all the lights a-glowin' || cass · complete

[gareth nash brace]

sugar we're going down swinging ,

[atrb=style, background: #373737; border: dashed #ffffff 4px; border-radius:50px 0px 50px 0px;] [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border: dashed #ffffff 3px; width: 400px; height: 500px; float: left; padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 20px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-top: 25px;] Up until now, most of Gareth's holidays had been spent alone. Even when he was back home and living in his family's house like any normal child did, he was normally busying himself in the kitchen or hanging out in his room while the rest of his family did holiday-ish things. The point was that he'd never had a real Christmas that could stick in his mind as a fond memory, and he was trying to change that this year by spending it with Cass. Of course, a few of the promises they had made earlier were still eating at him like the annoying things they were, so he was more than a bit stressed as he added the last ornaments to the large tree in the corner of the living room, bending down to plug in the lights before returning to the couch and his boyfriend's arms. Well, the third year's emotions were always out of wack, so it wasn't like the extra bit of stress affected him that much. He was used to dealing with things like that by now, especially around Cass. That may have sounded a little weird, but Gareth himself was pretty weird. Both emotional and physical scarring – though the latter was mostly from cooking – had left him in a pretty bad place, but then Cass had found him. He wasn't completely healed, but they were both working on it, and he was pretty sure that Cass was in a better place too. Even through all the stress that was being put on his feelings, Gareth was still able to enjoy the fact that he was practically on Cass's lap in his effort to get closer to him. “We should probably start opening presents soon,” he said cheerfully, planting a small kiss on Cass's cheek. Gareth had never really had the opportunity to exchange presents before, so it was an exciting prospect for him. Cass had already got him to spill the secret of one of the things he had gotten for his boyfriend, but there were four artfully wrapped boxes under the tree for Cass, so Gareth still got to take some pleasure out of having the element of surprise. After a second – and maybe not so small – kiss, Gareth stood up again, heading into the kitchen to hold his head in his hands for a minute, then start putting a second batch of cookies on a plate. He'd spent most of the morning cooking, then Cass had arrived and they'd done more cooking, and now his house both looked and smelled like a bakery, with plates of cookies and cake scattered everywhere. Chelsea was spending Christmas.. somewhere, probably back home, but Cass and Gareth had the apartment to themselves, with no little sister to bother them. If Gareth had been a cat, he would have been purring, but as it was he just had a satisfied little smirk on his face.

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[ciaran cassidy corbett]

all along i was looking for something else.

you're something else ❥

====================================

Cass’ holidays were so cliché that it was even painful to describe them. His family gathered, all of his family. When he was small they gathered at the farm, where he lived; it was a pain since Cass had a big family and he most of the times ended up sleeping in the barn under the hay. When his parents lost the farm and moved to the city they started gathering at his aunt’s place but it was no less painful. They decorated a tree big enough to leave a huge clear in whatever forest it was cut from. They filled the house with sickening decorations and everyone ended up stressed over the little light series not working and over the decorations not being placed like they wanted to. His mother and his aunts all ended up fighting over the dinner. ‘More salt’, ‘less salt’, ‘too sweet’, ‘not enough sugar’… and his brother… oh his brother… it was the worst part of the night. His brother simply charmed everyone with his good boy act, and the celebration usually ended (for Cass at least) when a random family member asked Cass why he couldn’t more like his brother and he stomped out of the living room and locked himself in the room, throwing a tantrum that lasted until new year. Christmas with the Corbett family was a nightmare which was the reason why Cass started spending it by himself ever since he was sixteen.

‘By himself’ was also a very loose term. Cass usually spent it at some bar partying hard with friends and acquaintances and the random loser who had no family. Cass’ mother wasn’t surprised when he announced he couldn’t make it back to London for Christmas this year as soon as she mentioned they’d be going to aunt Annie’s this year. He didn’t even bother to make up a decent excuse and just shrugged her off by claiming his reasons involved homework, expensive airplane tickets and a bad case of some rare African disease.

