ghosts of you||anouk · COMPLETE

[alexei leon fournier]

The idea of Anouk in another mans’ arms, in another country that was miles away, just having the time of her life was killing him on the inside. On the outside he was the normal Alex, the one who didn’t speak to people a lot, the one who always had a serious look on his face and didn’t seem like he cared about anyone. But on the inside he was dying, because what if the man, what if Nick was just wining and dining Anouk like he never had? What if he was intoxicating Anouk and she didn’t see Alex that way anymore? Maybe it would be better that way and maybe it wouldn’t. It wouldn’t actually because Alexei was in love with the girl, she meant everything to him now and to see her just go off without so much as a proper warning to Spain was literally tearing his heart apart because he had no idea what to think anymore. His mind wasn’t on his work anymore; it was just somewhere drifting along outer space, while his eyes were focused on a hazy sheet of paper on his desk. The weekend was hell; it was something that he never wanted to go through again. Anouk hadn’t called him or texted him, let alone emailed him. He checked everyday, trying to make sure that there was no problem on his side of the communications section and there was none, so what was the problem?

Seeing her name flash online finally on the day that she was due to return, he let out a sigh, a sigh that felt like he had been holding it in for so long…ever since she left practically. But the anger and the upset soon followed in and he was left feeling annoyed. She had gone, she had gone without telling him what country, apparently he had just sprung the idea when she was packing and he had to hear from his step mother where she had gone, faking his happiness for her and her new ‘boyfriend.’ Speaking to her, he didn’t know how to control his anger, his annoyance; it all just easily flowed out n his writing. There was no punctuation, no such excitement in seeing her back because he was finding it difficult to just be kind to her, he was finding it difficult to try and converse with her with such attention and care because he honestly thought she could be doing something better with the man that had taken her to an amazing country. The only significant thing that Alex had done in their entire relationship was giving Anouk a rose and agreeing to get married, that was it but Nick had somehow managed to take her to Spain and give her an even better time than anything he ever gave.

The fight soon ended shortly, he knew that he would never have the guts to take Sophia outside of this country, to take her anywhere she wanted to go because he was far too rooted to Paris, he didn’t want to leave anywhere except with Anouk. But why should it matter now since she had done exactly that without him? But he wasn’t going to, he loved her and didn’t want to cause her any more pain than how much he had already thrusted upon her before in the beginning of their relationship. Closing his laptop, he rubbed his fingers against his temple, his eyes closed as he tried to remove the migraine that was soon to be forming. A few hours passed and his migraine had still not gone, but now it didn’t matter because he was going home to be with Anouk. Everything without her had been lonely, his sheets and pillows still smelt of her but soon they had been fading because his step mother decided to air out his room so it was difficult to sleep in his room and if his step mother or father saw him going into Anouk’s room then they would start asking questions which he didn’t want at all.

Locking up the gallery behind him and leaving the back lights on, he pulled his collar upwards, covering his neck and some of his mouth; shielding it from the cold as he made his way home. He had a bottle of champagne in a bag and a pasta dinner which he had ordered from the nearest fancy restaurant and took it out for himself and Anouk to enjoy at home in either ones bedroom or even the art room that Anouk had. The walk home was simple, quick and he was there in less than ten minutes. Opening the door of the apartment, he unraveled his scarf from his neck and pegged it on the hook, which was followed by his coat. A navy, fitted jumper clung to his body as he made his way to the kitchen in the house and he plopped the bag onto the counter, rolling his sleeves back to embrace the warmth that was covering him. Sighing, he opened the microwave, pushing in the dinner that he had bought and turning the microwave on for five minutes. Leaning against the counter, his head was downwards and his arms across his chest as he waited for the dinner to be heated.

word count|| 884. thoughts|| boop!

[anouk lirienne fournier]

The weekend had been… good and bad. Anouk had spent the days counting the hours left to see Alexei, suffering because she couldn’t find damn coverage for her mobile to text him and there was no internet she could use to email him. And if she used the phone on the house Nick could overheard the conversation and Spain, miles away from her loved one and all alone wasn’t the place for Nick to discover what was going. Sure she had fun, but it wasn’t the same at all. It was as if every minute she had been away from him had broken her heart, bringing back memories from the past when she played with guys and suffered for not having Alexei by her side. There was no way to explain how her insides were screaming in protest when Nick touched her and kissed her, when he hugged her and when they shared the bed. She had his smell all over her body and she hated that. Though Anouk had been strangely comfortable around Nick during the weekend, there was no doubt he knew how to make a girl happy and spoiled her no end. But still, he wasn’t her Alexei, at all, and all of her had screamed in rejection at the difference. Now she was finally home and the first thing she did was call his name once she crossed the door, but he wasn’t there, he was at work and so were her parents. With a sigh the first thing Anouk did was take a shower to erase Nick’s smell off her, walked to Alexei’s room and took in his scent, the one she had missed so much while she was away.

