cass did too.

That’s why he didn’t care. He didn’t care right at that moment that he could go to prison for disrupting silence in the hospital, he didn’t care that he was being threatening within the environment of physically, emotionally and mentally ill people; he didn’t care at that time. Now Alex may be a patient guy, but there was so much that one person could take and he was trying to let out all anger on the boy. “Yeah? Well it didn’t work as much as I expected.” He was breathless, everything was knocked out of him by every punch that Cass was trying to throw at him, and he knew that even though the boy was hurt by his move, he wouldn’t give up and Alex wasn’t ready to give up either, he hadn’t let go of all the anger and adrenaline in his body. Adrenaline was always the best drug in the body; it was better than everything else. Before he could move his hand once more, before he could raise his knees in another counter attack, the weight of Cass’s body was removed off of him and he took a deep breath, it was so much easier to breath now, but he looked around frantically as two pairs of strong hands pulled him back. He bit his lip to stop himself from saying anything, but obviously Cass didn’t share the same thoughts as him.

Gritting his teeth, his eyes zeroed in on Cass, he wanted to kill him, rip his throat and then feed it to vultures; murderous thoughts were going through his head and almost came out when Cass spoke finally. “Shut the fuck up, I’m flipping sick of you trying to pin the blame on me, you were a fucking fail of a friend who could have done so much more but you don’t give a thought about anyone but yourself you bloody conceited asshole!” Alexei continued to swear in French, finding it so much easier to swear in his mother tongue instead of a foreign language; this was so much better, the words rolled off of his tongue easily and he pinned blame after blame on Cass, letting all his anger out until finally he couldn’t take it anymore. One eye stayed closed, he could feel a swell forming underneath it, but he didn’t care. He slumped against the guard’s legs, his teeth still gritted and his eyes still locked on Cass. He still wanted to say something but the doctor in charge of Anouk came at that very moment. When the guards were pretty sure that he wasn’t even bothered about Cass anymore they let him go, and Alex spoke to the doctor in French, finding it amusing that Cass wouldn’t be able to understand anything; he was glad about that. The only English word that Cass would probably be able to understand was ‘Anouk;’ call Alex mean but he didn’t care.

tagged// anouk/cass!
word count// 665!
muse// breathe carolina - wooly!
thoughts// FIIIIGHT!

[ciaran cassidy corbett]

don't think too hard if you think it hurts that bad

[/i][/size]
DON'T TALK ABOUT IT DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN[/font]

Cass wasn’t as mature as Alex, hell he was probably as mature as a five year old on crack. Being the super intelligent kid he was (not), he was trying to free himself from the security guards by means of nibbling on their arms. He flailed and struggled like a fish outside water and at the same time continued spitting angry retorts at Alex. “At least I admit I failed as a friend, you fucking fail of a brother.” The last thing came partly muffled thanks to the security guard’s arm which was trying to hold him back. Cass continued fighting until the double doors opened and as if a switch had been turned off he fell limp on the arms of the bulky guards. Sensing the danger was off he was released in a rather unceremonious way and forced to regain his balance by means of holding onto a nearby chair. He didn’t even have time to spare on dirty glances for the guards as the doctor was already talking to Alex… in French.

Fucking language… Cass should’ve taken his French classes a lot more seriously. Most of the classes were given in French seeing this was Paris and all, but most of the times Cass knew what the hell was going on because it was art. He breathed art and he didn’t need someone to explain him how to do something he was born to do. It wasn’t handy to be an English speaker when you wanted to order in a fast food restaurant, or when you wanted news about your friend who just attempted suicide. The guards were still waiting to see if any of the two attempted something funny and lingered close even if Cass kept a safe distance from Alex and the doctor. Patience had never been his biggest trait though, so he quickly felt frustrated at understanding little to nothing from the conversation they were both having. “Oi! What did he say?” His voice was demanding and still angry and Cass knew that attitude would get him nothing. He wasn’t about to act like a tame little puppy in front of a dicktard. “So? What did he say?” He seriously was two inches away from throwing a tantrum and just launching himself at Alex again if he didn’t answer with at least something decent. That probably would earn him a one way ticket straight to the street though, but rational thinking wasn’t on Cass’ list of qualities either. He was just so worried, and at least the guards could tell which was the very reason why they weren’t kicking both Cass and Alex out of the hospital.

