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Post by aerona elen evan on Nov 25, 2011 14:36:14 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] can you get up right now? endevour to freefall?
cause you can fall if you want to, it's just a matter of how far. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Sometimes Aerona needed to get away from everything and everyone. Just to chill alone and forget the world and re-read what she had wrote down in her notebook. She was having one of those killer headaches that followed one of her episodes, this one wasn’t big but it was enough to get her scared because they were more frequent now. She will forget whole days, or small things, this time she just forgot what she ate or even if she ate at all. She picked the bus from her apartment to the Tuileries Gardens and then looked for one of those uncomfortable green chairs to sit in front of the fountain. The day was chilly but sunny and she sat comfortably there looking at the people around. Aerona’s decision to come to Paris was the best decision she had take in the past year, she couldn’t say of all her life because as far as things were she couldn’t remember one little bit of it. She had blurry images that came from the nightmares, nothing more than that. Sometimes she wanted to remember, sometimes she thought it was great not being able to remember after all the pressure she had back home.
Friends pressuring her into remembering them, hiding things from her, changing events from the past because she was a blank sheet, they could try to have the relationship they always wanted with her, with the exception that Aerona didn’t trust them at all. She didn’t even trust her parents to tell her the complete truth how can she trusts her ‘friends’? They were all strangers for her, people who just wanted to have her back, they didn’t understand she couldn’t be the same she was, and she didn’t even know how she was in the first place. Aerona had came to Paris to figure herself out, try new things, discover what she liked or not and make a life of her own again. It had been a year since she moved and she made new friends, she was having fun and discovering things, classes were going well… the only thing? Her mind fucking things up and she couldn’t bring herself to go to the hospital at all. Aerona opened her eyes… where was she? What was she doing there again?
As she looked around she tried to remember why she had come here in the first place. She knew where she was because the place was familiar to her but she couldn’t remember why she was there or how she had arrived. Walking? Bus? Metro? She griped her notebook opening it but she hadn’t written than down yet so she couldn’t find the reason why she was there or how she had arrived. That creepy feeling came back to her chest, the feeling of being surrounded by strangers being a stranger yourself. The voice of her mother in her head calling what was supposed to be her name the first day she woke up to those bright lights and that room of the hospital full of things that were supposed to be hers. Aerona should be used to this but every time it happened it got her scared to the bone, her fairly calm world being thrown upside down. She got up gripping her notebook and fumbling inside her purse for her mobile. She needed to call someone, she needed help, someone who could take her home or somewhere safe. But she couldn’t find her mobile in there, tears came to her eyes, she was lost again, and alone. What was she supposed to do now? Walk randomly around the place until she found her way back home?
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Post by ciaran cassidy corbett on Nov 26, 2011 21:45:51 GMT -5
 - - - TANGLED UP WITH ME - - -AND I LOST MY HEAD OH NO WHAT'S THIS• THE THOUGHT OF ALL THE STUPID THINGS I'VE SAID •Ah, belle Paris, city of light and other shit that Cass honestly couldn’t bring himself to remember! Still, it sounded poetic and pretty epic when he said it aloud. Not that he was reciting things aloud, he would probably get thrown in the drunk tank for disturbing the peace or something like that. It had happened before, and the drunk tank wasn’t a happy place to be especially if you had to spend there an entire day and it’s following night.
The sky was still bright with sun which was the precise reason why Cass decided to waste time until it was night time so he could make up a random excuse and beg Gareth to let him stay with him. He enjoyed staying at his place for a wide variety of reasons. The main one was the pleasure of staying a night with his boyfriend, even if they would just curl up and sleep. Other reasons worth mentioning were pissing Chelsea off, and getting to eat Gareth’s cooking. Yup, all was good in the world so far and Cass thought nothing could really mess up his happy life in Paris… except for the eventual fights with Gareth but they usually solved those.
Tuileries gardens were the chosen location to waste time. Unknown to many, Cass had a penchant for drawing flowers. Sure, he drew super massive murals full of life and color; the themes were varied and most often he included very random stuff, from a countryside scenario to a bunch of hobos. Yes, his paintings were rather random but at least the professors liked them. The flowers though, well he kept those in his personal portafolio, the one no one was allowed to see or even know about. Said stock of rough sketches and blank pages was hanging from his left hand as he walked down the gardens. Ever since he came to Paris almost half a year ago it had become a favorite spot for him. He usually sat under different trees and sketched whatever was around him until a security guard came and kindly asked him to get his ass off the grass he was not supposed to be stepping. This time he hadn’t found a spot yet. The place wasn’t particularly crowded but Cass liked solitude. Few times he had encountered someone from school and despite the fact that Cass loved company and attention (attention mostly) there were times in which he simply wanted to be left alone. It was also these times in which he seemed to be just himself. Not the attention seeker buffoon that everyone know, but just himself, the countryside boy who wanted nothing more than draw, paint, and love on his boyfriend.
Taking a nicely paved path, Cass found a place he hadn’t visited before. There were a few benches but still too much people for his likeness. Scratching the back of his head with one of his drawing pencils he scoffed at one particular tree which seemed good enough to lay under… it was already occupied by a snogging couple. The sight reminded him to call Gareth after he was done here. He even considered showing him the drawings and sketches but decided against it. Chelsea would probably be with him and he didn’t want to share something so private with someone who obviously hated his guts. Instead he continued walking down the road until he reached yet another series of benches. All of them were empty but one, and he happened to recognize the slender figure sitting on it. As if a switch had been activated the playful smile returned to his face. “’Sup homeskillet~” He said, faking an American accent and using a rather random phrase he had heard in a movie. The façade fell the moment he noticed Aerona was crying. Tilting his head in concern he took a seat next to her and leaned forward, trying to take a look at her face. “What’s wrong, do I have to kick someone’s ass?” There it was, his protective side kicking in. Cass liked to avoid conflict but whenever someone close to him was threatened he instantly jumped at someone’s throat. While any random passerby and their moms would attest that Cass wasn’t close to Aerona, he would say otherwise. Cass was convinced that Aerona was his Aerona. The one he shared almost every summer for the past 15 years with. Aerona didn’t remember though and Cass, showing one of those very rare and very hidden displays of kindness, never pushed her to remember. Instead he decided to become her friend all over again. Well hey, if he did it once, he could do it again, right?