It didn’t mean Cass didn’t like Christmas… he just didn’t like Christmas with his family and since he wasn’t spending it with them he was happy as a clam. This would be his first holiday out of the party scene as well. This would also be his first holiday spent with someone he actually loved. Sitting on the couch he watched as Gareth finished the decorations while munching on the freshly made cookies. They weren’t even cold yet. He remembered his mum smacking his hand whenever he wanted to try warm cookies claiming he’d get a stomach ache. Well, true or not he was about to find out since it was the second batch of cookies he was stuffing inside his mouth and he still had room for that yummy looking cake and the cookies that were still inside the oven. He extended his arms and welcomed Gareth as he climbed on his lap and affectingly returned the kisses. Cass had to wonder just how far they had gotten in the progress line of their relationship. He no longer had to practically beg Gareth for a kiss, or apologize instantly whenever he said something that would upset his boyfriend. They were doing good, and Cass felt ultimately pleased with the fact that he was able to keep a decent relationship with its ups and its downs.

Closing his eyes for a moment, Cass let his arms fall loosely around Gareth before being interrupted by the idea of presents. Oh how he loved presents… receiving them of course, screw giving them. Smiling in a cat-like way his eyes practically stalked the boxes under the tree, almost like the Grinch. “Are they all for me?” He asked Gareth, knowing at least two of them were for him but not really sure about the rest. They could be for Chelsea for all he knew. “Aw Garbear you shouldn’t have… no ok I lied. I’m glad you did.” He sneakered and reluctantly let go of the other as he went to the kitchen. Jumping to his feet he followed Garbear to the kitchen and wrapped his arms around him from behind, pressing Gareth’s back against his chest. “Want to guess what your gift is?” He said with a purr-like seductive voice even though his gift was nothing sexual. There was no box under the tree that indicated Cass got Gareth a gift but being the closet carebear he was he simply couldn’t go without giving something to Gareth. It was just a surprise.

Resting his chin on Gareth’s shoulder he took a moment to stare at the all the goods gareth had cooked for him. Yeah, Cass didn’t help out much in the kitchen, he mostly limited himself to molest Gareth every now and then and mix stuff that he wouldn’t be able to screw up so in a way it felt like another present from Gareth to him. “Thanks for making Christmas not suck.” He grinned cheekly and pressed a sonorous kiss on his boyfriend’s cheek before releasing him and jumping off to the nearest cake. “Wanna guess what’s your gift? I’ll give you three tries, and if you can’t guess I’ll… I’ll just just think of something to do to ya.” Cass winked at Gareth in a playful way, only god knowing what the hell was going on in that silly head of his.

====================================

[gareth nash brace]

sugar we're going down swinging ,

[atrb=style, background: #373737; border: dashed #ffffff 4px; border-radius:50px 0px 50px 0px;] [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border: dashed #ffffff 3px; width: 400px; height: 500px; float: left; padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 20px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-top: 25px;] Gareth adored kids, and hated childish adults with a passion that could only be explained by how his father acted around, well, basically everyone. Oddly enough, though, the childish trait just made him love his boyfriend even more. Cass really was his exception in every way; he'd thought he'd been heterosexual before this, but no, Cass had proven that wrong entirely. Of course, Gareth had also thought that he hadn't been interested in anyone, er, sexually, and that was being proven wrong at this very moment. “No, I don't want to guess what my gift is,” he said softly, trying not to turn around and pin Cass to the counter. It wasn't like he was tall enough to manage that in the first place, so he'd probably just awkwardly fall all over him. Of course, that had a certain appeal too... But no, it was Christmas, and there were more important things to focus on than sex. Or making out. Or whatever else they could think of doing, really, and Cass probably had a lot of ideas on that. “It would take out all the surprise of the gift if I guessed what it was, anyway.” Right, distract himself with things other than jumping on Cass, though being held to his boyfriend's chest really wasn't helping. At all. He blushed when Cass kissed his cheek, smothering the need to turn his head and turn it into a real kiss like he so often did these days. He'd changed so much, and it was all this guy's fault. He didn't mean that in a negative way, though. He was eternally grateful to Cass for changing him, because it was for the better. He wasn't even as socially awkward now, and definitely more open to romantic things. The only negative thing about this was something that had never crossed Gareth's mind and probably never would; Gareth was clingy, and if he and Cass ever broke up, he'd end up in a worse place than he had started in. It was Cass or nothing, and he had unconsciously chosen Cass. Of course, even if he'd been aware that he had options, he still would have chosen his boyfriend over dealing with heartbreak. Who wouldn't have? Sure, maybe it would open him up to other options, but he'd have to get over Cass first, and that was doubtful. He was legitimately happy for the first time in what seemed like forever; even the initial happiness of meeting Sasha and getting away from Oliver had worn off after a few weeks. If his boyfriend could provide the type of happiness that hadn't faded away for over a month, why in hell would he leave? “'Course,” he said, smiling at Cass from across the kitchen. “Why would I let you have a bad Christmas?” In an effort to distance himself from Cass and the... certain type of thoughts that he caused, Gareth had stationed himself of the counter, literally sitting on it like a king sat on his throne. No one was going to invade his little castle of clean thoughts. Except, of course, Cass somehow managed to. He always did that, breaking through the barriers that Gareth had so carefully set up around himself. “I told you, I don't want to guess,” he had started to say, before Cass had continued on with his little speech and a few awkward images managed to get into Gareth's mind. Awkward for him, at least. Cass would probably enjoy them... “You need to stop making my mind think of weird things,” he moaned, putting his head in his hands. Damn Cass and his attractiveness.