Ok enough waiting. Cass grumbled and pretty much grabbed Alex’s shoulder to get his attention. “I said: What did he say? Should I add ‘deaf’ to your list of idiotic flaws?” The cut in his lip was giving him a nasty metal taste and the bruise on his cheekbone was beginning to swell. There was now an added headache to the mix so least to say, Cass was probably in the worst mood he’d ever been since he came to Paris. He didn’t even blame Anouk for it, why blame his soulmate when there was a stupid French boy in front of him to blame? Flawless logic! Cass had it.

[/center]
words 552
tagged alex ☻
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
notes nibbling on guards! so smartz :3 [/size]

[alexei leon fournier]

What was the point of Cass trying to disengage himself form the guards by nibbling on them? The fact that he was trying to do that made Alexei want to laugh out loud but made him also want to roll his eyes at the young boy because he was acting like such a child. What was the point in doing something like this at the hospital? He was an idiot, if he wanted a fight he could have taken Alex outside, but he hadn’t, instead they had done it in the hospital and were now being held back by two burly guards each. He didn’t bother to reply to Cass’s taunts, he didn’t want another fight, he didn’t want to be kicked out of the hospital; he needed to be there, he needed to be by Anouk’s side and he sure as hell wouldn’t let Cass take that away from him. The only thing, or in this case person, that managed to stop Alexei from literally splitting his tongue into two by biting so hard down on it was Anouk’s doctor and he was up and ready to sort everything out.

Alexei’s face was somber at first, bracing himself for the bad news that the doctor might just suddenly let out of his mouth; he didn’t want the bad news. It would have ripped him apart and he didn’t think he was ready for that, he wasn’t ready for Anouk leaving him; not yet at least because he still hadn’t told her how he really felt. He flinched slightly at the sudden outburst from Cass but he continued to talk to the doctor; everything wasn’t as serious as they thought, but he didn’t want to give anything away. He didn’t want Cass to know anything because the boy was a dick and he deserved to be left out in the cold; it would have been fun just to see him squirm under Alexei’s gaze, but Alexei wasn’t going to be that cruel to the young boy…maybe. The doctor and Alexei shook hands and Alex let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair he didn’t bother to flinch at Cass’s questions because they weren’t worth it. As much as it was fun to see Cass want to know so much and was relying on Alexei to give him the information, it really wasn’t worth it because he was sure Anouk would be annoyed if she heard about it. Closing his eyes for a second, he calmed himself down, nothing would go good if Alexei wasn’t calm because right then he was the bearer of all information, good and bad.

His attention was suddenly diverted to Cass as the boy pretty much grabbed his shoulder to get his attention, giving the boy an angry glare he moved his shoulder from Cass’s grip and sighed. “Bad news: she lost a lot of blood, good news: she’ll survive.” He wasn’t going to tell him anymore, that the stitches that were on her wrist would stay for quite a while because the cuts were so deep, that she might have to go to therapy because of her depression and the way it diverted towards; no Cass didn’t need to know anything about that.

tagged// anouk/cass!
word count// 540!
muse// silence!
thoughts// gotta love cass! alex is being nice ^^

[ciaran cassidy corbett]

don't think too hard if you think it hurts that bad

[/i][/size]
DON'T TALK ABOUT IT DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN[/font]

Sometimes Cass wondered how he got in such a mess. This type of stuff didn’t happen in London! Everything was calm and quiet there, and he didn’t feel like such a guilty prat whenever someone came to his school and said someone or the other were at the hospital because they tried to swallow pills or because they jumped in front of a bus. Sure, stuff happened to people but this had to be the first time something happened to someone Cass was close to. His life had been so normal so far, so uneventful. Sure, coming to Paris counted as a big event but he didn’t think much of it until well… he was standing in a hospital waiting room trying to find out what happened to the first person he came to care about while being outside his country. Seriously, having feelings for someone was such a drag. Long time ago he came to terms with the fact that he didn’t love Anouk, just like she didn’t love him. It worked though, it was a great tandem what they had. No regrets, no strong feelings, just two people needing the other while they found their way. Well, he hadn’t found his way yet but he certainly wasn’t as lost as Anouk seemed to be. The ‘I love you alex’ that Anouk spit at him not long ago wasn’t even too painful, what really hurt was that Anouk didn’t trust him enough to tell him what was so wrong with her. Well, at least he could relate to Alex in that one, as she hadn’t said anything to him either and so they now stood there, like complete idiots.

