rest for the wicked [heloise]

[simeon bradley parker]

Simeon woke up slowly that morning. His mind was foggy, a sure sign that he had been drinking the night before. Used to the circumstances, he didn't move or open his eyes. The curtains were drawn in his room, so it wouldn't be blindingly bright when he eventually got to having a look around. Simeon rolled onto his back, noticing from the way the mattress and sheets moved that he had company. There was one mystery solved right away. He turned his head to the side to see who he'd come home with the night before.

He recognized her right away. How could he not know that face, serene in sleep and with strands of hair half covering it? The realization hit his mind instantly, but his expression was slower to register his surprise. He inhaled sharply before stretching it out into a deep breath. He turned his head again to look straight up at the ceiling and brought his hands to his face. Rubbing his eyes, he muttered, ”What the fuck did I do?” Heloise was still sleeping, so he kept his voice low. Moving his hands so that his fingers interlaced behind his head, he methodically went through his memories, trying to piece together the events that had led up to this.

He'd never minded the slow thought processes of a hangover before, but on this morning it was the most infuriating thing in the world. What was even more frustrating was that even after he felt like he'd sorted through everything he was still left wondering. Without the liberating effects of alcohol it was harder to accept his motivations of the night before. What was even more difficult was tying to understand how exactly he was feeling right now. His expression was blank; he was utterly motionless. His mind, though, was a chaotic jumble. The strongest emotion, one that he was having trouble identifying, was guilt. Their bizarre relationship was broken. Beyond repair. And he had fucked it up. And Heloise would blame him. Because they had both been drunk, and he had been the one to act on his impulses first. He wasn't going to bother denying it to himself: he had feelings for her. Strong feelings. He could lie to the rest of the world, but he was done lying to himself. How could he have let this happen!? He was the guy who didn't care about anyone! When had that changed!? What had made him so blind to it?

It didn't matter, though. None of it mattered. He had acted rashly and there would be consequences, which he was prepared to deal with. Heloise could react in any number of ways, but he doubted that any of them would be positive. He hated to lose the constant arguing and banter that they had going, but he was pretty sure sex was a point of no return. What would happen after this was hard to say. A saying ran through his mind then, sounding painfully sarcastic. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Not this fucking close. Besides, Heloise didn't count as an enemy. Nor a friend. His expression darkened; there was no describing the… unique nature of their relationship. It didn't look nice, but it had been a safe way to be around Hel, or so he had thought.

Tilting his head, Simeon scanned as much of his bedroom as he could. His entire apartment shared one distinctive quality, one that was not immediately noticeable but once detected was impossible to ignore. The place always looked as if he had either just move in or was just about to move out. It resembled a hotel room in that there were no personal mementos laying around, no decorations. There were no photographs on the walls or resting on any surfaces, no souvenirs with whimsical stories describing their acquisition. He even kept a suitcase in one corner of his room, always open, as if he was just getting ready to pack up and go. He had lived here for roughly two years and had yet to personalize the space in any way. He didn't have a lot of stuff by any estimation, his entire life fitting neatly into two duffel bags. The place was haphazardly organized, but clean. There wasn't much stuff to clutter the place up, so the lack of organization didn't stand out. It revealed nothing about the person he was, nothing about his family or his past. A trail of clothing led up to the queen bed, but otherwise the floor was clear. Heavy curtains were pulled over the single window, but daylight could be seen as a thin outline surrounding them. The door to the bathroom was shut, but the door to the rest of the apartment was slightly ajar. He could see daylight pouring into his living room through the crack. It would be a comfortable place, if not for the current circumstances.

Returning his gaze to his plain white ceiling, Simeon settled down to wait for Heloise to wake up and see what would happen from there. If this hadn't been his home, he would have simple left the second he came to his senses. As it was, it would be far more awkward to leave than it would be to stay. Where would he go, anyway? Grappling with new emotions was exhausting for his muddled brain, but he kept at it. He had been so stupid to imagine that it was all meaningless and that it would go away in the morning. Here he was, the next morning, suck firmly in a hole he had dug for himself. Heloise hadn't even been his friend but the thought of losing contact with her pained him. That pain led to anger, directly wholly at himself, for having such a weakness. Surprisingly, he felt no ill-will toward Heloise. He could delude himself into imagining that she had felt the same way as he had, but that was ridiculous. She had simply been drunk, and perhaps other things had been weighing on her mind last night. Simeon had been available and more than willing to continue the charade. For a very brief second hope flickered, suggesting that it wasn't a charade, that they had both been completely sincere the night before. But again his cynical nature crushed that hope before it could even form into a solid thought.

