without you being insecure

[severus zeke macportland]

there was a time in zeke's life when he went from caring about everyone, to caring about no one. all he ever did was push people around, put people down, and laugh about it. it wasn't that he never understood that he was hurting people, because he did know what he was doing, but it was that he wanted people to suffer as well. he had been through so much in his life that he wanted to drag other people down with him. then he met some one that he could have a casual conversation with. he thought that was good. then some one actually showed that they cared. rae was the first person to actually listen to him. honestly he was scared shitless to have some one understand where he was coming from. sure, he put it into the music that he wrote, but those were fans that listened. there wasn't some one that ran up to him and said that they loved the meaning behind his songs. no, because people didn't know who he was. his face wasn't all over billboards like rascal flatts or lil wayne.

so when he went over to rae's for a portrait, to say that he was nervous was an understatement. he was worried that she would make fun of him. he didn't want to be made fun of by her like so many of the other girls that he had hung out with once or twice. those girls... he could never deal with them because all they ever wanted to do was talk about their problems. they never wanted to ask him how he was doing. zeke silently stood outside her door for a couple seconds, and then reached up, knocked on the door, and waited.

tag; tammeh
song; how to love by lil wayne
notes; here we go

[rae alexandra prince]

• BY YOUR SIDE BY YOUR SIDE •
i can be right standing in your eyes now !

Camera, lens, artificial lighting… Rae started gathering the material the moment Zeke agreed to do this photo shoot with her. She wasn’t even sure if she’d use half of the stuff as it was midday and she probably wouldn’t need any extra lighting. Either way she wanted to be ready. Rae wasn’t good with portraits, she would be the first one to admit it. People always felt stiff and uneasy in front of a camera so she found it hard to capture the essence of people when they were trying to be someone they really weren’t. That’s why she loved animals, they would never fake a smile or anything. Well, Zeke seemed to be willing to do this so she wanted to give it a try. Plus he was hot; who wouldn’t want to take photos of a hot guy?

Giving the camera one last check out she couldn’t help but glance at the door every now and then, as if she had extra sensorial abilities and could tell if Zeke was close. She didn’t, mind you, she was just a bit nervous about this entire portrait things especially since Zeke was the first person she’d take photos of in a long while. He was also the first person to come to her apartment since like… ever. Rae never invited anyone over, mostly because the place was a mess filled with photos, film, and magazine cut outs pasted all over the walls. This was supposed to be school work though, so hopefully Zeke wouldn’t judge the mess. There were also underlying reasons for Rae to keep people away from her place… safety was the biggest one. Having a problem with paranoia did that to you. Well she was feeling just dandy, she had her pills and she was in a good mood so inviting Zeke over didn’t seem like a bad idea at all.

The bell ringing made Rae almost drop the camera. “Coming!!” She said with her soft voice before putting the thing aside and jumping over the couch and a few piled up magazines to reach the door. Pulling it over she surprised herself a bit… it had been the first time in her entire life she didn’t ask who was behind the door and instead flung it open, expecting to see Zeke there. What if it wasn’t Zeke? What if it was a friggin’ rapist?? Oh well, it WAS Zeke, so everything was ok. “I’m so glad you came! I wasn’t sure if you’d come. I’m so sorry for the horrible mess, I never gather enough drive to put everything in order…” She said, stepping aside and letting Zeke in all while getting a bit red and a bit embarrassed at the mess in the apartment. “Did you find the place alright? I used to get lost a lot the first week I got to Paris and rented the place… getting lost in a foreign country is scary…” Rae let her mind wander away for a few seconds before snapping back. “Sorry, I tend to do that, you know… fly away…. Anyway, where would you like to start? How about with a smile?” She tilted her head sweetly before lifting up her camera and half pointing it at Zeke. She wondered why people said Zeke was an asshole, he always seemed nice around her. Sure, he could be hard to handle sometimes but an asshole…? Maybe she was missing the bigger picture here…

WORDS,, 500
TAGGED,, zeke~
OUTFIT,, soon to come!
MUSIC,, all along by remedy drive
NOTES,, ♥ hope this cheers you up :3 and the next one won't be so long I promise D<. rae likes to ramble
CREDIT,, PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION[/size]