At least idiot numero uno decided to be less of an asshole and fill him in. The fact that Anouk had lost too much blood seemed unimportant now that Alex said she would be alright. She would be alright; that was all he needed to hear for his inner peace to come back. It was still a little tilted, a little tattered and a little roughened from Cass dragging it around but it was at peace now. A very audible and relieved sigh left Cass’s chest, as if he finally was allowed to release a breath he didn’t remember holding. She would be alright it was like fucking Christmas now. Sure, there would be scars, there would be consequences but now that he knew she’d live, they could handle that later, together. Ok, maybe not together as in together because it obviously wouldn’t work that way anymore, but he still planned to be there for Anouk, whether Alex liked it or not.

Speaking of Alex, there was that nasty creepy crawler attacking Cass’ brain called conscience. Cass knew he had behaved like a brat, like a very pretentious, annoying, idiotic brat but he couldn’t help it, it was who he was. There was still a very deep layer of good boy in Cass though, and every now and then that annoying layer wanted out. It was one of those moments. He looked at Alex and then at the floor. Man, why did this have to be so hard. “Hey umh… now that we know she’ll be ok and I won’t have to rip your throat open…” not the best way to start but anyway… “…I want to say I’m sorry, for like… everything.” It certainly was strange for Cass, to apologize and to look at someone in the eye while doing so. He obviously wasn’t very articulate with words so he merely moved his finger in circles to try to show what ‘everything’ meant. It was weird, it was awkward and Cass couldn’t take it much longer so he looked back at where the doctor left and tried to avoid Alex’s eyes, whether they were judging, hating, pitying, or whatever, he didn’t want to see it. “I still hate you.” He finished, because THAT, was a Cass thing to do.

[/center]
words lost count D<
tagged alex ☻
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
notes cass beh sorreh 83 sort of [/size]

[alexei leon fournier]

He had come to realize that his life would not ever be a smooth sail that he would have to work hard and do unnecessary things in life just to make sure that events went his way. There were some lucky people in the world who didn’t even have to lift a finger just to get what they wanted, it would naturally come to them and then there were the unlucky people. The people who had to work twenty-four seven to try and earn a little bit, to try and get what they wanted. Alexei worked hard, night and day, to get where he wanted to be. Sure his gallery wasn’t a famous one but it got him some place, he earned money and he had a good time with the work that he did. It was easy for him to get what he wanted because he worked for it. But when he looked at Cass he hoped that the boy would get nowhere in life and wouldn’t be able to charm his way into a job because the boy deserved it. It was horrible of Alex thinking like that, but what the both of them had gone through in the past hour or so had given them new perspectives of one another’s lives and Alex realized that Cass was a good for nothing idiot; not that he’d ever tell the boy that otherwise another fight would probably ensue. All he cared about now was the fact that Anouk still loved him, even though he was the one who had probably caused her to g down this route.

It would all be fine now wouldn’t it? Unless things just suddenly took a turn for the worse and she began to lose even more blood, or if her cuts became infected and started to decompose her body. Weird thoughts ran through his head, about her not surviving, about everything going down the drain after all this time and he had to push them to the back of his mind because being negative in this time and place was not going to do anything good, was it? He looked around the hallway, where were their parents? Why was it taking them so long to come to the hospital even though Alex had phoned them about half an hour or so ago? Oh right…they had gone to the opposite side of town so it would take them more than an hour to get here. He bit his lip consciously, this meant he would have to stay here and he was sure that Cass wouldn’t leave either.