She had been bleeding all along inside, outside Nick wouldn’t have noticed the difference but inside she had been dying without Alexei and now that she was in his bedroom it was as if the wound slowly closed, but the pain won’t be gone until she could hug and kiss him again, which was the only thing that had been on her mind all along. Running toward her laptop she went online to find there and a smile spread across her face… until he started to fight. Lately they always fought and it was always the same reason, their fake partners. Anouk only agreed to this because he needed it and now he was making it impossible, she had missed him so much that it was hard to believe instead of being happy to see her and have her back again he was picking a fight. It was as if they weren’t happy if they didn’t inflict more pain to their already hard relationship, like a competition, who could hurt the other more? The exact thing Anouk tried to avoid all the time, hurting him, but sometimes it was impossible not to do so, even when she bit her tongue and tried with all her might to stop the fight before it got bigger. Soon this one ended though, because they loved each other too much to be mad for long and especially after such a long, hard painful weekend without each other. Alexei gave her everything no other could give her, and their relationship was so deep in compromise, they were moving in together, getting married… he was the only one who could manage to do that kind of thing to her, to make her feel like one else. Alexei was special, and he was the only one in her life.

She heard the door opening and steps toward the kitchen, with her heart beating fast Anouk ran downstairs and flew toward the kitchen, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him in for a hug. Taking a deep breath filled of his scent she closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of his body that she had missed so much. “I’ve missed you so much. I love you.” Taking a step back without removing her hands she gazed into his eyes. Definitely no one could compare to him, no one could make her feel so good, so happy and now that they were together again she wasn’t hurting anymore, that pain that ate her up during the whole weekend vanished as if was never there in the first place. “No one can compare to you.” Hiding her face into his neck she smiled against his skin, her fingers softly playing with his hair. Anouk knew he was worried of her leaving him for someone else; someone who could gave her a normal relationship. She didn’t want a normal relationship, all she wanted was him. “Oh, the house, we are both paying for it, not only you, I can stand on my feet and I am not going to allow you pay for it on your own.” She wanted the house to be their house and she wanted to contribute paying it of course.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 820

[alexei leon fournier]

He didn’t even know what to think during the few days, it was a few days, and they wouldn’t have time to do much would they? But he knew that Anouk and her boyfriend had known each other for some time, so anything could happen in the two days that they were away together, it was just scaring Alex because he was sure that the man would be better. He was twenty seven years old, older than Alex, a businessman and apparently he could charm the socks off a toddler even if he wanted to. Alex wasn’t like that, he was different, and he was not like that at all. He couldn’t charm anyone at all, he was awkward, not social, and he was nothing like the boy that Anouk was ‘dating’ at the moment. The weekend was actually spent with Sophia, not too much because he tried to stay away from her but he was forced to interact with her a few times. Here and there, he took her out and it was obvious that the girl wanted to take things farther than necessary but Alex wouldn’t allow it. Every time he hugged Sophia, touched her or even kissed her, he felt awkward because it wasn’t Anouk writhing under his touches, it wasn’t Anouk’s thin lips pressed up against him, and there was no part of Anouk there at all. Even though Alex knew Anouk would be coming back that day he didn’t want to see her because he was angry with her, he was upset and he just didn’t want to have a face to face argument so that was why he went to work. His parents were out too so he knew she would come back to an empty house. It didn’t matter to him then because he was upset, and nothing mattered to him when he was in a bad mood.

But once their differences were settled he felt horrible, he should have left something behind for her or made her feel happy and welcomed when she finally entered the house. He wondered as to what she was doing in the house. Did she sleep? Go to his room? See a movie? He was worried that she wasn’t having a good enough time without him there, but he had to work and stop giving into her and going home suddenly no matter how much the urge inside of him was pushing him. He didn’t like the fights they both had, it was hurtful and annoying and it just made them both upset and he couldn’t stand Anouk being upset though for a second his mind would want her to be upset. It was horrible of him to ever think something like that but he wanted her to feel the pain that he always felt whenever she got off with another guy, whenever she went with someone and flirted with them; even if it was unintentional she was always with another guy and Alex was a selfish creature, he wanted the people who loved him, he wanted their attention on him he didn’t want them to love someone else. He was alright with Anouk and Cass’ relationship, the boy had been pronounced harmless by him a few weeks ago but her relationship with many other guys, especially Nick, made him want to curl up and scream at the world for being so cruel to him.

