ghosts of you||anouk · COMPLETE

[anouk lirienne fournier]

This relationship was harder to deal with than she had thought it would be, of course she never expected it to be easy, but not this hard. Alexei kept acting weird and annoyed, never matter the effort Anouk was doing to relax him. They were going to fight, it was so obvious, and if that was what they needed for him to feel alright then she will go through it. Anouk knew she was making things harder for him sometimes, she was one hell of a girl to handle, her father had told him that. She hoped that wouldn’t break him down. He kissed her back but it didn’t feel the same, it wasn’t those sweet passionate kisses they gave to each other and it was strange after how much she had missed him and how hard she wanted to be with him and cuddle with him. “Okay, stop this, what’s wrong with you?” He smiled at her and talked to her but he wasn’t being himself, he wasn’t… as affectionate as before. “What are you thinking of? Your mind is somewhere and one thing is you not wanting to fight and another thing is… this.” She was frustrated because she tried to make this work; she had missed him so much! It was hard to believe he wasn’t feeling the same. And if he didn’t they might as well stop this charade they had going on, she could notice the difference. “I am always happy when I’m with you, even when we fight.”

They had enough worrying about their parents to add more things to the mix; couldn’t they just be happy as normal couples? Their relationship had been hell from the start, and the start hadn’t been a very good one either. Lowering her eyes she spotted the thing scar in her wrist and touched it lightly. This way he was acting was hurting her, but she fully deserved it, she had hurt him going away with another guy to another country and they wouldn’t be comfortable with each other until they solved that. “To be honest, I don’t care how they react. This is going to work either way.” Or not, and seeing how things were going… but she had to be positive. She raised her eyebrow as he finished another champagne flute, before he could serve himself another one she took his hands. “Easy there Alexei, what’s going on with you today?” He listened to what Anouk had to say in silence and then moved her so she was sitting on his lap; she rested her head against his chest, still worried, and listened to him. “I love you too. But you are an horrible liar Alexei, and we can’t be like this forever. I know something is going on and I don’t want to fight, but I am not feeling you.” She titled her head to look at him and shifted her body to be more comfortable.

Sighing she finished her own flute and served herself another one, if he was drinking she might as well do the same tonight. This wasn’t the night she had in mind for both of them, this had been the night she had been waiting for all the weekend. “If you don’t tell me what’s going on I can’t help you. Alexei if this has something to do with Nick… we did nothing, at all. I am very careful, I don’t touch him unless is necessary and never ever the way I touch you, and the same with kissing. You are my whole life Alexei, I’ve been waiting for you three years, do you really believe I will do something like that to you?” Anouk sighed and kissed him again, shifting in his lap to circle his neck with her arms, pulling him towards her. “Don’t hate me, don’t be mad at me.” She whispered against his lips, pecking him millions times. “I love you.” She rested her forehead against his, bumping their noses and playing with his hair with her eyes closed. They both suffered enough, they deserved to be happy, and she was going to do everything she could to make him happy.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 696

[alexei leon fournier]

It was difficult to hold him back, he did nothing, he was nothing, he was just someone to be annoyed by the littlest things and that was so stupid of him. He knew that, he was sure that Anouk was already so annoyed with him because of how he acted at some points, but it wasn’t his fault, he was just over jealous, over protective and annoying. Being antisocial made him like that, having someone in his life who changed him in so many ways…well you had to pity the poor guy, he just didn’t want to lose her to some twenty seven or whatever something year old, rich, pampering business man. Looking at her with a raised eyebrow as she called him out, he narrowed his eyes a little at her, a little frustrated that she couldn’t just let it go. He didn’t want to speak of it, that was him, he just didn’t want to but it was annoying that she just kept on trying to get it out of him when he didn’t want to say it. “Can you just leave it? I’m not in the mood to talk about anything in my mind at this moment.” He knew she was going to get even angrier at that, he just hoped she would leave it though; for once at least. “There’s nothing different with me, and if you say yes to that then you’re being difficult. Now let’s drop this and be happy that you’re always happy because I am too.” He locked eyes with her, as if challenging her to carry on with everything instead of arguing. Hopefully she’d take the bait and continue.

Yes, he was being horrible but he just couldn’t stand the arguments and the fights at that moment, the crying and the tears that would soon follow afterwards; it was as if the entire thing was becoming a pattern. He followed her gaze to her wrist and let out an inaudible sigh, he didn’t know why everything had to go back to that, it was a chapter in their lives that were closed now. He knew he was being an asshole, so he tried to tone himself down a little, she was hurting because of the way he was treating her, he had to stop it because he loved her and he didn’t want his emotions to get the better of him and ruin the greatest thing in his life at that very moment. He nodded his head at her, pushing his emotions to the side for once the entire night and smiled at her. “I believe it is too, it’ll work. I’m sure of it.” Nodding his head firmly, he went to take another sip of his drink before Anouk grabbed his hands to stop him from doing just that. He just shrugged his shoulders, was it a problem that he was drinking? Raising an eyebrow, this time he let out an audible sigh and just shook his head. “Like I said before, there’s nothing going on. You may think there is but there isn’t, just because you’re good at detecting liars doesn’t mean I’m lying all the time. You’re probably not feeling me because it feels awkward since it’s been some time, that’s it.” He just shrugged his shoulders once more at her, why did she have to go into things so much?

Downing his entire flute in one go, he let out another sigh and leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes as he heard Anouk pouring herself another glass of champagne, he was too tired to even bother to try and stop her. At least he was here so she wouldn’t be doing anything wrong. Keeping his eyes closed, he listened to her, wishing that his flute were still full so he could down it at this moment. “It’s nothing to do with him or you, why do you assume everything is to do with you? I could be angry about something else, OK?” Sighing, he shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose; he sat up straight, the blankets moving away from his legs. Keeping his head bent forward, he felt her kisses, her pulling closer towards him and rubbing her nose against his.“I don’t hate you OK? Just leave it as that now and kiss me, I love you a lot too. Leaning forwards, he kissed her hard, pouring his heart out into it, he had no idea where this sudden burst of emotion came from but he wanted her to feel it.

word count|| 760. thoughts|| i love coldplay!