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[ciaran cassidy corbett]

all along i was looking for something else.

you're something else ❥

====================================

To say that Cass was a grownup child would be something painfully accurate. Cass liked every aspect of being a child so much that he just got stuck in that phase. He was immature, he was egoistical, he was needy and most of all, he was very horrible when it came down to sharing. Having Gareth for himself for the holidays was like the best present ever, not that he would admit it aloud. He really expected Gareth to leave with Chelsea for Christmas which would leave him in a very lonely position. Cass wasn’t used to this ‘having a relationship’ thing and all the things that came with it were as alien to Cass as the concept of being loyal to someone was. Spending Christmas alone was one thing but he certainly didn’t feel like spending it alone when now that he knew what it was to have someone by his side that didn’t feel utterly annoyed by his presence and in turn Cass didn’t feel the urge to annoy them in any way possible. Gareth was different. To Cass, the moment the other admitted he loved him became the moment in which his entire world started turning around Gareth. It sounded a bit dramatic, and even a bit too deep for two guys who had been dating merely for three months but that was just how Cass felt. As a person who had never taken the time to pour his feelings on a single person, Cass felt compelled to try hard and to not let Gareth down. It was a first for both, and Cass wanted to do it right.

Despite the atmosphere that Cass seemed to be provoking with his actions the truth was that he could be content with just sitting on the couch next to Gareth and snuggling with him until New Year. He pouted a little when Gareth said he didn’t want to guess the gift. Another chocolate chips cookie went flying to his mouth and a slightly confused look appeared in his features as he munched on the sweet treat. “Hm? What did I do now?” He blinked a few seconds, his mind’s dirty filter apparently off. It didn’t last long though, as soon as he swallowed the cookie and reached for another he got what Gareth was talking about. Wrinkling his nose in a funny way he grabbed another cookie and approached Gareth in a rather predatory way. “Oh wait...really now? And here I thought I was the only with those thoughts… you never cease to surprise me.” He approached Garbear without really invading his personal space but still close enough to whisper to his ear. “That’s why I love you…” He pulled back and winked at him before jumping back and on top of the counter, sitting next to one of the many cookie batches. “…among many other things of course.” His happy and pleased grin just reflected how happy and pleased he was at how this Christmas was coming along.

“Ok, gifts! Who goes first? Wanna flip a coin? Or you know, I could just try to convince you to give me mine first by smothering you with kisses. That would please me so very much…” Cass wiggled his eyebrows while making grabby hands for Gareth, eater to get both his presents and his boyfriend between his arms. “I promise I’ve been a good boy.” Cass’ face was that of the typical naughty boy who tried to be good, but still he insisted by jumping off the counter and extending his arms again, inviting Gareth to join him. “I’ll even share my cookies with you.” The grinned and glanced at one of the cookie dishes next to him; as if cookies would serve to lure Gareth to his Cass-claws.