He didn’t even hear the flitted movement across the landing upstairs and the poundings that came down the stairs as his head was pounding enough to block out the sound. His hand was on his head and was quickly moved when he felt arms around his neck. Eyes opening a little in surprise and his lips widening into a small smile, his arms moved around, encircling her waist and pulling her close because he didn’t want to let her go at all. He didn’t say anything, just smiled as he took her in. Frowning a little when she pulled back from the hug, he looked at her, his arms still encircled around her waist and making sure she was pulled close to him, he looked at her. His head tilted to the side and he sighed, a soft smile still playing with the edges of his lips. “I know there isn’t, there’s no one who compares to you either. And I love you.” As she hid her face into his neck, he nuzzled his nose against her skin, inhaling her scent and feeling the warmth that she radiated from his body. He let out a sharp laugh, which echoed around the quiet house. The silence was disturbed for a few seconds by the last remaining beeps of the microwave and he looked at the microwave. Keeping her still wrapped around him, he walked backwards with her to the microwave, holding onto her hands so she wouldn’t let him go. Pushing her against the counter, he opened the microwave and pulled out the plate with his food. “Sure you are dear…how about this? We collect all your money and save it so we can buy better furniture later?” Smiling, he looked down at her before dropping the plate onto the counter behind Anouk, a curse left his mouth. “Fuck!” The plate was hot and had nearly brunt his skin. Removing his hand, he blew onto it quickly.

word count|| 894. thoughts|| boop!

[anouk lirienne fournier]

The first night had been the hardest, she had tossed in her sleep nightmares of the past hunting her down. Anouk had woken up a couple of times screaming and Nick had to hold her until she calmed down, which only made it worst because it wasn’t him whom her body was craving for but Alexei. The second night was the same again, more nightmares waking up to find he wasn’t by her side. Anouk hadn’t realized how much she needed Alexei up until that moment, how much she needed the reassurance of his body besides her on the bed or at least knowing he was down the hall if she needed him. Being apart from him didn’t do her any good; it was as if old wounds reopened and bled again, she couldn’t help but miss him with every fiber of her body, mind and soul. They were both hurting and that made it all the worst, Anouk was suffering for both of them because hurting him like this hurt her deeper than anything else, it was his suffering and not hers what mattered. That was the reason she couldn’t wait to get home, being in his room made her feel better. She smiled at the memories made there and touched the bed they slept at nights, she couldn’t wait to cuddle with him again, listen to his heartbeat, his scent and warmth all around her, so she could feel safe and complete again. Anouk was nothing without him, she couldn’t imagine leaving him for someone else, as much as that someone had to offer and Nick could offer her better things, shiny distracting things that at least did the suffering less tedious and made her feel comfortable around him. She would have fallen for him if things were different.

But as things were Alexei was the only one who could offer her what she needed, not wanted. Protection and a love that was deeper and louder than anything else in the world, and that was more important that those material things others could offer. Because no one made her feel like he did, no one could throw her world into such a state but him and no one could make her feel so special, lose control in such a way and also hurt her like she had been hurting. Pain and all it was much better than anything else she had in years, there was no return once she fell for Alexei and she knew it, for the better or the worst Anouk knew he was going to be the one, things turned out for the better but it was too soon to tell, they had a lot of things ahead of them and not all of them were pleasant. But she would rather spend the rest of her life with regrets, arguments and reproach of his morals with him than a happy calm life with someone else. At first Anouk had wanted him to suffer with this, she told Alexei he was going to regret his decision and she made sure he did, but who was she kidding? Revenge didn’t taste as sweet if he was suffering. It all didn’t matter anymore, she was back home and now all she wanted was hug him forever and feel his arms tightly wrapped around her like right now. He seemed tired and not in good shape, this had affected him more than she had thought. “You look awful, are you okay?” A frown of concern appeared on her face as she worried about him.

She laughed as he walked backwards trying to keep her close to him, truth be told she didn’t want to let him go either, she didn’t want one inch of space between them. Right now Anouk needed him, she needed his love and all this, and could care less if their parents walked right into them, no one would keep her away from him after such a long tiresome weekend. She frowned again and wrinkled her nose. “I have enough to pay half the house and also the furniture.” Those were the perks of having a rich daddy who spoiled his little girl no end, her father did a great living with his photography; he was really famous. Her eyes widened as he burnt his hand with the plate and she caught it quickly moving toward the sink and placing it under the cold stream of water. “You have to be more careful, love.” She said, once his hand was cold she took his hand to her lips and kissed his fingers. “Are you feeling better now?” She moved her lips from his hands to his lips and kissed him, his wonderful taste filling her with happiness and making her senses explode. “You have no idea of how much I’ve missed you.” Wrapping her arms around his neck again she pressed her body against his. “I promise I’ll never leave again.” And she meant it, if Nick ever suggested leaving again Anouk was going to flat refuse it even if that would bring a fight, better a fight with Nick than going through hell again for not being with her one and only love or fighting with him. As much as she had wanted to hurt him for fake-dating Sophia she couldn’t help but feel horrible when he hurt.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 894

[alexei leon fournier]

