in your head · deimos

[anouk lirienne fournier]

The mirror was reflecting back an image she wasn’t used to see anymore. Anouk stared at it and smiled at her reflection, dressed like this, with all the makeup and everything she felt more like the girl she once had been and being able to hit the party scene once again and with Deimos made her feel excited, as if she had never left, as if she kept attending to those wild parties and getting drunk out of her mind. She had controlled herself for so long and suffered a lot because of it, she had lost most of her friend and her life to change it for a more secluded and calm one with Alexei. But that’s all she did, spend time with Alexei, what kind of life was that? She had to get back some of the old Anouk, that fearless shiny girl everyone loved and stared at, and right now, with that super small dress and those insanely high heels she was back being her, she even felt the old Anouk inside her starting to wake up and being as excited as she was. She had tried to reconcile those two sides of her into one but it was impossible to mix her old party life with her new life, and taking Alexei with her to those kind of parties was completely out of the question. Was there any harm on drinking more than usual, some harmless flirting and dancing the night away? She didn’t think so.

Anouk didn’t know what Alexei was going to say about this but honestly right at this point she could care less. Writing a note for him she left it on the table, knowing he was going to get it and instructed him to not wait for her awake because she was probably come in very late in the night or very early in the morning. She suppressed that she was actually going with Deimos, what he didn’t know it wouldn’t hurt him. Grabbing her keys and her purse she exited the apartment and walked to her car driving to where they were supposed to meet. She felt special again, wanted, loved, sparkly. When she got off the car a lot of males near stopped to stare and she smiled with her head up high and walked toward the door waiting for Dem to arrive. Deimos had been one of those guys who denied what they were but Anouk, being so close to Sam, knew perfectly well what he was and it was a pity really but it’s not like she had any chances anymore anyway. That, though, never stopped her from flirting with him and the other way around, but it was harmless fun flirting and she enjoyed it a lot, it made her feel a bit back to herself even if Alexei got jealous. She gave up a lot for him, she was on her right to have some fun too and get something of the old her back.

She shook her head to stop thinking about that and closed her eyes allowing the vibrations of the music inside go through her body. She winked a couple of guys that stared openly at her, she had forgot what attention was, even though Alexei was always looking after her and looking at her she had forgot how it felt to be gorgeous and to have the gaze of men upon you all the time. Soon enough she recognized the form of Deimos approaching the club and she didn’t move, leaning against the wall with her hands on the pockets of her jacket she called over to him. “Oh look, a hot guy coming my way, what should I do?” She laughed and walked over to him. “It’s been long, I’ve missed you around Deimos!” Taking a step back she proceeded to check him out. “Looking good huh? Has the party scene missed me much?” She was so glad to be back, she never thought changing could be this hard, her heart had missed this and bleed for it and now it was as if she was never gone, she could enjoy the party because those depressive feelings weren’t there anymore, she had Alex at home and she was out partying, Anouk felt complete.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 713

[deimos basileus cosmatos]

YOU CAN FEEL THE POUNDING WRAPPED AROUND YOUR CHEST
WE SHOULDDIE TONIGHT

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NOTHING'S TOO EXCESSIVE WHEN YOU'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT
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Adjusting his vest in front of the mirror Deimos smirked a little at the image in front of him. For a while he had crawled into this ‘seclusion’ shell when Sam left, avoiding talking to people and going out in general but now… well now he was ready to go back. Well… ok… he wasn’t exactly what one would call ready but he was as ready as he could be. Deimos hadn’t stopped his oldest habits, he still flirted and he still collected ex-girlfriends as if they were postcards but only someone who knew him really well would be able to tell how affected he had been by Sam’s departure; someone like Artemis for example. Having met with the other artist earlier that day helped with his mood a little. He couldn’t spend his entire school year moping about something or someone, it just wasn’t like him. In a sense he was a lot like Anouk used to be in that way. He was the one breaking hearts, not the other way around. Alright so there was a lot more to that sentence when talking about Anouk but… the initial thought was what mattered; Deimos wasn’t supposed to be sad about some guy leaving him because he was the one who left people broken hearted, right? Right!