tagged for who?
outfit click !
lyrics gravity by sara bareilles
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
notes blah blah rahr |
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Post by aerona elen evan on Nov 29, 2011 9:38:25 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] can you get up right now? endevour to freefall?
cause you can fall if you want to, it's just a matter of how far. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Paris had been her choice, no reason in particular. Aerona picked a map and the first name that called her name was that, she hadn’t regret her choice at all in the year she had been there already but lately when her episodes hit she started to regret being so far from home. At home she would have been safer; she wouldn’t have to be so scared, there would be always someone with her to take proper care of her when this happened. In Paris she was totally alone, and scared. Aerona thought she could very well take care of herself but of course she hadn’t count with this, now as the feeling took over her she started trembling, hot tears running down her cheeks. She let her head rest on her hands, without her mobile she couldn’t call Marcus to take her home, how could she forget something so important? Maybe it was there but right now she just couldn’t find it. Panic was taking over her and she didn’t know what to do, images of the first time she woke up crossed her mind making her feel even worst. Aerona had tried to suppress those feelings, she was happy being ignorant of her past and what happened, she just wanted to figure out who she was, what was forgotten couldn’t come back or so it seemed, so why pressuring her into it when it was futile? No one around her seemed to understand that, but she had to give them some credit, they protected her and helped her during that long year of physical therapy. They were there when she had her nightmares, when she cried and screamed during nights because blurry images of the accident came back to her mind.
But Aerona couldn’t stand the guilt in their eyes, the pity… they tried hard for her to remember so they wouldn’t have to feel bad about them being fairly unharmed during the accident and she staying in coma for three months. It hadn’t been their fault the car just so happened to be hit in the exact spot she was sitting at and she received the worst part. That was the official version of course, and she didn’t have reasons to doubt about it or to question what really happened, she also didn’t want to know. It were moments like this, when she felt so scared and so little, when all those bad feelings and memories she tried so hard to stay away from came back and hit her with strength. A voice came from behind her and she jumped not expecting anyone to talk to her, she title her head to see it was Cass and the boy sat beside her once he saw her crying. Aerona took a deep breath and cleaned the tears of her face with the sleeves of her jacket. She hadn’t expected someone to come to her rescue, much less this boy she recently met. Cass was one of those persons who recognized her from somewhere and she couldn’t remember one little bit, but instead of pressuring her into remembering she had just tried to be her friend. He was quite funny and she liked to hang around him, he had this way of making everything look exciting and different, and he was nothing but kind to her. She laughed relieved now that at least she had someone who could take her home safely. “It’s going to sound so stupid.” She said, cleaning more tears of her face.
Aerona was ashamed, she hated this, not being to remember something as simple as to how did you come to a place and why you were there, things like where did you left your mobile or your umbrella, the keys, what you had for lunch or if even eat at all. Some days were just blank the next morning; the only way to know what she did was the notebook she was gripping as if it was a lifeboat. “I don’t know what I am doing here or how I arrived. I just… forgot.” She tried to laugh at it but her voice failed her and quivered, she let her head drop again on her hands. “I can’t even remember the way home from here.” Aerona was so glad Cass had happened to be chilling around there and found her; she would have to write that down because she owed him big time.
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Post by ciaran cassidy corbett on Nov 29, 2011 15:58:18 GMT -5
- - - TANGLED UP WITH ME - - -AND I LOST MY HEAD OH NO WHAT'S THIS• THE THOUGHT OF ALL THE STUPID THINGS I'VE SAID •Cass didn’t like to see people cry. It was upsetting and not because he was particularly empathetic or anything like that. Crying was messy and not always you had a tissue to do deal with all the tears and the running nose. Whenever people cried around him, Cass liked to pretend it wasn’t happening and just walk away. It’s not like he actually cared for the people who cried around him. A few times he had been the reason for girls crying, being a bit of an asshole and all that but still, he didn’t care much. Things changed whenever his friends cried though. He would rip anyone’s throat off if they made Anouk cry, proof of that was his little fight with Alex. He would literally end anyone’s life if they even dared to think about making Gareth cry, which was why it was probably a good thing that Gareth never mentioned why he was crying the night he called for him to pick him up at the metro. With Aerona it was no different. Even if she didn’t remember, he did, and the time they spent together had been awesome enough for Cass to consider her someone worth protecting and keeping happy. It didn’t matter if she remembered or not, because Cass was sure that if she did remember all those summers she would do exactly the same for him. Maybe she’d even be giving Gareth the ‘wut r ur intentions with mai friend 8|’ treatment whenever she found out they were dating. Cass was pretty sure he’d do the same if Aerona ever started dating someone…
But back to crying Aerona. Cass tilted his head curiously when she laughed and said it was ridiculous. He smiled and tilted his head to the other side, managing to look like a very curious kitten. “Well everything I say is stupid and I still say it.” He was trying to cheer her up a bit, even if the only thing he could do was say silly things like he usually did. Upon listening to her reasons to cry he couldn’t help but let the smile fade a bit. It had been distressing to find out Aerona had been in an accident and it was even worse when Cass learned that she was having some preoccupying sequels. Well at lest it explained why she forgot about him but still…
Well Cass couldn’t cure her. He wouldn’t force her to remember and he didn’t want to say everything would be alright because if she kept having those episodes it clearly meant not everything would be alright; at least not for the time being. Instead Cass smiled again and scooted closer to Aerona, bumping his arm against her and giving her an eyebrow wiggle. “Well you silly girl, that’s obvious. You were here coz you had to meet me.” He said matter-of-factly, as if it wasn’t the blatant lie it was. “See? You even wrote it in your notebook.” He smiled and opened the notebook which was still in Aerona’s possession. “Meet Cass in Tuileriblah blah can’t spell this shit, gardens at… 5 pm.” He said aloud as he wrote the words (and a few random letters and scratches for the word ‘Tuileries’ which Cass couldn’t spell to save his life) with his drawing pencil in his own messy handwriting. “See? Now you know what you’re supposed to do here, as for the ‘how to get home’ issue well duh, you weren’t supposed to go home yet, so you’re not supposed to remember that for the time being.” He winked at Aerona, as if everything was planned and everything was ok. It was one of Cass’ special abilities, along with being a total asshole, to make everything seem less horrible than it really was. “Oh and I also remember you saying something about inviting me some ice cream. Yup, it’s right there see?” He grinned while pointing at the phrase ‘Invite Cass some ice cream’ which he just wrote. “And even if you don’t remember how to get to your place after stuffing our faces with sweets, I can remember that one for you, just this one time.” He lay back on the uncomfortable bench and threw his arms back to rest them behind his neck. A little shrug and a lopsided grin were Cass’ cherry on top to try to cheer Aerona up a little. He knew the problem was bigger than this but well… if he could at least make her smile without crying it would be worth it.