Simeon wanted her to wake up so that they could get this over with. At the same time, he wanted her to stay asleep to give him time to figure out what to do. How to act. He compromised by not doing anything at all. He had remained motionless, not disturbing the bed at all, and silent apart from that first expression of alarm. Come what may, he knew that he could trust his resilience to bounce him right back. There were no foreseeable happy endings, and more than twenty different unhappy ones. In any case, he was going to lose whatever he had with her.

[heloise victorine soucy]

Heloise wasn’t much of a morning person plus the fact that she was going to have the worst hangover on a long time and you will have the perfect combination of a very dangerous creature ready to snap at whoever dared to cross her path. But right now she was feeling strangely comfortable in that bed with a smell that wasn’t hers and her brain couldn’t quite place right at the moment, she knew she wasn’t at her house, that was a fact, but her brain was dumb from the sleep and she still wasn’t ready to wake up. Heloise was half asleep when weird images of the night before started to fill her mind; she went partying, she drank and then she bumped into… Simeon. Once his name popped into her mind all that happened last night came rushing into her head, all she needed to finally wake up; and not in a very good mood. She didn’t open her eyes, not wanting to see his face one little bit, as she was sure she will, wishing it was all a dream and that it never happened. But Heloise knew better than to believe it herself and she had been very naïve believing feelings and everything would be gone the next day, because they were obviously still there tugging at the back of her mind fighting to break through. Heloise had no feelings; she couldn’t believe she had let her guard down in such a way around him because of feelings that were non-existent. But they were clearly there she just refused to let them in. How was she supposed to deal with all this now, she had no idea, the night before everything seemed simple, easy and Heloise had been sure she could deal with this, but it had been alcohol giving her fake confidence.

No, Heloise was very confident of her abilities hunting those feelings down and locking there where they belonged, deep down in some dark corner. By the way the sheets moved she guessed Simeon was awake too, and she still couldn’t decide wherever she should just left without a word or pick a fight. She had some things she could use against him, but it worked the other way around. Heloise needed her wall up and ready, the feelings locked and vanished before she could even think of facing him. She could lie to him, make him believe it had been alcohol talking, make him believe this wouldn’t hurt her one little bit, that the girl he met wasn’t her at all but deep inside her Heloise knew it was all a lie. Would it hurt her showing another side around him? It didn’t seem to hurt the night before; he seemed to like that new facet of her as different as it was from her usual self; just as much as she had enjoyed discovering that side of him. But it had been alcohol all along, prompting them to act a way they weren’t used to toward each other, making them vulnerable and weak. She could use this against him… but she couldn’t bring herself in the end to do so. Right now there were more urgent matters to take care of though, like the fact whatever relationship they had together was definitely broken beyond repair. Heloise couldn’t be her usual cold bitchy self around him, or try to bring him down anymore so she had to avoid him and those damn feelings were hard to get rid of. What annoyed Heloise the most was that she had allowed him in; she had allowed those feelings in and encouraged them.

She couldn’t very well keep things like this, she had to open her eyes and face this. She had to, there was no other way around it. How she would deal with this was something she didn’t even know. Heloise tried to search inside her some feeling of regret for what she did with him and was surprised when she found none. She didn’t regret sleeping with him, in fact there was some pleasant feeling she had been trying to suppress all this time, her mind now giving her the hint that he too had enjoyed this and that maybe there was another way out. Which was the only way she didn’t want to go. Two options, two completely different paths, she either allowed those feelings to take over and see what happened, allowing him in for good or she closed herself out, avoided him like the plague and waited for those feelings to be killed by her cold nature. Being who she was the second path was the easier and the one fitting her nature best, but surprisingly doing what she had always done was more painful than she had expected and the only idea of not seeing him anymore made her cringe. Sighing, she slowly opened her eyes and there he was. Slowly getting up she looked around, the bedroom lacked of personal objects, so impersonal, it just suited him, well the side of him she was used to. She finally looked at his face, bracing herself for what was about to happen. Better to get this over quickly than suffer, that second option was not an option at all. Heloise was a cold hearted bitch with no feelings that only cared about herself and that was the way it was going to be.