If you asked Alexei how the first night went for him without Anouk, well he wouldn’t have known what to say because he couldn’t even remember the night, it was just like a horrible nightmare, something that was pushed to the back of his mind and sifted out because he didn’t want to remember it at all. It was just difficult and painful for him to remember that night. Even though himself and Anouk didn’t always sleep together on the same bed and in the same room together, they were just across the landing form each other so there was no problem with that because he could always just jump into her bed whenever he wanted to and she could do the same. They would just end up curling into a ball within one another and then just cuddle until both fell asleep and woke up to the both of themselves in a tangled mess with Anouk’s head always somehow managing to end up on his chest. It was a common thing between the both of them, it was just something that always happened and he loved it, it wasn’t scary it was natural but her being gone made everything almost unnatural because he was used to the structure in his life with her being a participant in it. He realised that this was what he would have been missing in his life if himself and Anouk didn’t get together, he would feel empty, there would be a void in his life that wouldn’t be filled by any other woman apart from Anouk; she was his everything now and he realised it during the weekend that she was gone because he was so sure he would start cherishing every moment with her from now on.

He didn’t really bother to take care of himself during the weekend, before Anouk had come into his life he was always drinking coffee; he practically lived on the substance but she was always phoning him up, telling him to eat, reminding him to do the basic things that humans needed to do every day instead of being focused on work. Once she left, he had a coffee at least every hour, maybe just under, who knew? He wasn’t really counting, coffee was the thing keeping him alive during that weekend because her leaving had actually affected him. He hadn’t realised until then how deeply attached he was to the girl until she had left him to go off on a romantic weekend with her boyfriend. It also made him realise that he didn’t appreciate the girl more, he had to do the little things to make her happy and that was what he was hoping to do. He shook his head at her question, wanting her to drop it because he disliked the question. He knew she cared about his wellbeing but if she carried on asking if he was all right, he would be annoyed. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He tried for a smile which came out better than the first one he had given her; so he was on his way to being normal really.

There wasn’t even a length of air between the both of them because that’s how badly he wanted her to be close to him. He loved her too much and letting her go now was just going to be horrific for him. Rolling his eyes at her, he nodded his head. “Yes I know but…how about you buy the food every week, day and what not?” He liked being a gentleman, paying for things, even if it was a studio apartment he was paying for on his own he didn’t actually mind because he wanted to. He knew she had quite a lot of money given to her from Lenny, her dad did spoil her and he didn’t mind but he didn’t want her to let that money go to waste on the small apartment they were buying because it wasn’t big enough to spend so much over really. His hand curled into a fist, hoping to ease the pain and stinging away but it wasn’t working all that well, feeling the cold stream of water against his hand, he hissed lightly and waited for a second, watching Anouk as she kissed his fingers. Nodding his head he offered her another smile. “I’m fine.” As she kissed his lips, his arms went around her once more, the stinging in his hand still there but he didn’t care at that moment because all he wanted to feel was her and her body. Holding her close, he kissed her hard; how he had missed this! Rubbing his nose against hers like he always did he smiled against her lips, breaths coming out in short pants from the sudden kissing. “Good, don’t you dare because I don’t think I’d be able to handle it."

word count|| 813. thoughts|| boop!

[anouk lirienne fournier]

Sleeping in a bed with another man with no smell of Alexei’s whatsoever around her brought back unpleasant memories of the past, memories she had tried to lock for good at the back of her mind. Memories of when they weren’t together and how she used to wake up in a strangers bed, broken and in a perpetual state of pain and agony for the love she couldn’t get. Anouk was used to sleep with him now, and even when they couldn’t sleep together which was rare she knew he was across the hall. No, being apart from him had been hell, she hadn’t rested one second at all and the suffering hadn’t stop until she was back home with his ever presence surrounding her. But she hadn’t expected seeing him in such shape, he sure looked awful, as if he had got even less sleep than her, as if his suffering had matched hers in intensity, Anouk realized it was probably like that. She wrinkled her nose and brought her hand to his cheek, stroking it softly and smiling at him. She hated hurting him that much; it hadn’t been her intention at all. They just couldn’t live without each other; they couldn’t even be a weekend apart. “I am so sorry, so very sorry.” Whenever they were together they were always up close and touching, always. They were hugging tightly, kissing… and if they were with their parents even if they kept their façade up and running they always found a way of holding hands behind their backs, or a small squeeze, a simple touch… Anouk loved that, loved being always so touchy-feely with him because she had always been though she had always kept distances with him because it was painful back then. Now he was all for her.

“This is going to be our first house, our. I want to pay for it as much as you will, we are doing this together and we are both going to share costs.” Alexei was stubborn, both of them were and Anouk used to have a way of getting people to do what she wanted except with him, when it came to Alexei he was always the one getting things his way. But in this one? He could fight and complain all he wanted that she wasn’t going to give in at all. This moved to the back on her mind when he got hurt, Anouk tended to worry about him a bit too much and so the complain hadn’t left his mouth she was already taking care of it. “Just a bit more, you have to cold it down.” She said and he hissed and she kept his hand under the water until she was sure the skin was cold enough, drying it afterwards. Her eyes never moved from his, she was going to drink him in tonight, every inch of him, because she needed to spend the night with him and feel complete again. “Stop saying you’re fine, you will have to put something on it.” Kissing him always made her feel dizzy, and made her forget they were in the middle of the kitchen with the danger of their parents coming in at any given moment and find them there. Well that wasn’t going to ruin her moment with him, because she had missed him so much and this was just what she needed to feel alright. As he smiled she did too, having him happy was the most important thing for her. “Neither of us will, I am nothing without you Alexei, nothing at all.”