words 758
tagged aerona 
outfit clothes! i'll get an outfit one of these days, I swear.
lyrics gravity by sara bareilles
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
notes CLEEK ME coz that's the smile I picture cass with |
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Post by aerona elen evan on Nov 30, 2011 16:19:38 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] can you get up right now? endevour to freefall?
cause you can fall if you want to, it's just a matter of how far. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - It was so stupid, crying because she couldn’t make her way home. But Aerona felt like a kid, lost and trembling whenever things like this happened and wished she had stayed home without moving there. She will have to make sure to have someone always with her from now on and not wandering around the city on her own. She didn’t want that at all, she was an independent woman it was one of the few things she had discovered about herself; she could properly manage on her own. It also helped the fact that Aerona had no strings attached to her like family and friends to miss because they all felt like strangers to her in the first place and there were no bonds when she left. She was starting anew, but she hadn’t expected this to happen at all, doctors didn’t tell her about this, maybe because they didn’t know themselves. Another reason to visit the hospital but Aerona was sick of them and didn’t want to spend one minute in one of them ever. At least she had someone like Cass to make things look a bit brighter than they were, he never failed making her laugh and she appreciated that. She had been wondering about him since they met, because Cass was one of the few people she wanted to make a real effort to remember. Writing home an email and asking around might help, though she doubted her memory was going to come back at least she will know for sure if they ever met or not. She felt strangely comfortable around him, as if her body could remember how it felt being with him even if her mind couldn’t.
Aerona wouldn’t allow anyone to touch her notebook, but she had the feeling Cass had been somehow an important friend in the past. She finally controlled her tears as she cleaned the last few off her face and contemplated how Cass wrote on her notebook something she was sure never happened. But he was trying to make her feel better and it was working so far. She wrinkled her nose and faked being confused about it. “Well I am sure that is not my handwriting. She finally laughed and got her notebook back from him. Her eyes all puffy and red sting a little as she rubbed them, she was sure her face right now was awful and it was embarrassing to be around him with such a face. She laughed looking back at her notebook where he had wrote all that and shook her head “How can you not know how to write that after two years in Paris?” She said teasing him, learning French had been hard jobs but since her mind was blank it had been easier than for other people. “And where is that written?” She read her notebook again and smiled, he had saved her so who cared? She might as well invite him to a double ice cream. “Okay, if I can find my way to an ice cream shop without getting lost.” It was so pathetic, but it was her reality, at least she had stopped looking like a lost kitty and more like herself. She looked at one side and pointed to the street near where they were sitting. “I think there is one over there.” Not that she knew, she just could read the neon lights from over she was sitting. Getting up she looked down at Cass with a smile and tucked a few strands of hair back on their place, her notebook firmly gripped on her hands. It was the only thing that kept her sane and helped her go through the day.
Aerona had been curious about Cass and their supposed past together, and since he already knew her trouble with her memories… well she might as well go ask him about that and maybe she can even share bits of information about that year back home after the accident. “Cass… I’ve been wondering… where did we meet?” As she walked side by side with him she tried to calm down her mind filling blank spots. Aerona was a curious person, she knew that of her because well, she couldn’t help but wonder about everything and try everything out just to know if she liked it or not. People said curiosity killed the cat but she knew where she could stick her nose into and where she couldn’t. Definitely this was something she could because it was about her past and it was one of those rare occasions she wanted to know about it instead of avoid it.
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Post by ciaran cassidy corbett on Dec 1, 2011 14:35:23 GMT -5
- - - TANGLED UP WITH ME - - -AND I LOST MY HEAD OH NO WHAT'S THIS• THE THOUGHT OF ALL THE STUPID THINGS I'VE SAID •Cass felt pleased when Aerona gave signs of being better now. It was always easy for him to just babble any random idiocy and make people feel better. Sometimes he didn’t even do it on purpose which was one of the many reasons why he had so many friends. Despite being a jerk and being a bit too loud mouthed for his own good, people still found him interesting and appealing. It was a bit double edged though, Cass could be as charming as he could be annoying and he could be insulting the hell out of someone with a charming and cheerful smile. He would never do that to Aerona of course, he saved that to others.
“Well if you can’t remember your way home how can you be so sure you remember your own handwriting?” Cass stuck her tongue at her in a playful way. Making fun of problems was also a good way to start approaching them, or that was his philosophy at least. It was another thing he liked Aerona, even before she lost her awesome memories: she allowed people to help her. Not blat out do things for her, because she was independent, but she didn’t close off and pretended everything was ok. Cass did it, and he knew from personal experience that it wasn’t a good thing. “I can’t write that because I never actually bothered to learn French properly.” He wrinkled his nose at the word ‘French’. The language felt just too complicated for him to even attempt it and most of the times he ended up frustrated and tossing away the French books. “It’s not important anyway, you can get anywhere with a good drawing and sign language. Like, ‘what time is it?’ or ‘Where’s the fucking bathroom?’” He said, pointing at his wrist for the first question and at his crotch for the second one. “That one also counts as ‘wanna fuck?’ though, it’s kinda tricky.” The smile on his face showed he was, again, joking. Glancing at the neon signs Cass’ smile lit up even more and off they went, walking towards the ice cream shop. “Don’t worry. I’m not letting you get lost until we get my ice cream. We’ll see later.” Obviously that was not going to happen. Cass would make sure she’d get home safe and sound but leaving humor out of his sentences was like not breathing for him.