Folding his arms across his chest he leaned back into the wall and his head bent downwards into his chest. Letting out a huge sigh, he hissed as quietly as he could when cold air hit the bruise on his cheek, his cut lip and bloody eye weren’t helping at all in this situation. But Alex wasn’t going to think about it because this afternoon everything was about Anouk; he had to make sure that she was good. Raising an eyebrow as Cass began to speak, Alexei moved up the wall and picked his head up to look at the boy with a disbelief look on his face. But when the word ‘sorry’ left Cass’s mouth, Alexei felt like laughing. The boy was actually apologizing? Was he receiving dramatic head injury because of the punches that Alex threw at him? Nodding his head grimly, he bit his lip, hoping to stop himself from saying anything further in case of ruining everything. An apology was a good step. “Alright, I’m sorry too.” Eying the boy and the few bruises he had managed to make on his delicate skin, he let out a scoff. “Wouldn’t expect anything less boy.” Rolling his eye he sighed that was a very Cass thing to do and say. “I’m off to get a coffee.” Pushing himself of the wall with a little difficulty, he stretched his arms and eyed the young boy. “Do you want anything?”

tagged// anouk/cass!
word count// 673!
muse// silence!
thoughts// haha i loved the apology ^^

[anouk lirienne fournier]

It was dark all around her, but it wasn’t the same pitch black of before, there was a hint to it her hazy thick mind couldn’t quite place. It was when Anouk realized she was thinking, was she alive or dead? She couldn’t feel her body but her mind seemed to work… even if slower and not properly like before. Slowly everything started to make sense, the events of the day dripping in her mind, her mind starting to register her body and when she finally found her way to it the first thing Anouk’s mind noticed was the pain and sore of her muscles, it even hurt to open her eyes, not to mention she wasn’t ready yet to handle all that happened. Pain was coming from her wrist and her whole arms, making her remember what she did, but the most important pain of them all was the one on her chest that wouldn’t let her breathe, the one that she had tried to get rid of because it was unbearable… she sighed so softly it was imperceptible, she was alive and she would have to deal with her pain and face Alexei… unless she ran to his father and left all of this behind. Her mind started to swirl, possible ways of escape so she wouldn’t have to do all that, so she could do what he wanted her to do, to vanish from her life.

Anouk winced in pain at her thoughts; it was so hard to know that Alexei couldn’t even look at her and that he wanted her gone… such a pity she had failed killing herself. That made her think how she had come here, because the bed was too uncomfortable to be her own and she was sure she was attached to some things. Anouk was sure she was in the hospital, but who had found her and brought her here? Her mother, her father? She couldn’t remember, she hadn’t been conscious at all, and if she had been in some moment she couldn’t remember at all. She was still a bit out of it but now her mind was staring to clear and so she started to hear sounds, her soft breathe in and out, the sounds of some machines… and the sound of his voice. It was a complete shock, and it took a whole minute for her brain to process he was really there and was calling her name now that he noticed the change on her breath and the slight moves of her body. Well there was no way back now, he was there and she was bound to face him. She tried to lift from her bed, but her whole body screamed in protest. She had to lean back against the pillow making a face and opening her eyes.

She looked around, resting her eyes on the room but him, and noticed Alexei wasn’t alone in the room, with him was also Cass. She should have known he was going to be there, she finally moved her eyes to rest on Alexei, both of them looked awful. “What did you do? You both look so awful.” Anouk felt weird speaking and her mouth tasted funny probably because of the medication. She was one to speak, she was sure she looked horrible, with her pale and how extremely thing she had grown with the abuse of alcohol and drugs… She sighed, not in the mood to speak one little bit, not in the mood to face everything, the situation she was in right now… She sounded so weak even to her, her voice a soft whisper and alive, so bloody alive…

----

WORD COUNT, 613

[ciaran cassidy corbett]

don't think too hard if you think it hurts that bad

[/i][/size]
DON'T TALK ABOUT IT DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN[/font]

Cass being civil, that was new. Not only he was being civil, he was being quiet. It could be due to the fifth threat he had received so far from the security guards who were more than ready to throw him out. Instead of continue the banter with Alex as he little heart oh-so-desired he was sitting in the waiting room holding the now empty paper cup that Alex had brought him with coffee and giving the nurses a series of murderous glares. They pretty much had to tackle him down and force him to get the wound Alex had provoked tended to. Now he had a nice bandage and a couple stitches that Cass was hoping wouldn’t leave a mark.