[anouk lirienne fournier]

Anouk closed her eyes, took a deep breath and tried to let it go. Couldn’t he understand she was worried? She was worried about what was going between them lately, as if their honeymoon state was over and done and all they could do was fight and hurt each other. As if she was back in the old times when they weren’t together and bickered around but ten times worst. And she didn’t want that, she couldn’t stand the idea. Anouk was more hurt at his words than mad; she closed her eyes and winced at his words. She had the urge of getting up and leave before things got worse, it was clear this wasn’t their night. Alexei was mad, tired and though he said he didn’t want to fight he was picking one. But she bit her tongue like she always did because she didn’t want to hurt him, she didn’t want to give him more reasons to be mad. She sighed and opened her eyes, and she hoped the pain and hurt was hided well for him not to notice. She did this before, she had suffered in silence, she could do it again. “Okay, okay. I deserve it.” She said in a whisper and threw her hands up in surrender. Anouk lost her appetite, she lost the will and she felt suddenly very old and tired, as if suddenly a heavy burden had been placed on her shoulders. For her that part of her past couldn’t be left behind, every day when she woke up and when she went to bed her eyes always went to the scar, even if it was to just smile and see things had changed for the better.

He seemed happy sometimes, and then he was back to being mad at again, and Anouk shut her mouth and stood there sitting on his lap trying to make things better and they for some reason only got worse. He was drinking and that pushed her to do the same, feeling the alcohol on her body again was like tasting heaven, her body welcomed it with warm of an old and very dear missed friend. Alexei couldn’t understand what she went through when she stopped drinking and how hard that was for her. She was back on her old habit again tonight, hiding her pain and sadness behind the alcohol, something she never thought was going to happen ever again. How foolish of her, thinking everything was just going to be alright once she had Alexei. Following his words she kissed him, hard and passionate, matching him; now this was different, it was better, intoxicating and all her feeling conveyed on the kiss. She shifted in his lap, sitting to face him, her legs circling around his hips. Anouk’s hands played with his hair. Her mind started to swirl, she had dragged him to this relationship, made things difficult for him, hurt him… at the back her mind there was a voice tugging, a soft voice saying ‘let go of him, let him stay with Sophia. You know he is better off without you’ the worst part of it all was that she knew it was true. Alexei could be doing much better with another girl, one easier to handle, one that wouldn’t give him so many problems.

And tears started to appear in her eyes, Anouk pulled away from the kiss got up from his lap and walked to the other side of the room. She turned her back on him and looked at the wall; her hand went up to her eyes and cleaned the tears away. “I’m sorry… I… I am sorry.” She muttered. It hadn’t been because of him, it had been her own fault, she couldn’t stand the idea of making his life miserable, as much as they loved each other if this was going to make him miserable then she better left him before it was too late and the damage was done. “Please don’t come here, give me a minute.” She didn’t want him to see this, she wanted to calm down, collect herself and go back to his arms where she always felt safe better, but Anouk had the feeling she was being selfish keeping him and hurting him in such a way, not giving him the chance to enjoy a normal life and just placing obstacles in his way one after another. She was hard to handle, and she had tried to tone it down a lot since they started to go out, making things easier for him, but at some point everything had turned against her, and at some point everything was going to turn against them both, things getting even worse. Was he ready to go through all that? Did she want him to? Of course she did, because she wanted to stay with him. But was it fair?

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 817

[alexei leon fournier]

It was pretty obvious that she was worried about him but he didn’t want that, for once he just wanted her to leave him alone to his thoughts. That was one of the downsides of having a girlfriend; they just wanted to pry into your life, into your thinking space when you wanted to just think to yourself. All Alex wanted was a little bit of quiet and to down the entire champagne bottle down by himself; that was that. It sounded amazing but he knew Anouk would want this sorted out. He didn’t bother to react to her wincing of his words, tonight he was feeling mean, maybe it was the alcohol affecting his brain or maybe it was just everything he felt over the past few weeks building up and finally bubbling out? He didn’t even know why he was acting this way, what was going on inside of his mind? He did notice she was in pain and he did feel guilty, it was eating him slowly, but he didn’t want to say anything, not because he wanted her to suffer but because he had no idea what he could say to make her feel better. Biting his lip softly, he didn’t reply to her and just nodded his head as if he agreed with it all. In fact he wasn’t sure what he thought about the entire situation his mind was just becoming hazy now and it was making him annoyed. Maybe he shouldn’t have drunk so much.

Alcohol was never something in his body that he welcomed willingly but he had succumbed to it tonight, he wanted the pain to be dulled; just as how Anouk said it dulled hers, he wanted his pain to be diminished too. He didn’t think that he could survive feeling like that; it was just horrible. He did notice that she was drinking, he wanted to stop her, to push the glass out of her hand because he didn’t want her becoming addicted again but he would be stupid to do that, if he could drink then so could she. He didn’t want her to get angry and he didn’t either. He wanted to lie down and press his face against the pillows, just wanting to dull the pain with alcohol and sleep, but if he lied down then he wouldn’t be able to drink so that would be a problem for him, a very big one. Though their kissing was passionate, steamy, everything that was there before, he was still sure there was something missing, which caused him to slow it down a little. A hand ran up her arm gently, he just wanted to feel her, he just wanted to memorise her body once more and intoxicate himself with her. Cupping her chin as she played with his hair, he tried to move himself closer without dropping his drink, his mind was still conscious of the flute in his hand and he didn’t want it gone. It was weird how he was thinking of alcohol at the moment he was kissing the love of his life.