So there he was, adding the final touches to his outfit and getting ready to go out for the night. Deimos had never been a heavy drinker as he was more of a ‘partier’. He loved to dance and get lost in the music; he loved the scent of a crowded place as much as he loved smoking under the moonlight outside some bar, waiting for his feet to stop complaining from all the dancing. Of course he took a drink or two, never enough to get wasted though… otherwise he ended up flirting with anything that moved, including males. Ugh, there was another thought heavy enough to bring him down a little. Sam had said it, Artemis had said it as well: it was alright to like guys, he didn’t have to hide it, he didn’t have to pretend he was someone else and break all those girls’ hearts but what they didn’t see is that he did have to. Deimos just wasn’t ready to accept something like that, even if being with Sam and Artemis beat being with ten girls at the same time.

Shaking his head and trying to dismiss the gloomy thoughts Deimos reached for his keys and wallet and walked out of the apartment building. As usual his car was already waiting out there and off he went to meet Anouk. As usual the people at the valet received his car and as soon as he got out he felt the eyes of more than a few people on him. Someone like Deimos was just easy to stare at, he didn’t exactly feel at his best but he still managed to look flawless. The simple yet elegant outfit and the way he walked with elegance and a slight air of superiority always caught people’s eyes, and it was always what Deimos counted on to get girls’ attention. Dropping his keys at the valet he directed a few smiles at the people around him a wave or two at people he was familiar with. Oh how he missed this feeling, it certainly wasn’t as good as having someone waiting for you at home but it certainly was a good surrogate.

Walking towards the door he immediately noticed Anouk’s figure. It was hard not to notice her with how beautiful and eye catching she was. He wasn’t the only one looking at her obviously and it would be safe to say that half the looks were posed on her while the other half were posed on him. “Well what is this? A hot girl talking to me? My oh my, what will I do?” He said in his characteristic Greek accent while approaching Anouk and circling her as if checking her out. It was just part of the little ‘flirting’ thing they had going on. Anouk flirted with Deimos, and Deimos flirted right back at her but both knew nothing else would be happening between them. For starters Deimos was very much aware that Anouk was with Alex, and that was one can of worms he didn’t want to open and secondly, Anouk knew what he was hiding from Sam. So in short… no, nothing would be happening there.

“I’ve missed you too Anouk.” He finally said with a light hearted chuckle as he reached to kiss her cheek. “I would love to say the party scene has missed you but I’m afraid I have been missing it as well. Care to catch up with me?” he asked while chivalrously offering her an arm. As soon as they looked ready to walk in the bouncer in the door instantly moved aside, letting the two in. Apparently the party scene did miss them and Deimos felt satisfied with knowing that even a random bouncer remembered them.

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WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE
WELOSTCONTROL

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WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE[/center]

•tags• anouk!
•outfit• hurr
•comments• partayyy!!!
•word count• idk D<
•lyrics• DIE TONIGHT, LIVE FOREVER by InnerPartySystem
•credit• AMANDA THE PIRATE * @ CAUTION !

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[anouk lirienne fournier]

How long had it been since she last felt the buzz down going through her veins warming up her body? Or the last time she had felt the music through her body and was squeezed by people while she danced? How long since all the males eyes were focused on the smooth curves of her body and her flawless skin? Very long indeed, it felt like a lifetime for Anouk. She was glad to discover the night welcomed her like an old friend and that she hadn’t lose her touch at all, the charm and the beauty was still there, she just had covered it. She waved, smiled, winked and flirted with the guys around her, those who were brave enough because others just stand there watching her from afar. She would never forget she had Alexei waiting for her at home but by god if she hadn’t missed this. Running a hand through her hair she smiled at Deimos and winked at him. Harmless flirting because neither of them was interested in something more at all. Yes, he was undeniable hot and his body was a Greek monument but no, she was really happy with Alex and well… even if Deimos was a manwhore and was pretty much like the past her Anouk knew better, way better, than to believe all his show. She remembered once she said to Alex, back when they bickered and fought, that nobody could break her heart, she was the one doing the breaking all the time. She forgot to mention she was already broken and it was impossible to fix it and it was the same for Deimos.