Cass had no idea how long it had been but neither he nor Alex had moved from their spots. They were both waiting for the same: news from the doctors. Every time a man in a white coat appeared in the waiting room Cass’ ears perked up only to fall back down when he realized the news they brought weren’t about Anouk. For someone who was so naturally uneasy like Cass it was like hell, but he still managed to survive through it because it was Anouk, and he was concerned for her… even if she had declared her love for Alex in front of him. It was ok, he didn’t love Anouk and they both knew it pretty well but still it didn’t make him less concerned for her.

What seemed like an eternity later a doctor Cass recognized finally called Alex. Ignoring the fact that he wasn’t a family member he walked behind them as the doctor declared it was ok for Anouk to receive visits. Cass cringed a little upon entering the room where Anouk was resting. It was as bad as the waiting room, or perhaps worse. He watched Anouk still unconscious and shot a glare at the doctor as if daring him to try to kick him out of the room. The doctor wisely said nothing on the matter and announced that she would wake up soon before leaving them alone. Just like he said, Anouk’s eyes fluttered open and Cass couldn’t help to smile relieved. She was alright, she would recover and she would be ok again. It felt like a weight was lifted from his chest, as if just seeing her awake again would make everything better. The smile turned into a frown when Anouk mentioned something about their appearance. “Well you don’t look like Sleeping Beauty either love. He started it.” Cass looked away, avoiding Alex’s and Anouk’s eyes which clearly indicated he was lying.

Anouk would be alright… and this of course brought another important question to his head. What was he supposed to do now? He was here out of concern for Anouk, but she obviously would be ok, physically at least. There was still the issue on why the fuck she attempted suicide for starters but Cass felt he wasn’t the one Anouk should be talking to about that. It was Alex, and he was there, probably ready to open his heart and declare his undying love for Anouk. Ugh, it was slightly uncomfortable… but meanwhile he’d stay there, at least until things got either mushy or complicated, then he’d flee like the plague and maybe go stalk Gareth or something like that….

[/center]
words 565
tagged alex ☻ & anouk
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
notes awww cass wants to flee 83 [/size]

[alexei leon fournier]

If this was a movie now, there probably would have been some sort of sad, light, depressing music playing in the background with a good light, guitar tune in the background which would have made Alex feel even more depressed than he was feeling then. He didn’t really know how to feel, Anouk was doing good, at least she was stable and that was all that mattered right? He just hoped that there would never be a moment when he would have to be put through this again, another moment when Anouk would feel as if he didn’t love her because he did, he loved her so and was just too afraid to say it. Maybe the day would come when he would be able to tell her everything he felt about her, how much she annoyed him, yet how much he wanted to push her hair back and kiss her whenever they were both arguing. Yes, these feelings had just developed just a few weeks ago, but they were there now and hopefully she would understand and wouldn’t mind how late he had developed these feelings. His lip was stitched; an ice pack in his left hand that had been given by a nurse to help with his black eye but Alex wasn’t really bothered with all that.

Sighing as the time slowly passed, he began to play with his fingers, taking of invisible lint form his clothes as he waited for news, any sort of news that would give him more hope than before. He wanted to hit Cass, just to pass the time, but what good would that be for the both of them? How good would it be if he hit Cass and was then forced out of the hospital? He didn’t want that at all, he wanted to be by Anouk’s bedside when she fluttered her eyes open, wanted to be there for when she finally spoke and when he could finally see with his own eyes that she was actually truly alive albeit being a bit bloody and disorientated. Every time a doctor came out of her room, passed by or even a nurse, he wanted to be told that she was great, that they could visit her finally but there was no such news given to him…and Cass. It was just annoying that he had to wait for so long, he wanted to see his sister for God’s sake! But it didn’t seem as if anyone cared, as if they wanted to put him through this torture.

Finally the doctor put him out of his misery and he walked in, his face paled slightly as he saw Anouk’s body just resting there. He took a glance at Cass, becoming slightly annoyed that the boy had followed him in but he didn’t want to argue with him, her room could do without the anger. A sigh ran through his entire body as soon as he realised that Anouk’s eyes were fluttering open, just like the doctor had told them. Letting out a roll of the eyes as she was only worried about how the both of them looked and not the state that she was in, he shook his head at Cass’s comment. “Shut up, you were the one who charged at me like a bull.” Shaking his head he curled his hands up into fists, rocking on the heels of his shoes as he wondered what he was supposed to do. He, for once in his life, hoped that Cass would just talk his way out of this, but it wouldn’t happen. This was all because of Alex, he was pretty much sure of it. So slowly, he made his way towards the bed, grabbing a stool and putting it beside her he sat down. Taking he hand slowly in his, he stroked it, unsure of what to say. “You idiot…”

tagged// anouk/cass!
word count// 648!
muse// silence!
thoughts// haha ^^

[anouk lirienne fournier]