Blinking rapidly, trying to regain himself and compose himself, he took deep, sharp breaths as he looked at her. Feeling the emptiness on his lap, he looked down for a second and sighed, running a hand through his hair, he leaned back against the wall for a second before downing the rest of his champagne flute and standing up. Not speaking as she apologised to him, he waited for a second, unsure of what to do. Was she crying because of him? It was obvious she was crying, even if she was trying to hide it well, the room was quiet so her sufferable sobs were ricocheting from each wall. He didn’t listen to her of course when she told him to stay away from her and to give her a minute. Walking towards her slowly, he stopped behind her before putting both his hands on her shoulders and turning her around. Gripping onto her hands with one hand, he locked eyes with her and then scanned her face for a few long seconds. So she had been crying. Letting go of her hands, he wiped away her tears, slowly, softly, gently, as to not startle her. He placed his lips against both cheeks, kissing her softly for a second. “I’m sorry, I never meant to make you cry.” Leaning his forehead against her shoulder, he placed both hands on her hips and leaned forwards, making her gently move back so she was leaning against the wall. “I love you, and even though I’m either on the verge of being drunk or I already am, I never mean anything horrible. If you believe me of course…”

word count|| 795. thoughts|| i love coldplay!

[anouk lirienne fournier]

Tonight there was something different between them, something it was easy to spot for her because Anouk had been studying Alexei for years. He was debating between making her hurt and the guilt he felt because of it. If she didn’t deserved it she would have made him stop, she would have got up and left him there all by himself. But she knew whatever Alexei threw at her was well deserve and so she shut up and let him vent on her. They had been going back and for since they started dating someone else, and she wanted to answer him back, it was his fault, only his because he had the idea and was determinate to see it through. Anouk bit her tongue though for a very simple reason, she agreed to this and now it was herself the one who wouldn’t back down. Alcohol was going up his head faster than she had expected maybe because Alexei wasn’t so used to drink as she was, it took at least two bottles for her to get slightly tipsy, the more alcohol she drank the more it took for her to notice the effects. She wanted to make him stop, but she couldn’t at all because well she did the same for years and right now she was doing it again, and damn if it didn’t feel great because it did, it so did. Of course after her second flute she started to wish for something stronger and her mind drifted to the place she used to hide her stock, wondering if she could have something left.

Kissing made it always better but Anouk wasn’t sure if this was a way of distraction or if he really wanted her tonight. She had the impression he wanted her to leave, which hurt her because they had been apart for days but that wasn’t her main worry. She hurt him, she kept doing so and she kept him for her being selfish and jealous and couldn’t take care of him properly. He was definitely better off without her, he could do so much better, deserved so much better than someone who could only bring misery and regret and pain to his life, not to mention problems and unnecessary fights with the people he loved. If this went the wrong way his whole world was at risk. He thought she didn’t care about that, and that she was being positive looking only at her bright side, but that wasn’t true. Anouk had no answers for this though, no way of solving it but one and she cringe just thinking about it. So though the passion, the need and the feelings were still there in their kiss her mind was for sure somewhere else. Some place that he should never discover. She hated it when she heard his voice, apologizing for something that was her fault, because she wasn’t crying because of him, she was crying for him.

That voice keep tugging at the back of her mind, telling her to leave, to left him there while they slept and never look back, go to her father and allow Alexei a chance, the chance he deserved. “It’s not you or what you said. You were right, this is something else entirely.” The more he touched her, and the more gently he did, the more she wanted to cry and cling to him for dear life. Maybe because she was on the edge of taking a fatal decision or because she knew it was the right thing to do, the idea won’t leave her alone. That was the reason she was crying, Anouk knew she had to leave him, for him to be happy she would have to sacrifice her own happiness once again, and who was she kidding? Maybe she belonged to her past life, maybe she was fated to end up alone drowned in alcohol and drugs. Alexei made her rest against the wall, his forehead in her shoulder, she shuddered at his voice and she knew as much as this hurt them both she wasn’t yet brave enough to leave him. Taking his face on her hands she lifted it and attacked him, pulling him towards her so there was no space between them, she was desperate and if she ever mustered the courage to leave him she might as well enjoy this night. “I love you too.” She kept kissing him, more urgent this time, her hands tugging at his hair, breaking the kiss from time to time gasping for air, but she was way gone into his kisses now to even think anymore, and it was a good thing she didn’t.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 782

[alexei leon fournier]

He hated it, he hated how easily she could just read him, it was annoying, it was creepy and he just wanted to shake her by the shoulders and tell her to stop studying him, to stop getting into his mind because she was just going to get hurt later on. He didn’t want her to get hurt, if she got hurt, she’d get angry, and if she got angry, she’d either cry or throw harsh words at him – Alex bet on the latter – and he was sure it would hurt him. Why were they always fighting? Come to think of it, it was probably mainly Alex’s fault, he was being the idiot in the relationship; he was the one becoming jealous all the time, hurting Anouk when she went out with boys, but this was her. This was the girl he fell in love with, the one who spoke too loud, the one who showed herself off, made all the boys run after her but still stayed loyal, the girl who loved him so much. So why was he doing this? Even he had no idea, he should have an out of body experience where he tells himself that he’s being an idiot, it would probably wake him up and help him to make Anouk feel better about herself, by doing this he was hurting her, degrading her, making her feel worse than she already was.

Just by kissing her made him feel better, he wasn’t sure if it was a distraction, it probably was. He just wanted her to be distracted from everything, to not think about anything that he was doing and the annoyance that he was feeling, heck, just by kissing her he was starting to forget that he had been annoyed just a few seconds ago. He wanted to know what was going on inside her head, what was she thinking of? What could he do to make her feel better? He wanted her to be happy, not worry about doing something to him, but he was always making her feel that way, it was him who was making her feel upset and it was no one else. He knew it was his fault, knew that it was him who had forced these tears out of her eyes, he had promised her, promised himself that he wouldn’t ever let tears fall out of her eyes again, especially not because of him. But here he was, making her cry, it was all him and he couldn’t help but feel guilty about just that.