====================================

[gareth nash brace]

sugar we're going down swinging ,

[atrb=style, background: #373737; border: dashed #ffffff 4px; border-radius:50px 0px 50px 0px;] [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border: dashed #ffffff 3px; width: 400px; height: 500px; float: left; padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 20px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-top: 25px;] To be honest, Gareth was kind of glad that his sister was gone for the week. He felt horribly guilty about it, but having Chelsea around for Christmas just didn't seem like a good idea. Sure, she was his sister and all, but he didn't really love her that much past the basic affections that were required to be a good sibling. Most of the time, he comforted himself with the fact that they were only half siblings, so it was probably okay that a lot of times, he just didn't want to be around her. Anyway, he was an adult now. He'd been one for over two years, and wasn't obligated to live in the same house as his little sister anymore, under their mother's roof. Of course, he still did live with her... but it was his house, not his mother's, so it was different in some ways. And even with all of that, Gareth still wished that she had stayed home. She had family in Wales, while it felt that Gareth just didn't. His mother was never exactly warm towards him, so he only grudgingly considered her family, and his father? No, in his mind, he just didn't have a father. But what he would never admit to himself was that he was actually a lot like Oliver; they'd both been separated from their main family, one more willingly than the other, and they'd both began to make makeshift families in their new homes. His father had found Sasha's uncle, and Gareth himself had found... Sasha herself. And Cass, obviously, though he was less like family. His boyfriend was more of, well, a boyfriend. Gareth had said once that he was glad that Cass wasn't family, because if he had been, what they were doing would be considered incest. Family was nice, sure, but having Cass around to cuddle with in a very non-platonic way was just so much better. At the moment, though, Cass's mind seemed to be playing an oddly platonic little game... which was amusing. It was normally Cass that was having all the perverted thoughts, but today it was Gareth's turn. Opening his eyes and taking his head out of his hands, Gareth mumbled a quick “Love you too,” before fixing his hair and sliding off the counter. He had to calm down, or risk ruining the happy Christmas that he had planned on having. A nice, quiet Christmas would be nice. For a while, at least. Later tonight, he could probably get away with dragging Cass to the bedroom... Nope, he wasn't thinking about that. As soon as the photographer managed to get rid of any thoughts regarding sex, he was able to pay much more attention to his boyfriend, which Cass obviously wanted. “It wouldn't take much to convince me, you know,” he said, smiling and leaning against the counter he had just been sitting on. “But you're welcome to smother me in kisses anyway.” Cass wasn't the only one here that would enjoy that, though Gareth had no idea which one of them would enjoy it more. He laughed when Cass declared that he hadn't been naughty, but joined him anyway, wrapping his arms around the taller boy's neck. “I really doubt that. But you can have your presents anyway, since it would be sad if they went to waste,” he mumbled, resting his cheek against Cass's chest. He hated being short post of the time, but it had its benefits with Cass. “And yes, you can go first.” If Cass wanted to go first, he could. Maybe it was a bit of his inferiority complex kicking in, but Gareth didn't like leading anything. No opening presents first, being head of a work group in class, and not even being on top during sex.

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[ciaran cassidy corbett]

all along i was looking for something else.

you're something else ❥

====================================

A very quick glance to the clock reminded Cass what time it was. His family was probably having dinner already, seeing London was one hour ahead. He pictured his mother fighting with his aunt for the serving spoon, while his brother offered his seat to their older aunt, probably securing his spot in her will. Cass also pictured the insane amount of food they probably cooked; turkey, ham, and other dishes that were so typical in their Christmas dinner. Cass didn’t miss it though; despite the fact he was a bottomless pit he wasn’t exactly fond of Christmas dishes hence why he asked for cake and cookies instead of something a lot more traditional. He was pretty sure Gareth would make something delicious if he asked for it but Cass was a lot more content stuffing his face with something that would throw him in an early stage of diabetes than turkey.

With Gareth so close and a pair of arms around his neck Cass officially declared this as the best Christmas ever. He leaned over to reach of his boyfriend’s lips, delivering only a little bit of the smothering he mentioned earlier. Pulling back he smiled against Gareth’s lips. “I’ll continue with the smothering later, or else I’ll never get to open my gifts.” Gareth could be so distracting. It was almost an impossible task to take Cass’ mind away from two things: food and gifts, and yet Gareth managed to do it with such ease that it was almost creepy. Releasing Gareth’s waist Cass’ eager blue eyes turned to the bright and merry tree. Clasping his hands in front of his chest with a loud clap, Cass got that ‘eager puppy’ look in his face that was oh-so-common whenever he was overly excited for something… like that time when Gareth agreed to their first date. Skipping over to the tree he circled it a few times, trying to pick what box to open first. After a couple times around the tree he finally stopped in front of a red box with a golden ribbon. The box was big, the biggest actually which was the reason why it attracted Cass’ attention first. “What’s this one!?” He asked excitedly, obviously ignoring the fact that asking what it was would break the surprise.