Aerona’s question caught him by surprise. He got the clue when she clearly said she didn’t want to linger in the past and Cass even remembered her saying something about not being able to trust the people back home. Tucking his drawings under his arm he walked across the park boundaries and into the streets while turning to give Aerona a confused look. “I thought we didn’t want to talk about that. Won’t it bring forth an early apocalypse or something like that?” He cracked a small smile before going serious again and returning his gaze to the street. “Weeeeeell…” Cass wondered for a moment what he was supposed to say. He could slip a lot of jokes and stuff in this particular conversation. He could suggest the fact that he and Aerona were totally engaged before she lost her memory, or even that he was joking, that they didn’t know each other but somehow it seemed pointless. While Cass wasn’t anxious and strived for Aerona to remember him, it would be good and sort of nice to have those summer memories and be able to share them with someone. No lies, no jokes this time, he would just try with the truth. “We met one summer, let me see… around… ten years ago? Eleven? Something like that. Our parents spent summer vacations at the same spot every year and one day we bumped into each other and became friends.” Cass shrugged as if it had been the most casual thing ever. “We spent every summer together after that. You even were my older girl summer crush for a few years.” He nudged Aerona’s ribs, and as much as it sounded like a joke it wasn’t. “We never contacted each other once every summer ended though, and then I started packing up and fixing everything to come to Paris so I missed the last summer. Then Paris came and yadda yadda you know the rest.” Cass stopped in front of the green light so the cars could continue their way and once again turned to Aerona. “I don’t mind if you don’t remember though. It’s not the end of the world. Plus we’re only crawling out of teenager years. We’ll have plenty of summers to remember from now on, and you can write those down so you won’t remember.” Cass showed that overly sweet side of his that he reserved for his parents, Gareth and Aerona back in the old days. He was being truthful, why linger in a past that she couldn’t remember when they could create new memories all over again?
words 836
tagged aeronaaa
lyrics gravity by sara bareilles
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
notes i don't even know how this ended up so long xD |
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Post by aerona elen evan on Dec 1, 2011 19:42:16 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] can you get up right now? endevour to freefall?
cause you can fall if you want to, it's just a matter of how far. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Aerona didn’t hate past, she was indifferent to it. She hated people that tried to make her remember things that weren’t going to come back no matter how hard they tried. She allowed people to help her but she didn’t allow them to force her to do things she clearly couldn’t do. Being stuck for a year in physical therapy was hard but he followed every instruction, also she had to learn easy things like to write or even to talk sometimes, but once her body recognized the actions somehow things got easier. Most of the time Aerona would have rather closed off about her memory problem than having everyone gave her the pity look but it was so obvious that she couldn’t hide it at all. She didn’t like to talk about the accident, the nightmares at night, the blurry fragments of memories, those strange voices echoing in her head sometimes when a smell or a picture happened to trigger something in her mind… in fact no one knew those facts, why should them? She shrugged and laughed, feeling much calmer now, not better because it took some time for her to recover from the scare and all the things that came with the episodes but having Cass helped her a great deal. “Maybe because is the only thing I know for sure and it’s all over my notebook.” She said with a smile, she touched her forehead lightly, a headache creeping. She had migraines, very bad ones, and whenever she had one of her episodes they just followed the tears. “Or maybe because I saw you writing it?” She laughed again and shook her head.
Migraines always put her in a very bad mood but this time she relaxed and tried to enjoy Cass’ company which wasn’t very difficult. Throwing her head back she laughed out loud, he could be so graphical sometimes! It was something she loved on him, he was so shameless. “If someone ever asked me that… and in that way… I am sure he would leave with a red cheek.” She didn’t know if she had been ever in love and right now she wasn’t ready for it. Aerona had to figure out her feelings first to be able to feel something so intense for someone else, it was a pity she couldn’t remember if she ever felt something like that, if she ever was with someone and he made her happy, but things were the way they were and she couldn’t do anything about it. “Oh you sneaky guy! Then no ice cream for you!” She smacked his arm playfully as they walked toward the street. Aerona was afraid of cars, they made her feel bad, insecure and it was hell for her to be inside one, crossing a road was easier but whenever a car used the honk she will jump and some weird blurry memories and sounds came rushing to her mind. She tried instead of focusing on Cass’ answers because they were much more interesting. Aerona didn’t avoid past, she just didn’t like people talking to her about it, if she wanted to know she would ask, she didn’t need people reminding her what they used to mean because that wouldn’t change what they mean now. “What I don’t want is people forcing they memories on me, I am naturally curious about the people who surrounds me but they all want to act as if… I remembered them; they expect me to act as if I do.”
While going to that spot she had that car accident, she remembered her mother telling her they spent all summer back in her grandmother’s city and that she used to have a very good friend back there. She lifted her eyes from the street and snickered a bit. “Your summer crush! I bet you were mine too, but I can’t remember.” She was actually one year older than Cass but she felt younger, maybe it was because losing her memories threw her into a state she couldn’t define, there were so many things she wanted to know and try, Aerona was much like a lost child. She frowned, indeed she knew the rest, she went to that spot like every other year and had the accident on the way, spent three months on coma and forgot everything and everyone in her life, including those people who were worth remembering, like Cass. Knowing this she felt more comfortable around him, whenever she met someone from her past she will be on the watch, wary of the way that person might act toward her, but from the very start he never put any pressure on her, he acted like a friend and now he was there when she needed him. “My mom talked to me about you, well she couldn’t remember your name but she said I used to hang a lot with a guy ‘whose manners needed improvement and was a bad influence’ but she said I was very happy to see you every summer.” She smiled back at him finally reaching the ice cream place and opening the door to the warm interior, was it weird to eat ice cream during winter? But right now she didn’t care. “You are right, we do. Now to more important matters, which flavor do you think I’ll like more?”