“This never happened. You and me never happened. I wasn’t being myself yesterday, don’t get the wrong idea.” There, said and done, and what was about to come was even more painful, she will have to hurt him in order for him to stay away from her, to make sure he wouldn’t cross her path so she wouldn’t be at risk of having those feelings again. It was easier keeping people at arm’s length than letting them in because this kind of things happened. “That was me being drunk. I’ll pick my things, walk through the door and you and me won’t ever cross paths again.” Heloise knew she had to break this, but obviously she hadn’t get around the idea herself.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 1025

[simeon bradley parker]

Maybe it was the complete silence in the room. Maybe it was the level of attention he was directing toward Heloise at the moment. Whatever it was, he noticed the instant she woke up. Slight movement, slight shift in breathing, nameless and indescribable vibes... He also noticed that she didn't get up right away. Obviously she was trying to process this the same way he had. He left her to it, not turning his head to look at her. He continued gazing up at the ceiling, waiting with a surprising amount of patience for her to make a move. That he was deferring to her was unusual for him, but due to current circumstances it made sense. The truth was, he was worried about how she was going to react. He kept his features schooled to cold detachment, but he wanted to... well, he wanted to do a lot of things. Roll onto his side, push her hair back behind her ear, and kiss her. If he was being as uninhibited as he had been the night before, that was probably the first thing he'd do. From there it would probably escalate... Simeon closed his eyes, took a deep breath, then opened them again.

When Simeon was feeling uncertain or jeopardized, he shut down. He presented a flawlessly cold exterior, and hid absolutely every trace of honest emotion under layer after layer of sarcasm. Simeon was seldom sincere, but he acted on impulse often. A particularly shrewd observer might notice the difference between his usual reckless carelessness and the controlled, calculated detachment he presented when he felt compromised. It signaled a breach in his security; it showed that something had managed to tap into his deep emotions, the ones he associated with weakness. It didn't happen often, though, making it that must more difficult to detect. Heloise would not see any pain or regret on his face. She simply had not had the privilege of seeing him in that state before, so there was nothing to see but cruel mockery.

He finally looked at her when she got up, his eyes staying on her face as she looked around his room. He mentally braced himself for whatever she might say, already detecting the coldness in her eyes. When she finished, all he wanted to say was, ”right.” He bit it back before it could materialize, letting her finish. Yeah, right. Last night he'd been just as drunk as she had. No, more. She had been acting on the alcohol only as much as he had, which was to say: barely. He knew what she was doing by making it meaningless and then running away, though. He could understand it, and he could even respect it. That didn't mean that he didn't feel a flicker of sadness that she had chosen to go this way. Still, he wasn't completely convinced that this wasn't the right thing to do. Pretend nothing had happened. Then she would be completely lost to him. He had realized immediately that this wouldn't end nicely. Well, Heloise had played her pieces, now it was Simeon's turn.

He started by turning his eyes back up toward the ceiling, not acknowledging anything she said. Still taring straight up, he started talking in a nonchalant voice. ”Did you read Hedda Gabler, by Ibsen? At the end, when someone reveals he has something to hold over her head and blackmail her with, Hedda marches into the next room and shoots herself in the temple.” He lowered his arms and sat up slowly, a sardonic smirk playing across his features. ”Charming story, really.” He got to his feet, searching the floor for his discarded pair of jeans. Finding them, he stooped and pulled them on. As he straightened, he tossed the nearest article of female clothing, a dress, to her. He wasn't planning on moving, so that effectively saved her from having to venture into his space. Not that he would object to that. Still, Heloise seemed to be in control. He didn't want to see her snap at him. He was too hungover to want to deal with anything too shrill.