Upon picking it up Cass realized it was slightly heavy; not enough to not be able to pick it up but it certainly weren’t clothes. Shaking it a little Cass over analyzed the box for a few precious moments. He sucked at guessing what was inside the gift boxes. He and his brother always played the game when they were little and Cass always guessed wrong while his brother was always right. Cass was pretty sure he cheated… but anyway. Sitting on the floor he placed the box in front of him and wiggled his fingers before setting to the task of opening it. Like an eager five year old he unwrapped the present as fast as he could, revealing a box filled with art supplies. Letting out a small squeal he sprawled himself on the floor and looked up at Gareth from his new position. “This is my favorite brand, how did you know?” Cass made another attempt to bring Gareth to his arms by making smooching noises and wiggling his fingers at his boyfriend but stopped as soon as he remembered there were three more boxes. “Wait, I got more!” He sat back up and reached for the next box, similar in size but a lot lighter. Shaking it again he set it back on the floor and opened it with equal excitement. As soon as the box was open a layer of white and black fur popped up. Pulling the present out Cass held up the stuffed panda bear and couldn’t help but make an adoring sound. “Awwwwwww, it’s so cuuuuuuute~” He chuckled at hugged the bear against his chest before turning to Gareth. “And it’s happy to see you! I’mma call it… Garbear Jr.” He snickered and planted the bear on his lap so he could reach for the next gift. The jacket inside the green box fitted Cass’ form perfectly fine. “Does this mean you don’t want me to hug you when I claim I’m cold?” Cass joked playfully before setting down again to open the last gift. It was small and Cass decided to leave it for the last since it picked his curiosity the most. Following with the ‘shake the box and then open it’ ritual he unwrapped the present to reveal a necklace with a little pendant in the form of two polecats. Unable to hide his pleased smile, Cass finally rose to his feet and left both the jacket and the bear on the couch before walking to Gareth while holding the necklace. “This is too much Garbear…” He said, but still couldn’t stop smiling. “Are you sure it’s ok? Because you gave me enough gifts…” It really felt like a lot. Cass had never received anything like that from anyone outside his family. He was too happy about it though, there was no way to hide it but still… better ask when it came down to Gareth.

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[gareth nash brace]

sugar we're going down swinging ,

[atrb=style, background: #373737; border: dashed #ffffff 4px; border-radius:50px 0px 50px 0px;] [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border: dashed #ffffff 3px; width: 400px; height: 500px; float: left; padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 20px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-top: 25px;] Kisses from Cass were always nice, but it was normally Gareth that stopped them from leading to anything else. So it was kind of amusing when this time, it was Cass that had to remind Gareth to focus on other things, like presents. Gareth had been the one to cling more tightly to Cass and make a needy little whine, and he'd even pouted a bit when Cass had let go of him. But oh well, presents would be fun too, and at least there had been a promise of 'later'. Maybe the photographer had gone a bit overboard with buying Cass presents... Cass seemed happy about it, though. Watching Cass circle the tree, though, Gareth swore that he'd never need a puppy of his own when his boyfriend provided all the adorable facial expressions. With that and the near-constant cuddling, Cass was honestly more of a soul healing bundle of love than a dog ever could be, though Gareth still missed the old dog that he'd had when he was really young. He laughed when Cass asked what the present was, because why in the world would Gareth tell him? A little hint couldn't hurt, though. “It's the one I already told you about,” he said, settling down on the couch to watch Cass open his gifts. There wasn't really much need to talk to Cass while he was opening gifts, so Gareth filled the time with thinking instead, every once in a while looking over at Cass and smiling encouragingly. It was kind of surprising to look back on what kind of person Gareth had been just three months ago, then compare it to how he was acting today. He was just... different. Shockingly so, to be honest. He couldn't even bring himself to share his ideas in class, and though it was still hard, he was able to do so many more things now. The most noticeable thing was the smiling, though. Three months ago, he'd constantly been wearing a stonic and serious face, even when Cass was around. Now he was almost always smiling, which was kind of weird. He'd probably smiled more in these months than he had in his whole life. He just smiled even more when Cass named the stuffed panda after him, and laughed too. Cass's happiness really was infectious, no matter how hard Gareth had tried to remain serious at first. Cass was like a virus. In a positive way, of course. Gareth couldn't bring himself to insult Cass now, it just seemed even more morally wrong than insulting any person was. His train of silence continued until Cass opened his last present, which in Gareth's mind was the most important. He practically snapped to attention, tensing up from his relaxed position. He wanted Cass to like that one, because it was the only one of the presents that actually meant something. It had made Gareth nervous just to wrap it, because it had been his father that had given it to him and jokingly told him to give it to whoever he liked. Of course, Gareth being Gareth, he had taken Oliver completely seriously, even if he didn't like him much. Even after he'd cut off contact with his father, he couldn't bring himself to throw away the little necklace, though he'd stored it away in some dusty old place. If he hadn't come across it while he was unpacking a few days ago, Cass would have only gotten three presents. But he'd found it, remembered what its whole purpose was, and taken it in to a small jewelry shop to clean it off from all the dust and grime it had collected over the years. Now it was as good as new, and Gareth really wanted Cass to like the only sentimental gift that Gareth had given him. “Do you like it?” he breathed, because that was honestly the only questioned that mattered to him right now. He had ignored Cass's questions, because of course it wasn't too much. He'd given it to Cass, hadn't he? Of course it was okay for Cass to have it, how could he think otherwise? All that mattered to Gareth was whether his boyfriend liked it or not, because he'd be mortified if he didn't.