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Post by ciaran cassidy corbett on Dec 2, 2011 16:06:48 GMT -5
- - - TANGLED UP WITH ME - - -AND I LOST MY HEAD OH NO WHAT'S THIS• THE THOUGHT OF ALL THE STUPID THINGS I'VE SAID •Oh Garbear would sooooo not approve of this. Cass adored Gareth, he loved him with every bit of his self but sometimes he couldn’t understand him at all. Cass knew he had a possessive side to him (with Cass adored by the way) but he wasn’t always sure when that side would strike. Like, would he be ok with him hanging around Aerona so much? Aerona was an old friend… well sort of old friend, more like very complicated old friend who couldn’t exactly remember him BUT, still an old friend. It was just like with Sasha. Cass could have Aerona and Gareth had Sasha, right? Somehow it all made sense in Cass’ head, but most of the times what made sense in his head didn’t make sense in Gareth’s. Cass wasn’t a jealous person, he was possessive like Gareth and ok, he WAS jealous but only when he saw good and straight proof of shady stuff going on between his boyfriend and someone and so far it hadn’t happened. Gareth got jealous of Anouk though, and he got protective and possessive in other circumstances so he didn’t know how he’d react to the whole Aerona thing… well… better not mention it then… for now at least.
Aerona’s explanation was more or less what Cass suspected. He wouldn’t want anyone shoving their memories on him and trying to make them his own. That was bullshit. No wonder she fled to Paris. Still, the mood was lighter and a joke or two wouldn’t hurt anyone. Looking down at her Cass faked an offended face complete with a hand on his chest. “Well to be honest I was appalled that you didn’t remember me! I mean, I’m unforgettable!” He snickered and began walking across the street with her once the cars halted. “And I so was your summer crush. There’s no way I couldn’t be. I mean, have you seen my adorable face and baby blue eyes? No girl or guy can resist the Cass brand charm.” There was a little bit of super massive Cass branded ego in that sentence, even if it was also a little bit of a joke. In fact, he did remember feeling a little something for Aerona, but despite the fact that Cass was the type of guy to go for the girls in a straight forward way he never did so with Aerona. In a sense it was better to keep it as a summer thing, something they would be able to remember when they grew old and wrinkly. Well, now Cass would be the only one doing the remembering.
The ice cream shop was a lot more deserted than it would’ve been in summer. There were only a couple enjoying a shared banana split and a couple kids begging their mother for a treat. Cass was a lot like those kids, there was no bad time for ice cream. It could be raining, freezing, or the would could be ending and he’d still stop and buy some ice cream. “Oh yeah… I remember your mom…” He looked up at the display showing the various flavors. “She even chased me away with a tennis racket when I went to kidnap you when you had this ‘family tennis tournament’ or some shit like that.” He snickered at the memory, wishing Aerona would be able to share it as well. Too bad she couldn’t, but it wasn’t all too bad anyway. “She called me all sorts of names, like ‘bad seed’ and ‘spawn of the devil’ and I particularly remember ‘harbinger of disaster’. That one came up when we set a golf cart on fire. I’m really surprised she didn’t try to omit me from your memories! She didn’t like me much haha!” Oh the memories… they were indeed so precious but even so Cass refused to feel sorry for Aerona. Memories were just that; you could have fun with them every now and then but living of them and basing your life on them wasn’t what Cass had been taught. “We’ll burn another golf cart so you’ll be able to remember that one.” He added as a side comment, because that was the whole point of moving on, creating more memories and letting them go for new ones. It was a cycle! Very Mufasa!
“Well, Miss Evan, you always seemed to me like a vanilla girl but you proved me wrong a few years ago. You don’t like vanilla that much in ice cream flavor by the way. You are actually a girl with exotic tastes. How about that ‘mango berry swirl’ thing, or hey! ‘Chocolate Therapy’! Sounds classic and chocolaty but you know, we all need some therapy every now and then and what’s better than chocolate to provide?” There were just too many flavors to choose from, and Cass was glad to say he had tried them all at least once. “How about I invite you this time, and we get a bucket full of many flavors so you can try and pick the one you like? That way, next time you invite me you’ll know what to buy?” He latched his arm with Aerona’s and rested his head on top of her shorter one, still looking up at the various flavors.
It had been a very lucky strike he found Aerona lost in the gardens, otherwise she probably would’ve been in deeper shit. Cass had no idea how it felt to be lost or scared but he could imagine it, and it wasn’t something he didn’t wish for one of his friends. It was rare for Cass to be this nice and sweet, he was usually slipping dirty innuendos and stuff that made people pissed at him but it was just proof that he was still that nice country boy who could be gentle if he wanted to. “That ‘Karamel Sutra’ thing sounds so kinky though, maybe we should try that.” He snickered, and there it was, the dirty innuendo. Oh well, at least he was still nice.
words 1005 wtf >.>
tagged aerona!
lyrics gravity by sara bareilles
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
notes wtf word count xD AND DOWN THE MEMORY LANE, even if Aerona doesn't remember that particular lane xD |
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Post by aerona elen evan on Dec 3, 2011 14:35:36 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] can you get up right now? endevour to freefall?
cause you can fall if you want to, it's just a matter of how far. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Aerona had no one who cared about her, no one who would get jealous or protective over her. The closer thing she had to that was Marcus and she didn’t like to burden him with her problems all the time, he did enough for her. It was sort of sad that her life was so empty of meaningful people, even though with time she was making friends she had lost her family, her friends… everything. She had no life, no past and her future was uncertain. When people looked at the future and it seemed uncertain they looked at past because it was the only thing sure in their lives, well Aerona didn’t have that at all, she didn’t have a past or people around her she could rely on. Cass though was surrounded by people who loved him, with their good things and their bad traits but he still had something she envied, and that made her feel empty. She was happy she couldn’t remember the accident and tried to get over the fact she had no memories of her past with as much humor as possible, but on days like this when reality hit her in such a cruel way it was almost impossible to be optimistic. Luckily for Aerona she had someone to be optimistic for her and make her happy. Cass was a bit childish and absolutely shameless, he was cheeky and funny to be around, he was sweet and it was obvious that he cared about her because he was helping her out. Laughing she playfully smacked his arm. “Oh well maybe you are not my type, who knows?” She could see herself having a summer crush on him, absolutely, because she felt that warmth feeling on her chest of that friendship they had.