He was broken hearted by her friend Sam that had left Paris to go back to Berlin. She missed Sam, a lot, because he had been a dear friend for her and he worried about her health but that was nothing compared to how much Deimos missed him and Anouk wasn’t stupid as to not notice that. “The polite thing to do is greet her and compliment her I think.” She raised her eyebrow letting him check her out and was well aware of all the eyes set on them, it was as if they were movie stars or something between a bunch of fans looking at them with eager eyes and envy. This was the reason she never cared what people said about her, it was worth the attention and she had always been proud of being free and act the way she wanted. She took proud in the way she looked, talked, walked and even thought and no one had ever changed that, she had just put that to sleep to have Alex first now that he was in her life. Tonight though was all about her again, about the old her. She kissed his cheek too and smirked, shaking her head. “You took a break huh? Well at least I’m glad I didn’t miss things here.” She took his arm and they walked toward the door, the bouncer immediately moving out of their way and flashing a smile she returned.

Anouk has been frequent face at the party scene and wasted a lot of money in alcohol and sometimes, when she wanted something more exclusive, she paid for the VIP places of the clubs. No door had ever been closed for her, a smile and a bat of her eyelashes and she was in. Taking Deimos hand she walked up to the bar, first thing firsts she so needed a few drinks then the both of them could dance the night away and feel themselves again. “Whiskey on the rocks for me! And…” She turned to Deimos to ask for his drink, winking to the bartender who gave her a flirty smile. Perks of being a hot girl, everyone was on their knees just to get a glance or a smile out of you. “Whatever the gentleman here wants.” Soon enough he was off to fix their drinks and once she had the cold glass on her hands she took a long heartfelt sip of it. “I’ve missed this.” The liquid burnt her throat and warmed her insides making her smile. Drinking nothing stronger than champagne had really left some needs unsatisfied, needs she had ignored too long and that now she was covering. “How do you feel?” Straight to the topic, that was Anouk, she knew Deimos will know what she was asking; she wanted that topic with Sam out of the way so they could have fun.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 757

[deimos basileus cosmatos]

YOU CAN FEEL THE POUNDING WRAPPED AROUND YOUR CHEST
WE SHOULDDIE TONIGHT

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NOTHING'S TOO EXCESSIVE WHEN YOU'VE GOT NOTHING LEFT
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The low tones of the music, that’s what Deimos missed the most. The bass hitting against his chest, like a heartbeat, that’s what he definitely loved from partying. It felt animalistic, as if it hit some string in him that just happened to be the right one and as soon as they entered the bar and the music started booming against his ears he could feel that sensation all over again.

Deimos couldn’t help but notice how much the roles had changed. Last time he partied with Anouk she had been the broken one. She had been drinking and partying in order to get rid of a feeling of emptiness that Deimos couldn’t understand while he was partying just for the pleasure of doing so. Sure, he had a few skeletons in his closet but he had been coming to terms with those with the aid of Artemis and then with Sam. He went to bars and spent money on alcohol and company because he felt like it, because he liked the taste of a girl’s lips after she had danced her soul in the center of the stage. Sure, he would’ve preferred a guy’s but who was he to complain? Now everything was reversed. Anouk was here free, like a clear spirit that just sought the fun of it all while he was the one carrying a heavy weight. Sam was gone, and it left him a lot worse than he thought it would be.

Deimos wanted to drink. He wanted to swallow as much alcohol as he could and deal with a killer hangover the next day just because he felt like it. It didn’t matter that hangovers were on the top of his list of dislikes, and it didn’t matter that he was supposed to drive back home. Nothing mattered right now, only that beautiful sound of drums on his head, soothing him and inviting him to get lost.

“Scotch please.” He said at Anouk’s invitation and watched the barman walking away. “I’ve missed this too, and from the looks of it…. we were missed as well!” He chuckled and waved at a table filled with girls he recognized as past conquest. Well some things never changed, he just wished those girls had a little bit more self esteem to at least not wave at him after he dumped them. Oh well, that’s why he simply couldn’t understand women. Deimos was about to suggest they hit the dancing floor after their drinks arrived but her sudden question caught him completely off guard. Lifting an eyebrow and feigning ignorance would serve him nothing. He knew perfectly well what Anouk meant and he was sure she knew it and if not then the almost sepulchral silence that fell upon him for the following seconds would tip her off. How was he? He never quite stopped to think about that, always trying to keep his mind busy with something or the other and managing to successfully avoid the topic altogether. He also managed to let his grades slip and isolate himself from the world for a few weeks but no one really noticed that.