[severus zeke macportland]

oh my god, she has a lip ring. was the first thing that popped into zeke's mind. he had always found lip rings the hottest piercing in the world, especially when she had full lips like he loved. he cleared his throat and took his eyes off her lips. he let a small smile fall on his lips, but his eyes stayed blank like they always did when he was trying to hide his true emotions. he glanced around her place and smiled inward, loving that she didn't keep everything absolutely neat and tidy. he couldn't deal with girls that were like that. "no, the dirtiness is completely understandable. makes me feel at home anyway." his voice was deep and almost seductive without him intending for it to be. he looked at her and he reminded himself that he didn't have to have his walls up around her. she was his friend, or so she claimed to be.

he watched as she asked if he found her place alright, and just nodded. he had found it perfectly fine, but that was because he had been around here for a while. then to his amazement, the room went quiet. he looked to his left to see that she was spacing, and he found himself amazed. in the time that she was zoned out, there was almost a calmness to her face. she almost seemed perfect. some one he had always dreamed of ending up with when he was younger...

"smile works fine by me." he stated simply, and he moved so that he was where she positioned him, and then he looked at her, and she didn't even have to smile. he saw a pureness in her, one that would never intentionally hurt him, and that set him right. he knew that he had finally found some one that was genuinely his friend. without forcing it, he smiled. he smiled like he hadn't in a long time. it was almost like he had raised a weight up and off his chest.

tag; tammeh
song; how to love by lil wayne
notes; =]]

[rae alexandra prince]

• BY YOUR SIDE BY YOUR SIDE •
i can be right standing in your eyes now !

One of the reasons why Rae wasn’t good with portraits was because of people trying to fake emotions. She didn’t like the look of a fake smile or even a fake angry face on them which was what most people tried to portray whenever she mentioned the expression she was looking for. Zeke said he was good with expressions which was a surprise considering he was no drama student or actor. Even drama students tended to slip here and there and most of them charged for their work… while Rae did have money to spend on someone posing for her she preferred to take photos of a friend. Zeke pleasantly surprised her with that smile. She even pulled the camera down for a few seconds and stared at his expression, totally oblivious as the fact that he was really smiling and not just posing for her. “Well well you weren’t kidding when you said you were good!” The last word came with a click from the camera that took the photo. Pulling up the small screen up to her blue eyes she fiddled with her lip ring for a couple seconds before smiling again. “Yup, this is what I call a perfect smile, see?” She turned the camera around and showed the screen to Zeke where his smiley face could be seen in tones of yellow due to the camera settings. “I might just have to keep this one for my private collection!” Rae giggled a little before reaching over to hold onto Zeke’s hand. “Oh come over here, this is where I wanted to take the photos.” She pulled his arm towards the next room where a small balcony (and more mess) adorned one of the walls.

The balcony seemed to be pulled out from one of those French romantic movies. The railings were made of forged iron and some flowers hung from pots. “Here! Well, at least the ones with, you know, good emotions. I’m not so sure where I would like to see you as an asshole… oh well maybe we could go out somewhere else, meanwhile this will do.” Rae had taken a single photo and she was already feeling as if she could pull this assignment with flying marks. She would really have to thank Zeke afterwards.

It still felt slightly weird for Rae to simply invite someone out of the blue to her place. She liked Zeke though, and it wasn’t like the type of like she felt for friends or anything like that… not even her friends had stepped into her apartment, it was other type of like. There wasn’t much time to find out what exactly it was though, or what she was going to do about it. Rae was too excited about taking pictures to think about anything else. “I bet you have one of those laughing smiles that make girls fall for you in an instant… let’s see… what do I have to do to make you laugh…?” Rae pondered to herself all while fiddling with the camera on his hands and giving Zeke a direct and thoughtful look. Using cute guys as portrait projects was a bit of a cheap way to obtain a good grade but in Rae’s defense, she was interested in the emotions Zeke could portray, not just on his good looks. He WAS good looking of course, no way to deny that.

WORDS,, 567
TAGGED,, zeke~
MUSIC,, all along by remedy drive
NOTES,, OH CLICK ME that would be the photo rae took 8'D
CREDIT,, PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION[/size]