He held her gently, making sure that she was standing properly, so that she wouldn’t fall at all. He wanted to see a smile on her face, even a small one, just something that would make her laugh a little. “What is it then? Are you going to tell me?” He whispered it, he had no strength inside of him left, he didn’t want to argue anymore, and there was already a pounding inside of his head because of the drinks that he had been having for a long time. But he wanted more, he wanted to have something stronger, this champagne wasn’t doing anything for him anymore. Pushing her hair back a little, he held onto her tighter and wiped her face off of any damp tears. Tilting his head to the side, he looked at her with an intense look, wanting to know what was going on inside of her head, why did he not know anything about her? The look in her eyes told him that she wanted to give him up, but he didn’t want to believe that at all because he knew she was too much in love with him to let him go even for a second, there was no way the both of them would break up, he wouldn’t let that happen. As she attacked him with kisses, his arms went around her waist and he turned her around a little, moving her towards their make shift bed, gently kneeling down and forcing herself down with him, he made her lie down and looked down at her, nodding as she told him that she loved him. Nudging her nose with his, he traced her lips with his fingers, before kissing her once more.

word count|| 717. thoughts|| where shall we take this to?

[anouk lirienne fournier]

Anouk hated it when Alexei blamed it everything on him, when he felt guilty about things and when he thought he was hurting her because it was the other way around and she couldn’t do a thing about it, because whatever she tried always turned against her. Ok well she did some things to clearly piss him off and hurt him, to make him take back some words he said or some actions and she hated herself once those remarks left her mouth. From the first time since they got together the only thing they were good at was fighting and she hated it, but she was willing to believe it was just an stage and that it had to do with them dating other people and the guilt that generated. Anouk ended up doing what she had tried to avoid the most; hurt him. She had spent three years of her life observing him from afar, she knew his habits, his expressions… she knew when he was worried, when he was sad, when he was tired, when he didn’t have enough to eat or was in need of caffeine, she knew when he was happy, amazing, surprised, concerned… she knew how much he cared about what he did, and now she knew how much he cared about her too. Some days she had her doubts about it, but wasn’t impossible to be always positive, especially in such a hard relationship like theirs.

So to forget she just wanted to keep on kissing him and press all those negatives thoughts to the back of her mind and shut up the voice in her head that didn’t want to leave. It wasn’t just guilt anymore, now the voice was compelling her bigger fears out, it was daring Anouk to look at the things she had tried to ignore, those things she never thought about when they got together. But she was facing them now, one by one and she didn’t like them at all. She had always been a positive girl, believing their love could last, that it would be strong enough to get pass everything that was thrown at them and that they would be happy just by being together. She was a fool, being in love wasn’t enough sometimes and they were not happy at all. Sure she was happy by just being by his side but what about him? Wasn’t this making him miserable? How could this be a good thing if she was the cause of the tired tone in his voice, the look in his eyes, the way he was drinking tonight… Anouk’s body of course started to crave for something stronger, something that could guarantee her problems to go away for a good few hours, the promise of her past, something she knew and was comfortable with never calling her stronger since she drop it. But not being able to do so, and having Alexei so close gave her another idea of how to shut her mind to those thoughts.

He was tired, he was devastated and she couldn’t bring herself to hurt him more with the thoughts in her head. “You don’t need to know. It’s nothing important. Just remember whatever I do, it doesn’t matter how hurtful can be, it’s for your own good.” She smiled a bit at him, closing her eyes at his touch. She wasn’t ready to give up, she wasn’t ready now that she was so close to have everything she had ever dreamt of, now that she could touch him and kiss him and he was all of hers. Never mind she was sharing him with that woman, he was completely and absolutely hers because his heart belonged to her, their bond was so strong that hurting one would be like hurting the other. And to get those things of her mind she clang to him, kissed him, and she circled his neck for support when he guided her to the cushion and had her lay there. She was eager to have him, to have him making her scream while reaching the edge, her mind totally blank just filled by him. She tugged at his shirt, removing it and tossing it aside, she managed to kiss and remove it at the same time, never mind how she did it. But she couldn’t let go of his lips, the only thing that was making the difference between leaving him or not.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 742
NOTES, what about a bit more of passion, not so much that proboards will censor XD, and then fade to black and then CUDDLES and them feeling happy and drunk and much better <3

[alexei leon fournier]

Blaming himself was easier to do, because it meant that the guilt would only be on himself, he wouldn’t hurt Anouk by shoving the blame on her, but sometimes he just wanted to do it. To shove it down her throat and make her see how horrible he felt whenever he had the blame thrusted upon him. He knew the idea of a fake girlfriend and boyfriend was his, knew that everything that was going on now was because of him, but he had told Anouk if she wanted, they could pull themselves out of it and continue being the couple that they were, but she didn’t agree and he knew she didn’t agree because she wanted him to have a hard time. She wanted him to regret this entire thing and show her that she was right, but he was sure that he had shown her enough times already, he had shown her he felt annoyed, guilty, he was upset, he was devastated by how close she was to her fake boyfriend, heck, he wasn’t as close as she was with Sophia even! He had no idea what to do but this was her fault now, that was all he could think about or even want to say but he wouldn’t say anything to her about this anymore. It was time to just put this away to the back of his mind now and just have fun with her, just have fun kissing her and loving her and making love to her; that was the only thing, as well as the champagne, that was making him forget everything.

He wanted her now; they hadn’t had proper physical contact in a while. Sex wasn’t easy to have in a household where your parents were so loved up that they spent their lives inside the house and wasting themselves away with one another, it was what Alex and Anouk were doing, but sex couldn’t be on the cards every night. Now he just wanted her because he was guaranteed that this would make him feel good, that he could hurt her in the activity but it would only really cause her pleasure. He was sure she wouldn’t mind though because the way her lips were pressing against his made him quite sure that she wanted this as much as he did. Maybe the both of them just wanted to forget everything for a while and show one another how much they actually loved each other? It was better this way because Alex didn’t have to say anything, he realized that whenever he spoke, there seemed to always be problems and he didn’t want that, that’s why sex was better. At least that way she would know he still loved her even if he wasn’t good at expressing it through words. His rudeness towards her had accelerated quite a bit but now he was bringing it back in, he just wanted her to be happy and not sad. Who didn’t want that for their loved ones?