Maintaining his coldy taunting facade, Simeon glanced at the door. She wanted to play it like it was meaningless, she wanted to break off all contact. ”It's a shame it all has to end so suddenly. I really was looking forward to seeing you fall to pieces. I guess we'll never know how that turns out.” There was an unbelievable amount of mockery in his tone, the words losing all of their former good humor. Simeon knew he couldn't use any of this against her even if he wanted to, and he imagined she was facing the same dilemma. They were stalled and each was too stubborn to admit to anything first. ”Not even a goodbye kiss? You always were a cold one.” He was making it unquestionably clear that he would not suffer from the loss of her company. He needed to be as unshakeable as ever. That was who he was. Simeon was not easily damaged. He was used to unhappiness, and whatever he may have been feeling at that moment had been crushed with the concentration he was using to maintain his front. Besides, this was all just proving him right. Affection was weakness, and it always led to pain.

[heloise victorine soucy]

If Simeon hadn't answer that way her resolution might have faltered, she might have changed her mind and told him the truth. But what was the truth anyway? That she had feelings for him? That last night wasn’t a lie? The ice princess capable of something like that? Heloise knew better than doing so, she was strong and his answer made it easier to go back to herself. “As charming as you.” She said but this time there was no compliment in her words; it was a threat, simple and clear. Obviously she wasn't going to shot herself for doing such mistake, if he had something against her she had it ten times worst. Her headache only added fuel to the situation, and this was the man she had considered telling she had feelings for? Right, let the murdered in your house and give him the weapon also. Heloise wasn't that stupid; this was her way of protecting herself and in a way of protecting both him and what they had if there was something left behind. “I must say I am impressed.” Another threat coming, maybe it was better to leave nothing behind and have him gone for good and though her brain wanted to reject the idea completely Heloise was no fool, he was dangerous enough as it was to let him hang around her now. “That such a little amount of alcohol can have such an effect on you.” She remembered drinking enough to shut all the alarms in her head and that had been a considerable amount of shots, but Simeon barely drank, he didn't even had the excuse of being that drunk.


Having to use this against him was something she didn't want at all. Admitting she had feelings for him was not an option anymore unless the current circumstances changed and that wasn't going to happen. Then what was left? Oh yes, run away like a coward but in a very cold, calm and collected way. Heloise picked the dress he threw at her, it was her cue to leave, but for some reason called unreasonable feelings she was currently feeling very comfortable in his bed and also very conscious of being completely naked. It didn't help to her resolution the sigh of Simeon naked but she managed to keep that reaction off her face. “Oh yes, it's sure a shame for you. As things are I don't think you are in a position to say that.” Mainly because she knew he hadn't been as drunk as her and still kept playing that game that lead to this. Simeon had showed his weakness to her making his point meaningless, she had showed that under a certain amount of alcohol her behavior was highly influenced but nothing more than that. It was easier to believe that than the truth; Heloise was as weak as he was. She was weak against him, she had showed him her other side and it didn’t matter how hard she tried to hide it now, cards were on the table and both of them had the knife to hurt the other. The thing was; would they be able to do so? If those feelings kept bothering her Heloise was sure she wouldn’t, though right now with her hangover and the situation she was doing a great job.


Closing herself the way she was doing she didn’t stop to register the tiny but most important detail, that he had feelings for her. Heloise's weakness was Simeon the same way Simeon's weakness was her, but that detail didn't register the correct way, maybe because it was easier to believe that he was a potential danger instead of realizing they felt the same way and that there was another way for this to end. If he had acted differently, if he had made a move, if he had kissed her to shut her up instead of allowing her to continue hurting them both then things could have been different. But he wouldn’t be Simeon. And that would have been admitting it all, but was it so bad? Was it bad to find she could be... happy with another human being? The concept sounded so foreign and cliché to her that she had to suppress a bitter laugh. It wasn’t bad but it wasn’t her, she had always been this way, she was evil, she was vicious and she found pleasure in hurting others, but now she was having a real hard time hurting Simeon, damn cracks on her wall, why him? Why she had to feel that way towards the one who could hurt her the most? Who could compare to her? Getting off the bed she turned her back on him, picked the rest of her discarded clothes and dressed, walking towards him she gave him a sideway smile, a hint of evil in her eyes she rested her hand on his shoulder and got her mouth close to his ear. “Keep dreaming, Simeon. Maybe one day your dreams will come true, though I doubt it.” Stepping back she raised her eyebrow and turned taking her heels on her way to the door.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 861