The smell of food slightly distracted her; she titled her head, still wrapped in Alexei’s arms and with her own circling his neck. “That smells good, what is it?” Removing her arms from his neck she took his hand and walked to investigate the food, she inhaled and hummed in appreciation. “Yum! That’s tasty! The art room?” She wanted some time alone with him and she knew in her art room she wouldn’t be disturbed at all, though it was a bit uncomfortable she had bought some big comfy cushions for the time they spent in there together. She titled her head again and kissed him deeply, enjoying every bit of it. The lack of this during the weekend made her realize how much she was getting and how much she had to cherish, Anouk had to appreciate every single gesture of his. “A night for just the both of us? I want to sleep cuddling besides you, and I want you to hold me very tight tonight.” She winked at him and laughed. Her body will notice the difference between him holding her and Nick.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 787

[alexei leon fournier]

Seeing her again made him realise how beautiful she was, of course he already knew she was beautiful but seeing her every day had just sort of pushed it underneath. Having a break from her, even though it was a horrible, terrifying break, and seeing her again made him realise that she wasn’t just beautiful, she was stunning. It gave him pride to know that she was his, that she was the girl in his life that he would marry and have buy his side when he got the chance to ever proposing. The ring was ready, everything was ready, his clothes were even ready, and it was just finding the moment to ask and finding the moment to tell people how he felt about her. He knew he was a horrible boyfriend, he should have had the strength to take everything on board when the truth came out instead of hiding behind a fake cover boyfriend and girlfriend’ hurting the both of them in the process. It seemed like it had kicked him in the ass, Anouk was right, he was going to be the one to regret this entire thing because he realised how much he loved her and how much he actually cared about seeing her in another man’s arms. Jealousy was never anyone’s best friend, it got in the way and ruined relationships but Alexei didn’t want their relationship to be ruined, even though at the beginning of the weekend he was oh so very close from hunting Anouk down in Spain and starting an argument. But now that he saw her once again, he realised how much this little idea of his was taking its toll on her and he just wanted to hold her and make her feel special again…because she was, she was the most special person in his life and he hoped she knew that. “Don’t be, this was all my idea, I deserve it.” Giving her a little smile, he bumped noses with her.

Laughing as she tried to justify her reasoning’s as to why she should pay the house, he just simply nodded his head. He wasn’t in the mood to have arguments with her anymore; he just wanted to be happy with her. Tonight was going to be a night of finding each other again after being lost in the weekend. Smiling, he just nodded his head. “Fine, I’ll let you pay for half the things. We shall share the costs.” Smiling, he just looked at her until the incident. Even when his hand was running under water, he didn’t want to keep his eyes off of her. Anouk was always worrying over him, like he was a little child and he worried over her...well he was more overprotective but it did mean that he was worried, he was always worried whenever she came home late in case she decided to go for a drink and then found herself in some alleyway with a guy. So many different thoughts always ran through his head whenever he was worried about her and he knew he had to stop that because it wouldn’t do him or Anouk any good at all. Nodding his head as she told him he just had to cool it down a bit more, he sucked in some breath to stop himself from hissing and being known as such a wimp for just a little burn. Rolling his eyes, he didn’t bother saying anything, he was sure once she got the chance, she would be the one putting something on his finger. He didn’t even think about his parents coming in, seeing her was just like a miracle, the fact that she didn’t think of even going with Nick again was just mind boggling for him but he loved it. As she spoke, he cut her off soon after, his lips attacking her hard; he just loved her so much.

Laughing as she became easily distracted by the smell of food, he looked towards the plate. “A pasta dinner, for both me and you.” Letting himself be dragged, he nodded his head. “Yes, the art room, I haven’t been in there since the beginning of the weekend.” Smiling at her, he grabbed the plate, this time carefully to make sure that he wouldn’t burn himself once more and because he didn’t want Anouk burning herself either. “Grab two glasses, I also bought a bottle of champagne.” Nodding his head over to the counter where he had placed the big champagne bottle, he smiled at her once more, his hand still gripped with hers. It was as if the both of them couldn’t let each other go, the weekend apart had done them more damage than he had actually thought it would. Warmly smiling, he nodded his head once more. “I would very much like to do that. We should just go to sleep in your art room, less chance of mum and dad coming up. We’ll take a few pillows and blanket up there as we go up.” Once he was sure they had everything from the kitchen, he carefully walked up the stairs with her.

word count|| 859. thoughts|| boop!