There was something in Anouk’s voice that told him she was lying; he knew she would lie anyway. Why would she want to disrupt this moment? “I’ll ask you tomorrow then, let’s not ruin tonight.” Sighing, he smiled tiredly at her, though he looked tired he wasn’t. His nerves were on fire, adrenaline rushed through his body like his body had been electrified. He kissed every inch of her that he could reach without his body from hers; he just wanted to be pressed against her. He kissed her nose, her throat, her neck, her jawline, her ears, forehead, and her lips, even her collarbone. Moving so it was easier for her to take his top off, he planted his lips firmly against hers. His hands moved underneath her top, crawling upwards until he reached her properly. Giving her a little squeeze, he moved his hands once more to the hem of her top and pulled it up, pulling her a little upwards and parting his lips from her for just an inch to remove the top before throwing it carelessly to the side. His lips reattached back to hers in less than a millisecond and his naked half was pressed flush against hers. Moving his mouth down, he kissed down her throat all the way to her bellybutton, moving his hands down as he went he pulled at the straps of her bra. Nudging it off quite easily, he bit the side of her hip gently. “I love you.” He sounded sort of animalistic, drunken sex was actually even better than he had imagined.

word count|| 769. thoughts|| sounds perfect! =)

[anouk lirienne fournier]

Did she love him? With all her mind and soul and with every fiber of her body. Did she want to hurt him? No, not at all. Then why was she doing it and why was she planning on doing it again? She might as well go kill herself again for all the good she was doing, and this was the way she wanted to protect him? To show him how happy she was of having him? Anouk was such a fool, risking both their happiness like this, hurting him in such a way, hurting both of them. He placed the blame on himself, she tried to place it on her and for once they were both agreeing it had been her fault, she didn’t imagine how painful could that be. But they were doing a great job forgetting everything about it, oh yes they were. She never had enough of kisses but now? She was aggressive about it, she was passionate, she was desperate to have him, to feel him and to close the gap that suddenly got between their emotions. This wasn’t sweet or cute in any way, it was wild, she was on fire and right now she could care less if their parents came right now into the house. They hadn’t been this close in a while and she had missed every touch of his, both of them were being rough about this and she absolutely ignored his words, doubting he was going to remember tomorrow.

She moaned and arched her back to press her body more against his, Anouk searched for his lips, those lips that drove her crazy and had her begging for more, those lips she loved the most and that couldn’t compare to anyone else. Her hands ran up and down his back, her fingers making patterns on his spine, enjoying every shiver of his body under her touch and enjoying her own shivers as her kissed his way down her body. She played with his hair too, kissing his head, his face… smiling down at him, satisfied. Yes, he loved her, Alexei loved her more than anyone else, and she didn’t have doubts about that. “You’re mine. I love you.” And that was all she could say gasping for air and totally lost in the moment.

– FADE TO BLACK –

Just some candles provided dimly light to the room, making it comfortable for them to be there lying in the semi-dark, their legs tangled together with the blanket covering them. She was resting her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat in the quiet room, her arms across his chest reaching to caress his face. God it had felt great, Anouk was so happy now, no need for words with them expressing their love that way, it had felt better than anything they could say, and it had been better than anything she had done before with him or with anyone else. She moved her head to look up to him, kissing his chest on the process. “You have quite an amazing amount of stamina.” She said chuckling softly, she wasn’t in the mood to discuss heavy matters now, in fact they all seemed useless after this, and her mind had been cleared of doubt and sad thoughts, restoring her back to normal. “Do you want more champagne?” She didn’t know if there was some left but Anouk got up slightly with one hand gripping the blanket to her chest and the other searching for the bottle, a satisfied smile on her face as she found it to discover they had some left.

Tonight was a night of celebration, and what a way of celebrating, she would have to leave more often if that mean they would have this great sex fest, she couldn’t recall a night she had been more pleasured than this one. That was because Alexei filled her completely, body and soul, and she had feelings involved in the love making, something that she lacked before with other guys. Every time Alexei and her got this close was a new experience for her, as if she had never been touched before and every touch sent a jolt of electricity down her spine. She also grabbed the leftovers of the dinner, suddenly hungry with the exercise, giving Alexei his flute of champagne and taking some pasta with her. “Here, I bet now it will taste better than before.” In the movies all the romantic lovey-dovey couples that always made her so sick showed their love for each other feeding their food to their partner, and Anouk had never tried that before, she couldn’t think of a better moment than now to start being sicken romantic too.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 788
NOTES, now she is waaay better mood haha

[alexei leon fournier]

He wasn’t worried about how they were acting with one another now; all he was focused on was she, her body and how she was reacting to him. Why waste this moment focusing on little tit bits that could be sorted out later on? He didn’t want to say anything out of the blue and just hurt her because he was sure that she was doing her best to hold her own tongue on him. He was desperate, desperate to feel her touch and kisses on him, being two, well almost three days without her had starved him of her and he was ready to go back into her, to make her his and to sow her why she had chosen him, because he was a great lover; because he truly loved her and just wanted what was best for her. He wanted her to be happy in his arms, not upset, not with tears streaming down her face, just happy and smiling because that was how she always looked beautiful. Their emotions were getting the better of them, they were both equally wanton, each ripping clothes as if their lives depended on it and as Alex felt her naked flesh against his, he couldn’t help but t let out a groan. He was back in heaven once more. He didn’t even listen to what she had to say, all he wanted was she and it was what he was getting too and he loved every second of it.