[simeon bradley parker]

It was funny how the tiniest of decisions could have resounding repercussions. Simeon was completely unaware of the strange balancing act between himself and Heloise. Every single move they made shifted the entire dynamic irreversibly. Simeon didn't believe in fate, but it was hard to imagine how two independent people could crash into each other in such a way completely by chance. In any case, he had seen no indecision in her eyes, and even if he had he wouldn't have recognized it. He was beyond hope; in his mind their future was sealed. He couldn't imagine not seeing her, not running into her from time to time. They attended the same academy, after all. But future encounters would be hostile, no doubt. There wouldn't be any playful bantering. No comfort in each others company.

He answered her fake compliment with a cold smile, not in the mood to rise to any bating. Heloise was determined, though. Had Simeon not shut himself in, maintaining acute control of his expression, he would have appeared angry. He felt it strongly enough, but it was relegated to a far corner of his mind. He'd been drinking before he'd run into her, and he had had enough in his system to make this seem like a good idea. Obviously it wasn't just that, though. Some part of him had jumped at the chance to express some feelings toward this woman. He had showed that he cared about something besides himself. Outwardly, he only sneered at her. He could taste the acidic reply that part of him wanted to throw out, but Simeon was at war with himself. He felt fractured. He wasn't absolutely sure he wanted to push her away. It was no longer him against the world with a clear plan of action in mind. He now had various opinions on how to proceed. He didn't know what was best anymore.

Simeon closed his eyes, taking a moment to pick one. So far, this was the only sign he communicated that he wasn't as in control as he projected. As soon as he opened his eyes again, though, that flicker of weakness vanished. He would let her go, he would even go so far as to hasten her departure. This vulnerability repulsed him; he wanted to be as far away from it as possible. Right now, it was embodied by Heloise, which meant that she had to go away as far as possible. ”Surprised, are you, that someone would take an interest in you? Believe me, it took a lot more alcohol than you think.”

He couldn't let anyone into his life. Especially if it was a person that didn't want to be in it. Simeon knew that they had some twisted sort of mutual affection between them, and both of them were back pedaling as fast as possible from it. He knew his own motivations for it, mainly characterized by distrust and fear. But he also believed that he knew her motivations, which was part of the reason he was making no attempt to convince her otherwise. For all of his arrogance, Simeon was not in the least bit deluded about what sort of person he was. No one in their right mind would want to be in his life. He believed that with the same amount of certainty that he believed everything else. They were going to pretend that this was nothing, but he knew. Still, he wasn't going to argue with her decision, so might as well keep up the charade. ”It's alright Heloise, I'm sure you'll find some whipped bastard that will overlook your glaring flaws, one of these days.”

He followed her out as far as the threshold into his room, where he stopped and leaned against the door frame. As she walked away, he said, ”You think you have something on me, essentially keeping us in a Catch 22 situation, don't you? But you're forgetting something, I think: I don't give a damn about what happens to me, about my reputation. But don't worry, your secret's safe with me.” He laughed dryly, not looking away from her retreating figure. Simeon didn't have a hard time hurting people. He was a selfish bastard with serious commitment issues. Driving this woman away from him was in everybody's best interest, in his opinion. Just in case she was feeling some doubt, he wanted to remind her of the kind of person he was. She didn't want to get close to him. He was toxic.

[heloise victorine soucy]

Heloise was sure she had said this before, that feelings were good for nothing, that she didn’t need them at all and wasn’t capable of having them, much less letting someone in like him in her life. No, she wasn’t a normal human being that needed her life filled with people and love and things like that, because that only made things worse, that only hurt people, that will only hurt her, Heloise was unreachable, untouchable and she had no feelings people could use against her, she was a cold hearted bitch that took pleasure in hurting people, that supported a lot of pressure with style. She was like that. Or she liked to think she was, that her wall would never break and now Simeon not only managed to do so but he slipped right into her lost feelings and brought them back. Heloise didn’t know if she wanted that or not, and if it was a good or a bad thing. She was messed up, her strong self broken under alcohol and showing the most dangerous person around her a weakness she didn’t even know she possessed and maybe that was the reason he had managed to get through unnoticed. The fact that he was being a cold mean bastard helped her with her decisions though, because he wouldn’t know the internal dilemma she was going through with this and it was better that way, she didn’t need to give him more things to use against her and the more she looked at the current situation the more convinced Heloise was about this, she needed him off her life, the sooner the better, so she could have her wall up again in its full regalia and she could affront this with as nothing more than another meaningless night.