[anouk lirienne fournier]

It was hard for both of them, being like this, doing this, and she was just throwing more salt to the wounds so Alexei would hurt. She had wanted him to regret this, his decision, and though she had tried everything to contact him while she was out she couldn’t and some part of her told her this way he was going to learn what he was doing. She hated it though and it had been the worst weekend of her life and she wasn’t going to go away ever, nothing could ever make them apart and now she wanted more than ever to move in with him. Nick was always so busy, he spent half his time working and never had much time for her but that made things easier for her, way easier, because she could spend all his time with Alexei which was better boyfriend to her and… to Sophia. She hated thinking about her and Alexei together, the same way sure he hated thinking about her and Nick. But Alexei spent a lot of time with Sophia and Anouk… just spent a weekend with Nick so far, because Nick never had time to take her out. He was a workaholic and she hated it. “We need to forget about this all. At least for today.”

This was hurting them both, Alexei’s idea of having fake relationships was provoking more problems that the ones it was solving. But Anouk understood why they were doing it, that didn’t mean she liked it though hence the reason she tried to make him suffer. She knew that Alexei loved her and he would do anything for her, the same way she would do anything for him. “No, you don’t deserve it at all.” He seemed to be happy though, and as he bumped his nose against her she laughed a bit, closing her eyes for a second. Wrapping her arms around his waist and closing the distance of their bodies she pecked him on the lips, trying to make him look better than he was looking now. Alexei always gave them impression of caring only about himself, Anouk knew better than that in the past, he never cared much about himself and she had to call him and remind him he needed to eat, sleep and a shower. She called her to work, made sure he was eating well, even stopped at the gallery to bring some coffee and look how things were, because even if she hadn’t been much around when they weren’t together Anouk cared deeply about him and she had took care of him in the distance. Leaving for the weekend was like a reminder of the past in so many ways… but they had more important matters to discuss now that they were together. “Thank you. It’s very important for me.” She smiled brightly at him. Healing his hand she tried to make the burn hurt less than possible, she had to put something on it so it wouldn’t get worst because she was sure he wouldn’t do it. She laughed again as he attacked her and she wrapped her arms around him again.

“Pasta is great. It smells amazingly well!” She nodded as he agreed, though they only went to her art room whenever they wanted to have sex sometimes it was great to spend time there just cuddling and eating. She raised her eyebrow, unwrapped herself off him still holding his hand and went to pick two glasses. “Champagne? You sure are celebrating we are together again.” Anouk laughed and on her way she grabbed something for his hand. “I hope those cushions I bought would be comfortable enough for us to sleep.” She followed him upstairs and grabbed the pillows and blanket opening the door of her sacred place, the one she was sharing with him lately because she trusted him. She placed the blanket and pillows besides the cushions and sat in one of them, getting comfortable and tapping at her side so he will sit there. “So let’s eat! That truly smells yummy and sit here with me, I need to be close to you.” This felt great, amazingly well, she had missed him and this feeling and being close to him.

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OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 711

[alexei leon fournier]

He didn’t know if he wanted to hurt Anouk, it was still a hazy decision. He wanted to, there was no doubt about it because there was a little inkling in the back of his mind pushing him to do something that would hurt her. But then the moments of her attempted suicide came back again and he didn’t want to push her over the edge, he didn’t want her to think he was actually being real about the entire thing and he didn’t want to hurt her. He didn’t want her to suddenly pick up the razor with the intent of never coming back again because if she left then all the things that she did to hurt him wouldn’t even mean a bit anymore, it would just be her leaving him that meant a lot. So that thought was pushed out of his head, no matter how much she wanted to hurt him, no matter how much she provoked him or tried to get him to retaliate, he wouldn’t because he couldn’t stand the idea of losing he once again. Losing her would just be the end of his life and he would probably follow soon after; it was probably slightly tragic if you thought of it in a Romeo and Juliet way, but he was determined for the ending to change. With lips thinned slightly and tight, he nodded his head at her forward request.

Rolling his eyes, he held in a little sigh because he was sure that the both of them would start in that argument where they would go back and forth, with Alex telling her that he did deserve to suffer at her hands and with Anouk arguing that he didn’t deserve to suffer through her hands, though he really did and he was sure she believed in that just a tiny bit too because he was always being a pain in the ass for her. Every touch she planted on him, ever kiss she pushed his way just made him feel better about himself, as if she were coming home to him and being there for him, she was his now. Only his and he had to remember that…after all she had already agreed to marrying him, she was his and no one else’s. He did sound controlling, that he knew, there were a few controlling elements here and there wen you saw how he acted, but he didn’t want to control Anouk, that would never be one of his intentions. “I know it’s important to you that’s why I’ve stopped arguing.”smiling, he let out a little chuckle and just shrugged his shoulders at her.