Her body remembered Cass even if her mind couldn’t. This kind of triggered something in her mind, as if it wanted to remember something but couldn’t. She wanted to, she wanted to have those memories back, that person back in her life and she wanted to know why she was feeling so comfortable with him and why her body seemed to remember those feelings. They were more or less the same she felt toward Marcus, who had become sort of a brotherly figure for her, but it was something else with Cass… it wasn’t just like a brother but… like a best friend, someone you could do the most wicked and evil things with and trust with your deepest secrets. And Aerona had some secrets, all of them related to the seriousness of her messed up mind. Looking at the names of the ice creams in display she laughed as she listened to the stories Cass was telling her, about their past and her mother calling him all sort of names. Her jaw fall when she heard about setting a gold cart on fire, had been that really her? Was she so mischievous back then? Well she was sure Cass could charm a snake so it wasn’t all that surprising. “We set a golf cart on fire?” Aerona laughed out loud, clearly surprised, well sure those were funny memories, it was horrible she couldn’t remember then, not for him but for herself, she wanted those memories back. “No wonder my mom hated you so much! You were a really bad influence on me! Or was it me the bad influence on you?” Since she didn’t know how she was yet maybe in the past she had been as mischievous as he was, she could imagine herself doing that.
She looked at the names, her eyes glittering like a five years old kid, so far she had tried the simple flavors but to be honest she had more things to try than ice cream so she hadn’t investigated further on them. “I don’t like vanilla? Then now I understand why my body always seemed to skip that.” Her body had routines, things it did for no reason or so she though, and reactions she couldn’t predict. She looked up at him and laughed, doubting she would be able to eat so much ice cream though when especially hungry she ate a lot. She looked up at him and shook her head. “No no, I can treat you, I have enough money with me and this is for researching purposes!” Brad took her to discover things she liked and disliked, also Marcus liked to treat her for the same purpose, and it was like some sort of a game, what would she like? Some things brought back fragments of memories, feelings, voices… some of them were completely new and foreign to her. In other circumstances she would have slipped away from the touch, she liked to keep some distance with people, feel uncomfortable when someone she didn’t know touched her but with Cass seemed natural and she didn’t feel uncomfortable, as if they were used to touch each other and it was something normal between them. “If it’s kinky then I like it.” She said laughing. “How about we take that bucket of flavors and a medium one of Karamel Sutra? Though the bucket is going to get all of it mixed and I doubt that will taste good.” She couldn’t know that though, because she had never tried being kinky with anyone and the closest thing she had felt to like someone had been a slight feeling of lush toward Brad, but he was a gorgeous man and took her on a date so it was obvious she would felt attracted to him even if it was for a bit. That reminded her of something. “Do you have time to spend with me? I mean, don’t you have someone waiting for you?” Cass had a boyfriend and friends he could have plans with, the fact that she was practically alone in the world didn’t mean he was and she didn’t want to get in the way of his previous plans just because she was in such a pitiful state.
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Post by ciaran cassidy corbett on Dec 26, 2011 19:28:45 GMT -5
- - - TANGLED UP WITH ME - - -AND I LOST MY HEAD OH NO WHAT'S THIS• THE THOUGHT OF ALL THE STUPID THINGS I'VE SAID •Being an optimist came awfully easy for Cass. People wondered how in the world he managed to stay happy almost 24/7. In his defense, he wasn’t happy the entire time. You’d have to be some weird junkie in order to stay happy forever but Cass did try to see the bright side of things when most people felt it prudent to give up. Guess it was just one of those hidden good traits that he kept around. Cass never questioned why he had so many friends, or even why his professors refused to give up on him when he was obviously not trying hard enough. No one had really pointed out to Cass that he held this strange positive energy that drew people close and he never really have it a thought. He was just the way he liked to be, the way he was supposed to be and the way his family raised him to be. Being a total goof with the ego of a planetary system had its advantages every now and then. Not only Cass was usually filled with good energy but he also tried to transmit it others, hence the reason why he tried to cheer Aerona up instead of letting her have her downward fall. It was also another reason why he so intently followed Gareth around before realizing that he actually felt something else for the photographer. Something about them just made Cass want to make them happy, and he tried, he really tried.
Hearing Aerona laugh was refreshing, as if his attempts hadn’t been in vain. This pleased Cass greatly and even the highly selfish part of his mind felt good about it, it didn’t matter that listening to Aerona feeling better didn’t bring any type of personal gain. “Why yes, we set a golf cart on fire. Should I stop there or want to know the other things we set on fire? You’re such a dangerous pyro! Almost unbelievable that psychopath mind if yours could get fixed with a bop in the head!” He playfully joked again. He would’ve noticed if Aerona was a pyromaniac, but no, she wasn’t. “Nah, it was an accident… well a quotation marks, accident, end quotations.” He laughed while gesturing the quotations with his fingers in the air. “There were other few things on fire while we were around but you know… no one could prove anything.” He winked at Aerona in a mischievous way before returning his attention again to the ice cream flavors. “No bad influences though, we were the perfect influences for each other.” [The smile in his face clearly indicated that he was again remembering things that most likely Aerona would never remember.