“How do I feel? Well…” He tapped his bottom lip, a very uncharacteristic sad smile appearing on his lips as he tried to choke the emotions back. Deimos wasn’t as good as others in doing so, hence why Sam noticed Deimos felt something for him to begin with. An awkward scratch on the back of his neck added to the uneasiness that was coming to terms with his current emotions. So much for forgetting about it while trying to have some liquor induced fun huh? Well he needed this, and Anouk probably knew it better than anyone else. Deimos had to wonder what would’ve happened if someone ever asked Anouk how was she or how was she feeling and she gave a truthful reply before everything came crashing down.

“To be honest… I’m feeling like shit.” He finally said, laughing softly at his own painfully true answer. He missed Sam, he missed him a lot and nothing people could say would change that so… what better way to forget a little about that than partying, right?

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[/blockquote][/blockquote]

WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE
WELOSTCONTROL

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WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE WE LOST CONTROL WE'RE ALL HERE CAUSE[/center]

•tags• anouk!
•outfit• hurr
•comments• partayyy!!!
•word count• 700
•lyrics• DIE TONIGHT, LIVE FOREVER by InnerPartySystem
•credit• AMANDA THE PIRATE * @ CAUTION !

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[/blockquote][/blockquote][/blockquote]

[anouk lirienne fournier]

The club was packed as it had been back at the old times and maybe if she stopped thinking they were old times she could be able to get back that feeling. The night had missed her and Anouk knew it, it wasn’t just the stares, she knew the party scene missed two beasts when she left the scene and also when Deimos took his break. She allowed her body to move a little with the music as she walked through people to get to the bar taking in the scent, the music, the beat and the bodies moving around her. It was crazy, it was mad but it was as if coming back home or greeting a very dear old friend you hadn’t seen in a long while. And it received them both with open arms, just like she had expected it would. She couldn’t even remember when it was the last time she had been on a good party it seemed like a life time ago and it felt just like that too and she hadn’t been the same girl she was now.

Freedom was what she had back then, a different kind of freedom because now she was emotionally free from pain but tied down to a man, engaged and following very different rules. She had matured but she missed her party self, that wild animal now locked on a cage deep inside her that was roaring now and begging for release, to allow it take total control of her. Deimos had also been different back then and the situation they were now was really different from those times so it all needed some readjustments. Back then she used alcohol, boys and drugs to heal her broken heart and to hide her pain from the world, if she partied everything was alright in the world, if she partied it meant she was fine enough, and now it was Deimos turn to bury his feelings and thoughts under layers of alcohol. The bartender served them both their drinks and she tossed hers into her mouth quickly, tasting the alcohol with closed eyes and smiling, this was heaven. “We are awesome like that.” She said laughing and shaking her head. She saw the longing in his eyes for release of any kind and the glances he shoot at the dance floor, but Anouk knew very well what it was to feel like the most miserable human being on the surface of the earth and the emptiness and loneliness, the contradictory feelings of wanting to be asked about what was wrong and not wanting people to notice there was actually something wrong.

It was something Anouk just had to ask because she was very conscious of what happened when you handle it all alone on your own and no one else seemed to care about it. She wasn’t going to allow that to happen to Deimos, she wasn’t going to let him bottle it up until it exploded. Leave to Anouk to ask bluntly those kinds of questions and not sugarcoating things and leave it to Deimos to answer truthfully. “I’m not going to give you the ‘time heals everything’ crap because it didn’t do a shit for me and neither it would do it for you.” She said with a smile and taking another sip from her whiskey. “I’m also not going to give you the ‘you’ll get over it crap’ because I’m not one to talk.” Leaving the empty glass on the bar she asked the bartender for the strongest shot he had on the place and turned again to Deimos. “But truth be told your position is very different from the one I was back then, and you don’t have to deal with seeing Sam every day which means eventually the wounds will heal because yours won’t be re-opened and you will be able to move on with your life.” She tossed the shot the bartender placed in front of her with his phone number, she laughed and with a wink she gave his number back to him. “And now that we know how you feel, we know what you need, let’s go hit the dance floor and get trashed and enjoy the fucking night.”

Yes, leave to Anouk to be the kind of girl that will say quite a few things to your face without thinking if they will hurt or not but that hadn’t changed on her and she wasn’t going to start changing it now. Taking Deimos hand she guided him through the club to where the music was louder. The louder the music the less chances of thinking, especially if you were in the mood of leaving your mind completely blank. Dancing like this again felt absolutely great and she had always loved dancing with Deimos because people stopped and stared long and hard at them, especially with envy.

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OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 816