Nodding his head, he inhaled a little of the food and his stomach growled at the lovely smell that ran through his body. “I know, I ordered it from the nearest restaurant as a take away.” Laughing, he just shrugged his shoulders at her. Yes he was celebrating her return tonight, he was celebrating her coming back to him, their relationship still being intact after all the problems that they went through. He was celebrating everything and most importantly her, because she was a shining star in his life no matter how cheesy it sounded. Walking into her art room he looked around, it was still the same, slightly messy room that it was before. “I’m sure the cushions will be comfortable.” Sitting beside her after closing the door behind them as she patted the seat beside her eagerly, he placed his plate onto his lap and handed her plate to her. Picking up a fork, he took a huge bite, and then looked over at Anouk. “God this is yummy, I feel like I haven’t eaten in a long time…” Which was true, he had been living on coffee after all for the past two days. Snuggling into her, he leaned back onto the nearest wall and had another bite.

word count|| 655. thoughts|| boop!

[anouk lirienne fournier]

It was plain stupid hurting each other like this, the stupid game they had going on to see who could hurt the other more. Anouk never regretted a thing up until she started dating Alexei, it hadn’t been her style regretting things she did or said because that was just her, but since she was with him things changed a lot. There was a specific moment in her life she wouldn’t be able to forget and that she was going to regret until the day she died, her attempt to kill herself, that stupid moment of weakness. It had been totally unintentional, she didn’t mean to do that, she went for a shower after pain and rejection took over her, she was completely decided to go on with her life… but her body and soul wanted otherwise, the pain had been too much, bearing with everything just got its way into her and her strong wall broke down as if it was nothing more than paper. Once Anouk realized what she did, it was too late and who cared anymore? Damage was done; she might as well go on with it; those where her thoughts, her last thoughts before losing conscious. She didn’t think about hurting him or the whole repercussion it will have, she wasn’t going to stay to see it anyway. Anouk never thought of the possibility of being saved on time just like she never thought of killing herself. And there she was now, being held by him, and instead of enjoying his company both of them were thinking of something else. She had to start appreciating him more or their relationship will end up on a bad spot.

But they also had good moments, incredible good moments like when they decided to get married or buy their own house. They were planning a life together and that was more important than anything else. Anouk was too young to marry yet, and they had things to solve before that like the talk with their parents. Alexei gave into her in this one, which was good, she wouldn’t have allowed him to pay for the entire house at all and if they were doing this together then they will have to star sharing costs. Once they agreed on something at least the food of course called her attention. “Good idea baby.” Taking the things she kissed him again softly, happy that they were together again, it was sure something to celebrate. Who would have said they were apart just two days? Her art room, the place where she created her art, full of white canvas, art supplies, sketch books… the floor was smeared with paint, the walls were the same, and it had things everywhere. It could look messy but she knew where all her things were. Anouk loved that room and it was going to be hard to leave it behind once they moved. “Had you been living on coffee again? Can’t you take care of yourself on your own?” She was slightly annoyed, not by the fact that she had to take care of him because she loved doing so but because he didn’t want to take care of himself and she hated that. He did the same she used to do but in a different way. “You didn’t sleep, you didn’t eat… Alexei! What if you fell ill?” Anouk was terrified of him leaving her; she couldn’t live in a world where he didn’t exist, so it was essential that he took care of himself if for some reason she couldn’t be there.

She rested her head on his shoulder picking the food with her fork and eating slowly. Anouk hadn’t been really hungry for a while and now she was getting back her appetite which was great, that meant she was on her way of a well recovery and for sure she looked better than when she was released from the hospital months ago. “We should talk to mom and dad, about moving I mean. If you are paying for the apartment is the least we can do, a fair warning.” She still couldn’t explain how their parents hadn’t realized at all how they felt about each other, but they were so comfortable in their little world, newly married and all to care about what was going around them.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 725

[alexei leon fournier]

It wasn’t real. That was his first thought when he had realized he had fallen in love with Anouk, it was just probably some sort of phase. Anouk was an attractive girl so maybe it was just his manly instincts that just responded to her love because he knew she would do anything for him since she already did before she had revealed her big secret. At first he thought he was going crazy in seeing his own step sister like that, but now all those thoughts be damned because he was in love with her, he did think she was the most amazing person to enter his life and he did think, well not think, he knew that there was nothing that could come in between the both of them because the both of them always told each other that. Even through all the heartbreak, here they were, standing in their kitchen with his arms around her and her arms around him, they were still strong and he was sure at that moment that if they could survive being apart from one another for a weekend with other people…then they really could survive anything, right? It was a rare moment when he was very sure of himself, but right now that moment was actually pretty strong.