“Alright! So bucket of flavors and karamel sutra… uh… how do you ask for an ice cream in French?” He glanced at Aerona before turning back to the counter. “Ummmmh… le bucket of le ice cream… s'il vous plait?” Oh his French sucked so bad… good thing the woman behind the counter giggled and nodded, thank to the lord she spoke English as well. “Don’t worry, it won’t melt in this freezing weather, plus we can stay in here until you remember where is your place or I decide to kidnap you and take you to mine.” He again grinned at Aerona as he extended his hands and received the ice cream goodyness from the woman. Motioning for Aerona to take a seat on one of the pretty tables he tilted his head in a slightly confused manner. “Of course I have time to spend it with you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.” His logic seemed flawless on the surface but of course there was the possibility of him having something important to do. “I’m not meeting Gareth until later tonight so… I have all the afternoon for us. Is that what you meant?” Cass tilted his head to the other side, curious to know if Aerona meant he didn’t have to meet up with Gareth today. He didn’t exactly want to explain to his boyfriend that he had spent the entire afternoon with Aerona in case Gareth might start getting those insecure creepy ideas again. Taking one of the colorful spoons provided he dug it on the bucket of flavors and stuck it inside his mouth. “Ugh, brain freeze! I love that feeling.” He snickered and went for the other flavor this time. “But yeah… we can stay here all day long and even the night if they don’t kick us out. I’m sure Garbear will understand.” His smile was reassuring and without a tint of doubt but to be honest, he didn’t know if Gareth would really understand. For his sake and the sake of the very first healthy relationship he had ever had in his entire life… he hoped he did.
words 806
tagged aeronaaa
lyrics gravity by sara bareilles
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
notes it's like... fodder for gossip xD |
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Post by aerona elen evan on Dec 28, 2011 18:38:29 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] can you get up right now? endevour to freefall?
cause you can fall if you want to, it's just a matter of how far. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - After everything that happened to her in life Aerona keep being a fairly positive person, well, what she did was go with the flow of her emotions, if she felt happy she smiled and was happy, if she felt like crying she simply did so. Still she tried to keep on the happy side so she didn’t sat sulking for long, once Cass was there to cheer up it was useless to keep crying and feel down, the fear was slowly vanishing and she felt more relaxed and safe. He was one of the few persons she felt comfortable around; though Aerona tended to be a very curious girl she was always wary of the people surrounding her. She was very curious and tended to ask everything and try everything, it was that childish side of her that woke up with the lost of her memory. Usually she avoided everything that had to do with the past and her old memories, those who were vanished completely of her mind, but there she was hearing things from her past, memories that were making her laugh and that weren’t imposed to her, just… shared. “For real?” She let out a big laugh, well, that didn’t ring any bell in her mind or personality, she couldn’t say it was something she would do because she truly didn’t know.
“I think I would have know if I had a tendency for setting things on fire.” She said laughing. “I can’t believe that! How many things we set on fire exactly? Was I that much fun to be around?” That last question was said with some sort of sadness, she was very different now or so she thought. She had lost that side of her along with the memories and she had lost a friend, well not exactly lost because he was sitting in front of her now but it wasn’t the same. That made her wonder other things she had lost, other friends, other sides of her… but she didn’t have time to be sad at all, and she wasn’t going to allow that sadness ruin her afternoon. “I can’t be much of an influence right now, you will have to be the influence this time.” She said winking back. Aerona was building a life for herself, she felt homeless without a past so she was decided to have some future, not one based on past memories or lack of them but one based on the experiences she was having now. The best side of this all was doing everything for the first time, trying and tasting things for the first time not knowing at all what to expect, it made things exciting and different.
She giggled placing her hand in her mouth to muffle the sound and shook her head. “Someone needs some French lessons.” She followed his nod and sat there, still worried about him getting into trouble for not being where he was supposed to. “So apart from stalker you are also a kidnaper? Useful information.” Taking a plastic spoon she proceeded to dig on the ice cream not knowing what to expect and enjoying the feeling of excitation and mystery. It wasn’t bad at all, in fact she loved the taste, it was great, a bit cold but amazing. She was sure her face would be showing something but she didn’t exactly know what because she wasn’t even sure of how she was feeling. “This stuff is great!” She took another mouthful of it and thought about the answer. “Well not exactly, what I meant is that I don’t want to get in the middle if you have something to do just because you can’t be sure I’ll find my way home.” She frowned not liking the suggestion, getting in the middle of a couple wasn’t what she wanted, and even if the guy understood it wasn’t the right thing to do, she wasn’t that helpless. Aerona titled her body and fished for her mobile once again, this time more successfully than the latter. “I’ll call Marcus to pick me up when we are done, he will take me to mine.”
Aerona turned to him, smile on her face and ready to attack the ice cream again. “Now tell me, how come you always managed to get me doing those things back then? And what more bad things did we do during our summers?” She wasn’t sure if she had mentioned him or not that the accident happened while going there, her parents stopped visiting after that not wanting to drive past the place where everything happened and usually skillfully avoided her questions about it all. She could only imagine the excitement of another summer with her friend, and she could only imagine how he should felt when she never showed up.
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Post by ciaran cassidy corbett on Jan 2, 2012 13:26:55 GMT -5
- - - TANGLED UP WITH ME - - -AND I LOST MY HEAD OH NO WHAT'S THIS• THE THOUGHT OF ALL THE STUPID THINGS I'VE SAID •One of the main reasons why Cass got along so well with Aerona in the past was because they were similar. Not in the childish way Cass was, Aerona was never that way, but she was simply one of those people who didn’t spend life fighting against one thing or the other, and Cass with his very laid back personality found it easy to click in with her. She also didn’t judge when he felt like whining like a child or messing around with people. Instead, she joined in and they were the best pair ever during those precious summers. Aerona had been some sort of best friend to him; someone he wanted to keep safe and someone he was willing to go a certain extent to keep in his life. It was strange for Cass to say something like that about people, and hard to believe since Cass never quite asked for Aerona’s number or address when they parted to live outside their perfect summer world. But she just was and now that she was back in his life, she would continue being.