– FADE TO BLACK –

Leaning against the pillows propped up behind him, he held onto Anouk gently, the fire in his body had finally diminished and he was left content. A leg was propped up, bent while the other downwards, his body still pressed against hers as they cuddled underneath the blankets that were thrown hastily over the both of them once they were done. He took in a deep breath, his fingers twirling around Anouk’s hair as she rested on top of him, his mouth hover over her forehead, gently pressing kisses down on top towards her every few seconds when he felt like it. He loved tonight, there seemed to be an extra push, more fire, more adrenaline tonight, make up sex seemed to be the best type of sex really. He had never had angry, drunken make up sex, though he had turned softer and loving more so by the end of it because Anouk just looked gorgeous underneath him. Laughing, moving his slightly heavy head that had formed because of the amount of alcohol he had drunk, he squeezed her gently. “I know I do, I’ve always had great stamina, ever since high school.” Raising an eyebrow as he looked down at her, he pushed his lips outward hoping that she would press her lips against his. Smiling, he nodded his head; he could regret the hangover tomorrow. “Yes, more champagne is needed!” He watched her grip the blanket to her chest, before she could leave though, he tried a hand at tugging it off of her and rolled his eyes when it wouldn’t fall down.

Grabbing the plate from her hands, he placed it beside him as well as the champagne flutes and made her sit on top of him, turning her around so he could face her while they ate. Picking up the plate from his side, he picked at the pasta with his fork and placed it in his mouth, giving a half of it into Anouk’s. “Mmm, it may be cold but it still tastes good.” Shifting a little underneath her, he picked up his flute of champagne and drunk half of it down in one straight gulp, smacking his lips together and smiling at her. “I’m surprised you have a stamina just like me.” Winking at her, he let out a little laugh, now he felt better, much better than before; nothing was going to get him down now. He had Anouk, food, and alcohol and just finished having sex, what else could he have wanted?

word count|| 660. thoughts|| he is too!

[anouk lirienne fournier]

She was really comfortable there, resting her head in his chest, with him playing with her hair and kissing the top of her head, she was distracted drawing patterns in his chest, caressing his face, enjoying being peaceful and happy for the first time in three days. She closed her eyes and cuddled with him, nuzzling his chest. It was amazing how great this could feel, how she was feeling complete, perfectly well. Anouk sighed happily, not wanting to move, but she was feeling thirsty and also hungry. She chuckled, it had been great, so amazing, they weren’t careful and lovingly but it had been especial nonetheless, different and marvelous. She kissed his lips and shook her head, raising her eyebrow and smiling. “High school huh? I would like to know about that.” She got up and titled her head to look at him from above her shoulder, raising her eyebrow with a joking scold on her face tugging the blanket to keep it safely on her body. “Hey! Don’t try to strip me!” She laughed and took the champagne and food, smiling when she came back and he grabbed the plate and the flutes and making her sit on top of him.

Such a romantic air, finally happy both them and enjoying each other company. Once they had their house, the home they will create for them, every night would be like this one, every night they would be able to spend it together in a lovely way, no more fighting or worrying. Or so she hoped, maybe she was with her head in the clouds because of what just happened. “You know, eating sitting like this complicates things.” She said laughing and chewing on the pasta he gave her, offering him some too. Humming in appreciation she didn’t even commented on how much Alexei was drinking, because oh she was going to do the same. She gave a big gulp of the drink and made another face as the bubbly gold liquid made its way down her throat. She smacked his chest playfully and faked being offended. Truth was Anouk had stamina for both of them and maybe for a third person to spare. She had been having sex for like more or less four years and she didn’t waste her time looking for the right one, at all. She built up a lot of stamina while sleeping around with such a long list of guys she could barely remember all of them. “I have more stamina than you love.” she said winking at him and bending a little to kiss him, taking her time. “I love this night.”

She never wanted it to end because if it did they could always go back to their fighting and she hated that. Anouk wasn’t ready for their honeymoon state to end, at all, they had been lovey-dovey up until one, of those couples she couldn’t stand before and now she was perfectly fine with it being that way. Removing the plate from his lap she circle his neck with her arms and kissed him again, resting her forehead against him and smiling. “I want to show you something.” She said shifting a bit so she could turn and point to an old trunk at one side of them room. “There is where I keep safe my most important treasures, come take a look.” She got up with the blanket still pressed against her body and walked to the trunk, kneeling at its side and opening it. With a warm smile she opened it and took the first object, it was the rose Alexei gave her, beautifully conserved between the pages of a book her grandmother gave to her. “This is your rose.” Not far from there were some sketches of him, some she did when she first dreamt of him, some she did along those two years and half. “And there is one pen you gave me once, little after we met for the first time.” Her truck was full of old memories from when she was a child, her travels, her most important sketch books… and she wanted to share them with her most important person.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 698
NOTES, aww sharing her memories...

[alexei leon fournier]

There was a slight surprise for him that the both of them could just forget everything and go straight into sex, but it just showed how much they loved each other didn’t it? That they wanted love instead of fighting and that was what they ended up doing. He felt calm, calmer than before at least with her just lying down on his chest, her hair tickled him quite a bit but he liked it because it was she, it wasn’t anyone else. Everyone else was out of his mind, Nick, Sophia, his parents; all that remained in his head was Anouk and the warmth of her body against his. Who wouldn’t think of the woman you loved after making absolutely amazing love to her? Laughing, he shrugged his shoulders, a faint pink blush rushing forward and planting itself onto his cheeks.“Maybe one day…”Letting out another small chuckle, he was surprised at himself because of how easily he was laughing. Just a few hours ago he was silent, brooding and wanting to hurt something or even someone, but now all he wanted to do was hug and kiss and cuddle. See how easy it was just to make Alex change his emotions? Laughing, he shrugged his shoulders. “But I like you naked!” he pouted at her, hoping to keep his puppy dog routine up but he burst out into short laughter quite quickly.