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TEMPLATE BY OH SO CHARGASMIC ! @ CAUTION 2.0

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[ciaran cassidy corbett]

all along i was looking for something else.

you're something else ❥

====================================

Few things were able to leave Cass speechless, ok, nothing really left him speechless but certain things managed to leave him with few words to say. Gareth’s gift managed to do the trick. Cass stood there, glancing between the necklace on his hand and Gareth as if he had just received a million dollars and couldn’t believe it. “I…” He finally fixed his gaze on Gareth, his expression softening to a smile and everything in him mellowing down. “I love it. Thank you very much.” He held the necklace against his chest for a moment before wrapping his arms around Gareth and hiding his face in his boyfriend’s neck. “Thank you for everything.” He said in a muffled voice.

Cass couldn’t help but think about certain things in situations like this one, where he was close to Gareth and behaving like a decent person instead of the crazy attention seeking creep he usually behaved as. Gareth wasn’t the only one who had changed since they started going out. It hadn’t even been that long. Cass never quite noticed the date, and that probably made him a bad boyfriend, but he was pretty sure it was a little less than three months since he started dating Gareth and everyone around him could notice the change. It was something good, something he felt alright about, it felt almost natural. It was also kinda creepy considering Cass had been voted ‘most likely to stay single for the rest of his life’ in high school. He had also been voted a lot of things he certainly wouldn’t discuss with Gareth but yeah… that one came to his memory right now.

“I also got you something.” Cass said while releasing Gareth from his grasp and gaining a very unique and out of character look for him. He looked almost shy. “I know you don’t like gifts and things like that but I still wanted to give it to you.” Cass spoke while facing the ground and busied his hands with the necklace, putting it around his own neck. “It’s not anything big or… you know… important but… well…. We fight a lot, and most of the times it’s my fault and I end up saying things I don’t want to say or I don’t mean.” Cass continued looking at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. His feet were fidgeting and his hands were stuck inside his pockets. “So I made you a list.” He finally looked up but just for a second before looking back down, this time at his pockets, and pulled a very tattered and wrinkled piece of paper folded six times. “It’s a list. Uh, it’s a list of the reasons why I love you, and why I’m with you, so that… you know… whenever I say something stupid again because I’m pretty sure it’ll happen, you can look at it and know that I don’t really mean it, and that I really love you very much.” Cass held onto the piece of paper and it was obvious now why it was in such a bad condition. He kept closing his fist around it and ironing the wrinkles against his chest in a constant cycle. “It took me like… ten minutes to think of all the reasons and they wouldn’t all fit in the paper sheet so I chose the important ones, and yes… because you feed me is in there.” He spoke nervously before finally unfolding the paper and showing it to Gareth. It was filled with his messy handwriting and a few doodles and a bunch of pen scratches which served to cover his spelling mistakes. “You don’t have to read it right now just uh… this one, this one is important…” He pointed at the first one, written in red and with arrows pointing at it. “Because being with you makes me want to be a better person.” He read aloud and quickly folded the paper before shoving it in Gareth’s hands and looking away. “You can do whatever you want with it, I just needed to write that… so I guess it was something more for me than for you. Can we stop talking about that now? I think I want more cookies.” It was the first time in his life that Cass felt so awkward about something. Maybe he was too close to Gareth and his awkwardness was rubbing on him. Taking long strides to the kitchen he sat on the counter and stuck a big bunch of cookies inside his mouth to stop himself from saying anything else. Talk about awkwardness… no wonder Gar had such a hard time when Cass was being stupid.