“Really now?” Cass pondered for a moment, or more like fake pondered as he stuck another spoonful of ice cream inside his mouth. “Maybe I was the pyro and I just rubbed it on ya. Could be.” Cass’s words sounded a little weird with the ice cream inside his mouth and his tongue going numb from the cold. “There was also a bird house on fire, your mother’s shoes… but don’t worry they were horrible shoes. I actually think she was thankful for that one. Let’s see… there was also one of those little sailboats, you know the remote controlled ones? We stuffed it with a little bomb I got from a shady internet place and then detonated it in the middle of the sailboat career that they held on the lake every year. It was revenge for not getting the first place.” Cass snorted again, remembering the faces of all those rich kids who paid thousands of bucks for their handmade boats only to see them sink when Cass’ and Aerona’s boat exploded next to theirs. “What are you talking about? You’re still loads of fun to be around. I wouldn’t be here if you were a bore. In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t tend to keep boring people around me.” Cass wrinkled his nose in an amused way and continued with the ice cream.
True, Aerona wasn’t the same girl from back then who contributed to his mad ideas and went wild in the middle of the night with him as they ran around the streets pretending to be burglars and setting off everyone’s house alarms. But Cass knew that Aerona was still there, and he didn’t even have to dig to get her out, she would come out by herself eventually. There was a reason why he befriended her then and why he befriended her now. It didn’t matter that she couldn’t remember, Cass knew that they would still continue being close. And this precise thought is what made him reach over and snatch the phone off her hands. “Nuh-uh. I told you I’m staying with you and taking you to your place.” He left the phone on the table, but still ready to snatch it if Aerona made any other attempt. “Who’s this Marcus anyway? New boyfriend I should be interrogating?” The playful tone Cass spoke in was indeed, playful, but also with a tone of seriousness. He couldn’t help but mistrust anyone who got close to the people he loved… he was just freaky like that. It was still said in a joke~ish tone so Aerona could take it any way she wanted to.
As for her curiosity, it made Cass smile again in an almost devious way. “Are you sure you want to know? Some things weren’t even legal, maybe you’re better off not remembering in case we get caught one of these days.” It was hard to tell if this one was a joke or not, but knowing Cass it probably wasn’t. Cass always acted like a good son and a good kid in front of his parents, albeit with a tendency to get low grades but still a good kid. Not even his parents knew what the hell he did whenever he escaped with Aerona but since she had a ‘good girl’ face they never thought of anything wrong. The only one who really knew just what type of trouble he and his friend got into was probably Aerona’s mother. No wonder the lady disliked him so much.
words 771
tagged aeronaaa
lyrics gravity by sara bareilles
template PANIC! ITS LAUZ @ CAUTION
notes omnomnom ice cream! |
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Post by aerona elen evan on Jan 3, 2012 12:19:12 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style,padding-left:16px; padding-top:0px; padding-right:0px; padding-bottom:0px; background-image:url(http://i51.tinypic.com/2nbr3oi.jpg) ] can you get up right now? endevour to freefall?
cause you can fall if you want to, it's just a matter of how far. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Looking back at everything made her think about how much that accident really changed her or if she kept something of her old her still inside. Aerona tried to not think of what she lost but what she ahead of her to make but sometimes it was impossible not to look back and listen to those stories you would love to remember. She wanted to run away from her past, well from what people thought she should remember of her past, but it seemed her past was everywhere even if she couldn’t remember her, it haunted her day and night. Somehow Aerona knew she was still the same person, that everything Cass was saying about her was still there somewhere inside her and that it will all come naturally and she felt some of it coming as she talked to him, she was laughing freely and she wasn’t as wary as she was with the rest of the people. “Who knows? Maybe I am lying to you and I do have a thing for setting things on fire.” She winked at him and listened as he listed all the things that were on fire around them. Tears rolled down her face as she laughed and hold her stomach, really now she could understand why her mother never wanted her to hang around hi, they were quite the dangerous pair.
“I think my mom will hold that against you forever, even if they were ugly.” she remembered the way her mother wrinkled her nose whenever the topic of him came up, she never wanted to tell her the name in case she went to hunt him down or something but it hadn’t been necessary, it was as if destiny wanted them to still be best friends, as it wanted to give her one of the best parts of her past back to her somehow. She cleaned the tears from her face with the sleeve of her jacket trying to calm down and breathe normally, her stomach hurting for so much laughing. “Sweet revenge huh? Well they deserved it just right if we didn’t win, I best we were the best and they just cheated to win.” Aerona wished she could be the same girl she was back then, and that instead of having those awful nightmares at night she could remember those good things. Apart from memory loses there were other side effects to her accident, migraines and one she never ever told people, she became afraid of sleeping because of the nightmares and weird dreams which meant she tried to sleep as less as she could driving her body to the edge.
She shook her head and smiled at him but didn’t answer, taking another mouthful of her ice cream. She knew she wasn’t the same girl and she had experimented back home the disappointment and the annoyance of the people around her when she couldn’t remember or act a certain way she used to be. The sentence ‘you used to be different’ had been one she didn’t stop hearing in the past year back home and Cass who knew her from the past could say it too at some point and that scared her. She looked at him surprised when he snatched the phone from her hands and laughed, shaking her head. “Okay, okay, no need to attack me.” She said her hands up in a surrendering manner. “Don’t you know Marcus? Well maybe you know him by Proffesor Sylvestre though he teaches photography.” Aerona had followed him around being loud and childish just for the pleasure of teasing him because he was taken as a very serious man but she had discovered otherwise and since they started to get along he had become some sort of a brother for her. “He is like a brother to me, takes care of me when I suffer one of my episodes, allows me to stay over at his when I… fell lonely… He even took me to Disneyland.”
She raised an eyebrow taking more ice cream in her mouth faking to be thinking an answer. What she really wanted to do was to revive those old days, to have those memories but not back, not the old ones, but new ones built by her in her new life, something that was really hers. “If they weren’t legal then I want to know it even more, the worst they were the better.” Little by little she started to feel like she was that girl Cass was talking about, before it seemed like he was talking about someone else, absolutely foreign to her and that had nothing to do with her, but now it was different, she could really imagine it all and Aerona liked that feeling, as if she was starting to discover who she was even if it was just a small portion.
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