Okay, so this wasn’t what she had expected when waking up, in fact Anouk hadn’t planned on waking up at all. But finding both Cass and Alexei in there… well she wasn’t ready at all to face any of them at the moment but destiny seemed to think otherwise for her and wanted to face her. First she had to figure out why she had done something like that, though that wasn’t really hard to answer since she had seen it coming for a while now and it had been matter of time and the right push. Now that she was awake thought there was no way around this, but if she could avoid the topic she would, no one would dare pressuring her right now in such an state, they will just try to avoid it as much as her, or so she hoped. She had more urgent matters to think about, now it was obvious she couldn’t hide things to Cass anymore, she couldn’t keep him for herself and do such a thing to him because that was being unfair, and she couldn’t live under the same roof than Alexei, not if she didn’t want to commit suicide again but she would have to try and be that ‘strong’ girl she had been for the past years.

She giggled at both of them but it came like a face of pain, she was aching all over one of the reasons she never liked hospitals, they made her feel horrible and weak and she just wanted to go home and be able to dig on her own misery. She looked at Cass because she oh so wanted to ignore Alexei was there for the moment just like he requested her to do, if he didn’t care about her what on earth was he doing in there. She could very well manage without him, she had been doing it after all and Cass was with her. “Bullshit Cass, I know you too well to buy that. I always look good.” She said giggling and looking for his hand. Anouk knew she was probably looking as awful as she was feeling, all the things she had done to her body paying off on her all at once; the drugs, the alcohol, the sleepless nights… “Easy there boys… no fighting in front of me right now unless you want some serious ass kicking.” Her eyes tear away from Cass when she felt some movement coming from Alexei’s direction and she watched him sat near her on the bed.

When he took her hand on his she cringed away, she didn’t want this right now, she didn’t want or need his pity toward her, she didn’t want to hear that tone in his voice as he was tired and blaming himself and above all she wasn’t strong enough right at the moment to deal with more pain, she squeezed Cass hand looking for some support. “Uh yeah, thanks for the reminder, but I didn't forget that part.” Anouk tried to curl into a ball and make herself small, away from him because well, he had clearly expressed his wish for her to be out of his life and that was something she could give him. “You two should go clean up a bit, how long had you been waiting?” She tried to sound matter of fact about them having her blood all over their clothes; to be honest she didn’t know what to do or say, she was so not ready for this right now. She was tired, she ached all over and all she needed was… well she didn’t know what she needed, apart from being alone and dead, but if she expressed those wishes out loud she was sure to win some dirty stares for both of them.

----

WORD COUNT, 644

[ciaran cassidy corbett]

don't think too hard if you think it hurts that bad

[/i][/size]
DON'T TALK ABOUT IT DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN[/font]

Cass should’ve been avoiding this situation right? He wasn’t seen as the caring and loving type, because he wasn’t supposed to the caring and loving type. He actually was but… eh that was still a secret. He did care for Anouk, that was a given and everyone and their moms could see it but was he really willing to go out of his comfort zone and show it? He had been showing it these past hours, by staying here and avoiding kicking Alex again but how longer he’d be able to keep it up? He felt uncomfortable, he didn’t like hospitals, he didn’t like seeing people hurt and he didn’t like being in the same room with Alex without throwing a comment that would piss the other off. Literally, Cass was about to say something stupid like ‘lol I see you’re ok now, time to go’ but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Instead that nice part of him kicked in and he stood there, next to anouk’s bed, smiling down at her but still not quite bringing himself to focus on how weak and ghost-like she looked.