The idea of owning their own apartment was great, before she had left the country for Spain with Nick, he had already paid a deposit on the apartment, now all they had to do was pay monthly rent and bills and that was that, they had their own apartment, they could go there whenever they wanted, do whatever they wanted. They could have sex and scream as loud as they wanted, have fun playing games, doing different things, painting…all that could be done without having to worry about people coming over. He laughed at her comment and stuck his tongue out at her lightly, “I like you on top of me.” Wriggling his eyebrows at her at his innuendo, he let out another laugh and just shrugged his shoulders once more, the burden in his chest was released and all he was doing was smiling, laughing and having a good time…he liked that. Rolling his eyes, he leaned back against the wall, eyeing her as she spoke and just having a goofy smile plastered on his face. Sighing contently, he nodded his head. “I know you do, but I’m slowly reaching your level aren’t I?” Raising an eyebrow at her, he smirked and tilted his head, just gazing at her with an immense love in his eyes. Leaning upwards to return her kiss, he gently nibbled her lower lip before letting go. “Me too, it was amazing.”

He wasn’t speaking about the argument they had before, the sour mood that had forced them to be distant, he was speaking of the love and the passion they showed to each other through the activity they did. That was the amazing part of tonight…as well as seeing her in over two days, who knew Anouk leaving for a few days would impact him this much? As she leaned up to kiss him, his arms circled her waist and he pulled her up a little, pecking her lips heavily before looking at her as they rested against one another. This was what love felt like, just wanting to see the other half smiling and being happy. The swirl of butterflies in the stomach and the content feeling that coursed through your body when you were with them. Raising an eyebrow in curiosity, he got up, following Anouk, but after putting his boxers on. Even though Anouk had seen him fully naked, he didn’t feel comfortable wearing nothing around her, it seemed like she didn’t either since she always wrapped the blankets around her body. Looking at the trunk she had walked to, he bent down with her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as she opened the first object.

Looking down at the flower that had been conserved beautifully, he picked it up carefully and twisted it in his fingers, before moving the flower and gently grazing Anouk’s cheek with it. Putting it back into its pages, he looked at her with a smile as she pointed to a pen he had given her once. To be honest, he had forgotten about that, but now he remembered. Smiling, his eyes gazed over the sketches of him, moving his arm from around her, he leaned forward and picked up the pictures, sitting down cross-legged, he went through each picture carefully, analyzing every detail. “I’m surprised…I knew you loved me, but I didn’t think you thought so highly of me. And now I know…” Moving onto another sketch of him he smiled, "Uh oh, you caught my bad side on this one, I look hideous here.” Shaking his head, he smiled though, “I love it, and I love everything…” Gazing up at her and locking eyes with her, he smiled once more. “But more importantly I love you ma cherie, tu veux dire le monde à moi et tu le sais.”

word count|| 871. thoughts|| he just loves her...a lot! =)

[anouk lirienne fournier]

Anouk managed to push those bad feelings and thoughts back; they weren’t needed when Alexei and her were together. She was happy and complete, and she didn’t anything else right now, just lying there, resting her head on his chest and knowing he was feeling as happy as she was and that just made her even more happy. Alexei’s happiness was her own, was much better than her own. She raised an eyebrow but said nothing, honestly she didn’t want to know, though she could handle it because past was past but she hated imagining that amazingly fit body of his hovering on top of another girl, making another girl feel this. But Anouk was pretty confident the same way he was unique for her, she was unique for him and there was no way he could have felt as great doing it with someone else. She felt a bit empty when she left his side but she knew it wasn’t going to be for long. She had discovered she couldn’t leave his side even for one second. “But I am cold!” She winked at him, not leaving the blanket at all. She couldn’t wait to be on their apartment, to have nights like this every day, to enjoy each other’s company every single minute without fear or interruptions. She shifted a bit in his lap, getting more comfortable though… it was making it difficult for her to concentrate. When he stuck his tongue out she bend a little and caught it with her lips, kissing him deeply.

She felt like showing him how much she loved him every second, the atmosphere was just so perfect, the way they were both feeling was so perfect too, she couldn’t help but be this romantic. “You love me on the top of you huh?” She straddled him with her legs, getting a bit closer the blanket falling off her body. “I might have some things to show you from this position later, let’s see if it’s true you are reaching my level.” Anouk loved his smile, his laugh, the way his chest moved when he breathed, the way he rolled his eyes, the way he titled his head sometimes to look at her sideways… she loved everything about Alexei and sometimes it was so damn hard to see those little things, especially when she was mad and her anger was focusing on doing harm . Right now though all those thoughts were shoved off her mind, being able to focus only on the good things, being able to focus on the immense love she felt for him. “And it’s not even close to an end yet.” She loved how his arms went around her waist, and dozens of images run on her mind making her feel hot all over again, it didn’t help she was naked and the place she was sitting at all, but she might leave those things for later now she had more important things. Seeing him reaching his boxers Anouk raised an eyebrow, it wasn’t like she was taking the blanket because she felt uncomfortable being naked around him but because it was cold. She didn’t mind though, that would give her the chance to take them off again, she snickered a bit as he sat down besides her.

He picked the rose and touched her cheek with it. That rose brought so many finds memories to them, so many great things to share… how much she loved him, and how much he loved her and how awkward the first time they were together was. She smiled as he went through her sketches, blushing a little. She locked eyes with him enjoying the feeling in her whole body as if electricity ran down her spine whenever he looked at her like that, she moved her hands to his face and kissed him softly after he spoke. “First, you don’t have a bad side. Second, I love you and I know you love me as much as I do.” Taking his hand she guided him back to their improvised bed sitting like exactly the same way they were before. This time there was no rush, no savage feelings, she could kiss him and enjoy it at her leisure, pressing her body against him, her fingers in his hair making it a mess. Gasping for air she pulled away after a good while, closing her eyes and trying to make her breathe even and to calm down her heartbeat. “I can’t wait for us to have our own place. For us to be like this every night, to be free.”

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 770
NOTES, she loves him too, she doesn't even want to think about leaving ='( ...