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[gareth nash brace]

sugar we're going down swinging ,

[atrb=style, background: #373737; border: dashed #ffffff 4px; border-radius:50px 0px 50px 0px;] [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, border: dashed #ffffff 3px; width: 400px; height: 500px; float: left; padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 20px; padding-bottom: 25px; padding-top: 25px;] It was kind of odd when Cass buried his face in Gareth's neck, but the photographer simply accepted it as one of those rare times when Cass showed his more vulnerable side. It was nice to see that his boyfriend trusted him enough to do that, but at the same time, it scared Gareth a bit. Everything scared Gareth, really, but if Cass was being vulnerable it was up to Gareth to be the calm and collected one. Sure, he could be stonic and hide his emotions when he had to, but not around Cass. Only a few people had managed to break down his barriers, and since Cass was one of them, Gareth was extremely emotional around him. “You're.. very welcome,” he mumbled, wrapping one arm around Cass's neck and hesitantly reaching another up to stroke his hair. Cass had said once that he liked it when Gareth did that, but the third year still thought it was kind of odd. 'I'm just glad you like it.” A little sigh of relief was due, but just as Gareth had started to relax against Cass, the taller boy sat up again. Gareth wouldn't have minded staying like that for a while, but it looked like Cass had other things in mind. Apparently, they weren't done with presents yet. With Cass continuing to be vulnerable, Gareth didn't dare try to lighten the air by making a joke, but he didn't want to ruin anything by saying something serious, either. So once again, Gareth opted out of the conversation, remaining silent as he listened to his boyfriend speak. Cass was covering most of what Gareth had wanted to say, anyway. No, he hadn't wanted any gifts; Gar enjoyed the giving part of Christmas much more than the receiving, because he was always awkward while getting presents. But he supposed that if it wasn't any big and Cass honestly wanted to give it to him, then he couldn't exactly refuse, or stand up and walk away from situations he didn't like, like he normally did. Cass's behavior was kind of odd, too, but Gareth dealt with that. Cass's behavior was always odd, and this was just expressing said oddness in a different way. He tensed up a little when Cass mentioned their fighting, but it wasn't too noticeable, and Cass was obviously distracted. He'd been trying not to get too upset lately, and to stop saying that everything was fine when Cass asked if something was wrong, but he'd apparently been failing at that... “It's not your fault,” he said quickly, though he wasn't sure if Cass had heard him or not. He had continued talking, so probably not. Anyway, wasn't it always Gareth's fault? When Cass pulled out the little piece of paper, Gareth's eyes latched onto it. If that was his present, it didn't seem too bad... but when Cass told him what it was, the photographer's eyes widened a bit, and it suddenly seemed like too much of a gift to accept. “Cass..” he tailed off, looking up at the younger man's face. He had been about to say something, but then Cass continued talking again. Gareth gave the due laughter when Cass mentioned food, and blinked in surprise when Cass simply shoved the paper at him and walked away, but he could go after him later. For the moment, he just gently unfolded the wrinkled paper and read down the list, a small smile playing across his face. After folding it again and fitting it into the pocket of his jeans, the third year stood up, following Cass into the kitchen and climbing up onto the counter next to him. “I'm going to have to clean the counters, you know. With all these people sitting on them,” he said jokingly, smiling and leaning his head on Cass's shoulder. Gareth could be a bit of a neat freak sometimes, but no one could blame him for waiting until Cass had stopped eating cookies for a few seconds to adjust his position slightly, taking his boyfriend's jaw in his hands before kissing him.

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TEMPLATE BY OH SO CHARGASMIC ! @ CAUTION 2.0

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