It wasn’t true, this has been everything but meaningless, and Simeon was everything but a normal cute boy like the ones who chased after her. Obviously Heloise had been so very naïve believing she could forget this the next morning that things would be okay because they weren’t, at all. Heloise wasn’t weak, she didn’t care about people, she only cared about herself and the benefits people could bring her, and the pleasure torturing them brought her too, that was it. She didn’t know why it was that way and now that she had discovered those feelings she had a new… different perspective of things. Did she have to be like this? Did she really take pleasure in this kind of life? Was it better feeling like the night before or like now? Was it better feeling or not feeling at all? Well those were the questions she couldn’t answer right now with such a massive headache. “No, surprised that you would not know better than making a move on me. I can understand the interest of innocent bystanders, but you?” She snickered, bitter and dry. “So much for being unreachable, Simeon, so much for not feeling.” Hurting or not, regretting this or not Heloise wasn’t going to allow him get the upper hand on this, as much as she hated using what she had if that would drove him away and keep her safe from future harm then she would. Because it was better right? She was saving herself a lot of pain, suffering, weakness, regrets… she was saving herself from all those things she never understood or saw appeal in. He didn’t want people in his life, she wanted the same, and that was what they both were getting, their feelings aside. But those feelings kept tugging the back of her mind.

What did she even want? To stay or to leave? If things were different… only if they were different then... Would they be better? She doubted it, but she could hope and that was something she wasn’t used to at all, hope, what a useless thing to have. “I don’t need or want someone in my life.” Flaws, oh yes, she had those, she had showed him yesterday and he hadn’t mind in the least, she had showed signs of weakness and oh god she hated that. Heloise was mad at herself, very mad, but being mad wasn’t going to solve things and leaving his house would. But once again he had to open his mouth, she could have ignored it and let go but no, she couldn’t so she turned. “You don’t have a reputation in the first place.” She raised her eyebrow, it was true that she had some reputation to protect but honestly no one would dare to even think about ruining it, they knew what she was capable of and her position protected her from those kinds of threats. “And mine is perfectly fine thanks for worrying. I don’t need you to protect me; I need you to vanish from my life. It is over.” Whatever they had, whatever relationship they had been building over the years was finally over and it hurt her but it was better if they didn’t cross paths ever.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 842

[simeon bradley parker]

He sneered at her, the familiar action never feeling more out of place. ”My philosophy is to be unattached, not unfeeling, Heloise. I wouldn't have any fun at all if I was a closed off, aloof iceberg. I'm not the one who abandoned my principles.” Hey, if she wanted to pass last night off as mindless sex, he was happy to go along with it. Blame the alcohol! Blame anything but you own repressed feelings! What a pathetic picture they made, both too stubborn to admit to their respective so-called “weaknesses” first. Simeon had become disillusioned toward the softer emotions that made relationships worthwhile. He'd never had the unconditional love and support that taught people to seek out others. All his formative years had left him with was anger and mistrust. All the same, out of the two of them he was the most likely to act impulsively and cave into his feelings first, but for now he was under agonizing control. Every word he spoke and movement he made was carefully calculated. Still, he couldn't help bating her.

Why was he doing this? Of course she wouldn't just be able to walk away from a comment like that. She was physically incapable of letting someone else have the last word. He had known that, so why did he say it? He had a feeling it was because he wanted to stall her. As soon as she walked out of his door she would effectively be exiting his life. He had just decided that was for the best, but obviously he wasn't completely convinced. At least any conversation they could have from this point forward would be acerbic and serve to distance them from each other. Unless he dropped this whole routine and closed the distance between them, and... he clenched his jaw, dropping his gaze to the wood floor. She wasn't good for him, and he definitely wasn't good for her. The lady wanted to leave and he wasn't going to stop her. Mistakes had been made, and he was lucky that they were going to pretend nothing had happened. It was better than owning up and having to deal with the bigger picture here.