[alexei leon fournier]

Without her by his side, Alex always felt as if he had lost a part of him that he would never be able to get back. Even if she was just a few millimetres away from him, he just wanted her beside him, never too far and never too close where they would feel uncomfortable…though because he loved her he was sure that they would feel comfortable in any sort of position. Any position was best with her; no one from his past, none of his past relationships could ever match up with how Anouk made him feel because she always made him feel good. No girl made his stomach fill with butterflies, no one made him lust after them, Anouk was the only girl that could do that and he was proud of it, and he was sure she was too. Laughing, he shrugged his shoulders at her. “This room feels warm anyway. Are you saying after our work out you don’t feel hot?” Raising an eyebrow at her, he chuckled, allowing her to catch his tongue with his lips to kiss him. Returning her kiss, he made sue to kiss her harder so that she’d lose her breath; he found it amusing when that happened.

The romantic feeling hadn’t subsided at all, it was the anger and the rude words that had, but the romance and the love between the both of them could never disappear that quickly, they both loved each other too much to let each other go. There was no way Alex would be able to let Anouk go away from him anymore, he knew that from the moment she had gone on the car trip. There was no one like her and he just wanted her in his life. If she ever did leave…then he had no idea how he would survive, there probably would be no way that he would survive anyway, he just depended on her too much. He would never give her a reason to leave him, maybe his over protectiveness and jealousy would e one of the reasons as to why she would ever leave him, but no, he would control himself. There was no way he could go through her leaving him forever, that would just be too horrible. He needed her like she needed him, the both of them were just made for each other, that’s why they were in each others’ lives, that was why they were together now, they were just meant to be and no one could separate them, not Sophia and neither Nick. Chuckling as she understood his innuendo, he raised an eyebrow as her blanket fell from her body, moving forward he trailed his tongue along her collarbone, he was slightly terrified by how skinny she was, sometimes he would go slow just in case because he thought he would break her in half. “Well let’s have a bet on it huh? If I’m up to your level then you have to do something for me…but if I’m not then I have to do something for you. Oh…and I can’t wait to see what you’ve got in store for me…” Laughing, he looked up at her with both eyebrows raised as she spoke again. Smiling into the kiss, he kept her close, moving his head to catch a better angle of her lips as he kissed her. He wanted to go further but they needed a break at least once.

The rose reminded him of the night, the first night when he finally told her, face to face and not through a computer screen, that he loved her. The immense feeling of terror, nerves, coursing through his veins and his heart pumping away, was making him feel as if he was going to hurl at any moment. But it also reminded him of their first kiss, their first touch, how Alex had been so afraid to touch her in case someone came in at the wrong moment. It brought back so many memories of what they did on that first night. “Haha, of course to you I don’t have a bad side at all and I know, you love me a lot.” Squeezing her gently into a hug, he smiled down at her happily. Placing the sketches back carefully as she guided him back to their pillows and blankets, he sat down, pulling her down onto him as she started to kiss him. It was slow, sensual, everything that was there before but just slower and more passionate. Gently pulling at her hair, he pulled her face closer, pressing his lips harder against hers before they pulled back for a moment of breath. Smiling, he spoke in between the kisses he planted across her face. “Me..Too…We’ll be able…to do this all the time…”

word count|| 800. thoughts|| awww! he just thinks she's never going to leave him<3

[anouk lirienne fournier]

Leaving was a possibility that had been buzzing in her mind whenever they fought but it was quickly discarded away when they got back their normal pace. Anouk couldn’t imagine his life without Alexei, now that he was such an important part of her life she didn’t want to go down that road ever again. The pain and suffering had been too much to bear and she would rather be hurt because of him than be hurting because of his absence. She never had a serious relationship before because she knew it was a waste of time to even try, from the minute she fell in love with Alexei she knew he was going to be the one, and that no one other boy would be able to make her feel something. Anouk tried hard to avoid contact with Alexei back in that time because it set her heart on fire and throw it into a spiral of suffering and misery and even then it had been a painful pleasure, better than anything else she tried before with the random boy she was at the time. “I’m saying is winter and is cold even after all the exercise.” Of course she was burning whenever he touched her and he drove her crazy in such a way, her heartbeat always skipped a few beats not matter how much she should be used to his kisses.

She realized he was trying to make her lose her breath, and though Anouk knew she was going to end up losing it nonetheless, she decided she could match up and made him lose his too, so she decided to surprise him and use one of those tricks she saved for moments like this, she twirled her tongue around his, throwing it a bit farther into his mouth, then caressing his with hers and licking his lips afterwards. There was no space between them, and she loved it that way, whenever they were apart she felt empty and incomplete so when they were in the same room she always made sure to be close enough she could feel his presence but enough apart from their parents to not think it weird, though they were so busy with one another than they never paid much attention to them. This just showed how much Anouk wasn’t ready to let him go at all, how that would be the end of her and most importantly the end of him and she couldn’t let that happen. His happiness was the most important thing for her hence her dilemma, but right now it was the wrong path, right now she didn’t want to think about that. When he trailed his tongue along her collarbone she threw head back a little and groaned, moving a little so she would be even closer to him, her hands went down her hair to his face, her fingers gracing his chest and playing with his skin.

“You are playing with fire love and you will get burned!” Closing the distance she pressed herself against him full length, deepening the kiss though she knew he definitely needed a break to catch up, but he drover he so mad it was hard for her to hold on. Still she broke the kiss because it was the right thing to do, they still had time to drink each other later. The first night they were together was so perfect, even with the nerves and everything it had been so perfect because they were finally together. The rose was the reminder of that night thought it was in her memories as solid as a rock, just like their relationship. “I do love you with every fiber of my body and with my mind and soul.” And Anouk loved him like she loved no one else, there was so much passion between them, so much feelings and love it was impossible for them to not be together. It was meant to be, even if the road ahead was hard and bumpy and maybe at some point separated from the other’s road they were meant to be together at the end of it, no matter how they did it. She laughed as he planted kisses around her face. “It tickles!” she said laughing and pitching his hard abs softly, she sat properly on his lap, no space between them, not ever enough for air, kissing him back, her body back on fire. “I’ll get you tired though, with so much sex, I doubt you will be able to catch up with my pace.” She said laughing against his lips, brushing them with her softly with the slightest touch, teasing him into madness.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 780
NOTES, so clueless both of them of the hard future ahead >.<