The perfect chance to let his attention drift was when Alex turned the blame on him. Ok, he DID attack first but leave it to Cass to ignore that crucial fact. He merely glared at Alex and stuck his tongue out at him in a rather childish way before being encountered with Anouk holding his hand. It wasn’t strange, they held hands all the time in ways that went from friendly to something else. Never romantic though, neither did the ‘romantic’ thing with the other which was one of the silent agreements of their relationship. It didn’t even feel romantic this time, it felt supportive and Cass could work with that. Squeezing her hand gently his expression softened from the look he had shot at Alex to a tender smile turned to Anouk. “I’m behaving.” He said, acting again like the kid who broke the dishes but blamed his brother.

Another moment of surprise came when Anouk pretty much brushed Alex away. Well now this was interesting. If Cass were a horrible being like he sometimes appeared to be he’d bask in the victory and let Alex rot in his broken heart but he was there when Anouk muttered an ‘I love you’ that wasn’t exactly for him, it was for Alex. Looking up at the other for the first time in a while Cass didn’t shoot an angry look, or even a mocking one. He looked at Alex with a slight tint of confusion and a little bit of curiosity as to what he was going to do about this. Squeezing Anouk’s hand back he didn’t let her notice his look and just offered the support she needed. Cass wasn’t about to be serious and thoughtful about this situation. He knew the last thing Anouk wanted was to confront things as soon as she woke up so he wasn’t about to ask ‘why you did this?’ or ‘do you understand how much you hurt us?’. That wouldn’t be Cass at all. Instead he laughed and kneeled next to the bed to take a look at Anouk’s face as she tried to curl up in a ball. “What is that? Are you telling me I stink or something? It’s my natural scent darling, you know you love it.” He chuckled and rested his head on the bed, looking at Anouk with a smile. Talk about uncomfortable moments… not because of Anouk of course, but because apparently she didn’t remember the ‘I love you alex’ slap from before. Well… he still could be nice, right?

[/center]
words 614
tagged alex ☻ & anouk
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
notes ♥ [/size]

[alexei leon fournier]

The first thing that Alexei noticed straightaway was that Anouk didn’t notice him, well she did notice him it was just that she wasn’t looking at him and was looking away from him. As if she wanted to be free from him and never see him again. That was just horrible, it was as if a knife had been plunged into his heart and she had twisted it painfully, though he was sure that pain wouldn’t ever be able to compare to how she had felt when he had rejected her. Rejection was a big part of life, something that everyone had to go through in his or her lives at least once, and he had been rejected before, he knew how it felt. So much and this was just something completely new that it surprised him all together. She was avoiding meeting his gaze, looking at Cass more so often than him and that made him feel even more jealous than usual of the boy that had been dating Anouk, or the boy who was maybe still dating her right at this very moment. He couldn’t’ just swoop in and steal her from him could he? No, that wasn’t like Alex to do so, they were good friends, ‘soul mates’ as they called each other, how could he even do that?

They seemed to be always happy with one another; it was as if Cass brought a happier side out of her, something that Alex would probably be never able to do because he was an idiot, an asshole and someone so stupid as to let a girl like her out of his life. She didn’t even seem to react when he held her hand, but she seemed to react when Cass did, which just showed him that she liked him more than Alexei, he was probably being an idiot. He was the idiot not her. Shaking his head when she told him that she already knew she was that, he didn’t know how to react anymore, so slowly his grip on her hand started to loosen a little, as if he were doing something very wrong. The both of them loved each other, even if Anouk had told him she loved him in her unconscious state, she was probably thinking about before, nothing else, she obviously liked Cass, maybe even loved and that made him horribly jealous.

Slowly, his hand was fully removed from Anouk’s own hand and he placed it on his lap, looking down as if he was interrupting some romantic moment between two lovers. It was his entire fault wasn’t it? He had left it too late, he rejected her before and she was probably doing it to him now and he fully well bloody deserved it because he was such an idiot, such an asshole. He was the most stupid idiot in the world and he was sure that as the years passed by he would still beat himself up about it. He nodded his head as she spoke and stood up, awkwardly coughing into his hand without meeting her gaze or even looking at Cass, the boy was acting adorable, like a child, it was obvious that Anouk would want someone like him in her life, he was making her more happy than Alexei was at least. “Well…I’ll just be going, leave you and Cass alone. I’ll tell mom and dad, they’ll probably come around.” With that being said he turned around, his face grim as he began to exit the room.

tagged// anouk/cass!
word count// 589!
muse// silence!
thoughts// alex doesn't want to be there ><