To admit that he cared about anyone but himself was a frightening idea. If he couldn't instantly and painlessly sever ties to everybody he knew, that meant there was a problem. Severing his ties to Heloise was proving to be painful, giving him all the more reason to see it through. If he started looking out for other people... well, that would mean abandoning the person he had been all his life. That was a personality that had served him well, and it could take him anywhere if he wanted it badly enough. Leaving that behind meant venturing into unknown territory, and he wasn't ready for that.

He was beyond getting hurt by mere comments now. His sneer didn't falter as she turned to make her remarks. She had shown him a softer side, but she had been very successful in burying that this morning. She had no reason to take his words seriously anyway. Even if letting this information out would bother her, which he had an inkling it would, he felt oddly averse to that idea. Not that he was worried about what people would say; he couldn't care less what people knew about his sex life. Who would he tell, in any case? A few names crossed his mind, but Simeon didn't have friends. Not real friends. But that wasn't the point. The point was she needed to be gone, and the sooner the better. He had to cut all of those absurd connections to her in his mind and become an island again. He just shrugged. ”Suit yourself. Make sure you grab all of your shit on your way out.” With that he turned around and headed back into his room, shutting the door lightly but decisively behind him.

ooc:: Sorry it's so short! I just needed to post tonight and he was more interested in making her leave than anything XD

[heloise victorine soucy]

What he said would have slipped pass her without leaving an effect on her at all but with the current situation and she still fighting her own feelings those words hurt Heloise more than she wished to. Outside she was in perfect control of herself but inside there was a twisted spiral of anger, regret, hurt… she was confused and mixed up, what did she want? What did he want? But well it was obvious Simeon also wanted her out of his life, if not he would have stopped her and he didn’t. Much to her disappointment because Heloise had kind of expected that, him giving her a reason to stay, a reason to stop acting like the bitch she was. “I didn’t know you even had principles, they are well hided for sure.” Heloise could care less about feelings; about being attached to people… right now they were proving her right because they only brought suffering and unnecessary pain. They were both acting like stupid stubborn kids, so much for being rational creatures and very controlled, but they were doing it all wrong. Heloise believed letting Simeon in was foolish and dangerous and she hoped that those feelings would be gone soon enough. She still had that small hope though, the one who wanted him to close that distance and don’t let her go and the only one she couldn’t afford at all.

Heloise wanted to be out, badly enough. Staying more time there would be really bad; staying there would make her suffer and mess things more. She didn’t need that, at all. But she was finding it hard to leave, she wanted to stay but she very well couldn’t. Showing her weakness was a bad idea; she couldn’t allow herself to have feelings for someone like Simeon. Such a big mistake with biggest consequences, what a fool to believe she could deal with this in the morning and that she wouldn’t suffer while breaking everything they had and burying it as if it never happened. She wasn’t going to cross his path ever again just to make sure her feelings won’t surface ever again. She didn’t even turned to look back at him; she didn’t say a word as she walked picking her last things and walked toward the door. She had to collect herself if she didn’t want to break down, his last words making it definite, whatever they had was dead now, it was over forever. They couldn’t go back now, she wasn’t going to turn and make him stay and he wasn’t going to take her arm and made her stay. Heloise sighed once the door closed behind her, she rested her back against it with her heels and purse on her hands. She looked around.

There was still a chance; still a slight hope that she could turn around and open that door… the thought brought her happiness, but what if he didn’t want that? If he was as drunk as her? Well she wasn’t going to open up her soul just to discover it; it was a big risk that she couldn’t afford at all. No, Heloise wasn’t going to do that, not to mention he wasn’t worth it… he belonged to a lower class, he had no reputation whatsoever and he was the worst guy she could thought of letting in… because he was exactly like her and that was what attracted him. Putting her heels back on her feet she walked to the apartment door, not looking back, completely expressionless, she could only hear the sound of her heels hitting the floor as she walked, each step placing more distance between what her heart wanted and what her mind told her was best. “It could have been different.” She whispered opening the door of the apartment to leave and closing it behind her. That was it, that was her last bond with the only person she considered… tolerable. Now she was alone again, not realizing she hadn’t been until she lost it.

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OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 672
NOTES, and this makes it complete lol