What did it matter now if their parents didn’t accept their relationship? It seemed as if Anouk’s easy going attitude about their relationships was rubbing off on him, he was sure that their parents wouldn’t even comment on it, they’d be happy for the both of them and everything would go right. Even though the Alex that always worried was nagging through his mind, trying to get to the front and warn him that anything could go wrong at any moment. In fact it was already screaming at Alexei to stand away from Anouk just in case their parents decided to enter the house and then the kitchen. But forcing it to the back once more, Alex just stood with Anouk; a happy, goofy smile on his face. Letting out a small smile, he nodded his head at her and winked when she called him a ‘babe.’ He wasn’t used to calling her anything other than ‘beautiful,’ ‘darling’ or even ‘honey,’ and that was about it, he never bothered to – as he liked to think of it – degrade her by calling her ‘sexy,’ or ‘babe’ or whatever though he was pretty much sure she wouldn’t even mind being called something like that.

Sitting back, he leaned against the wall and took in a deep sigh, rolling his eyes at her as she began to worry over him and almost shout at him annoyingly as if he had wanted to live on coffee, he had just forgotten that was that. “No I can’t, and anyway, I’m alive aren’t I? If I fell ill, all I’d have to do is shove some food down my throat and that’s that…” Sighing, he picked up his fork once more and stabbed a piece of pasta before shucking it into his mouth. Chewing a little with annoyance, he took another deep sigh to just get rid of all the bad emotions he was feeling; it was supposed to be a good time now, nothing bad and nothing horrible. Looking at her with a warm expression, he smiled once more. “I’m stronger than you think Anouk, I won’t fall ill.”

Tilting his head to the side to lean his head against hers, he chewed quietly for a few seconds, taking in the deliciousness of the food. Closing his eyes, he picked up the champagne glass and opened his eyes a little quickly as Anouk spoke. “You mean about us and then moving out? Or about ‘me’ buying a house and you living with me for some time?” Looking at her confused, he leaned over her to grab the champagne bottle, shaking it lightly he used the cork he had found downstairs and opened the bottle quickly, filling up his glass with the fizz so that it wouldn’t fall around Anouk’s special room. “Want some?”

word count|| 685. thoughts|| boop!

[anouk lirienne fournier]

The night Alexei confessed was the best night of Anouk’s life, not even when they had sex, or when they spent their first night sleeping in bed together, or when they stayed in Sydney… No, nothing could compare with the first time she heard those words left his mouth because that little instant that lasted seconds changed her whole life forever. It was incredible how little things like that, like three words and a second could throw a life upside down for the better and sometimes for the worst. But it had been for the better and Anouk would never be able to forget that. Alexei had been a hard one to get, for two years and a half she dressed for him, annoyed him, tried to make his attention focus on her, tried to get him jealous and nothing worked. It didn’t matter how many boys she sleep with and how many boys walked pass by him he never cared at all, up until she confessed and everything went to hell. Some days Anouk had her doubts about this, about Alexei loving her and not doing this out of pity then she gazed into his eyes like now and she just knew he loved her, with all he had. Spending the night with him, sitting in her art room and eating pasta was her definition of a perfect night. She wrinkled her nose when Alexei sighed as if she was being a nuisance, all she wanted was for him to be safe, and she needed to make sure he could take care of himself if she had to leave for some given reason.

“Well excuse me for worrying about you! You act like a kid, Alexei you can’t do that. What if I have to leave for some reason? What are you going to do then? Starve yourself to death with the help of coffee?” Anouk was a bit annoyed at him, and he seemed to be annoyed too but she didn’t care, this time she was right and he knew it. She rubbed her nose against the skin of his neck still worried about him. If he ever fell ill she was going to take care of him, and if she wasn’t there then she would pick the first place, car, bus whatever she could to reach him. If he ever got seriously ill and died on her… then she sure was going to follow him. She caressed his cheek with her fingertips and then she touched his lips before letting her hand drop. “I know you are strong Alexei, but don’t do that again. You need to take better care of yourself, do it for me please.” She sighed knowing he just would forget once again if she left, Anouk also felt horrible being apart from him but she knew he would get upset if she stopped eating or did stupid things so she took care of herself. She was surprised Sophia didn’t take better care of him while she was gone, because Nick sure pampered her. A small smile appeared on her lips that she had to quickly suppress, why did she smile when she thought of him?

She looked at Alexei and laughed at his face. It wasn’t the moment to tell their parents, not at all, they had to be crazy to do so just now. “About you buying a house for us to live. Mom will be thrilled to know we get along so well as to live together and I think dad will also be very happy.” She frowned and took another bite of her pasta, nodding when he asked if she wanted some champagne, tonight was a night of celebrations and she had better hold of herself. “We are not ready to tell mom and dad, we have to wait a bit more when things are all settle down, like the house and we breaking up with our covers.” She sipped from the drink and made a face, forgetting how bitter champagne could taste and swallowing. “We also have to call my dad to help us smooth the way… that will save a lot of ugly moments in the future.” Anouk very much doubted her mother was going to listen to her dad, but when it was about her they both tried to listen to each other and this was important so it was going to be of great help.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 739

[alexei leon fournier]

There were still some worries after everything of course, I mean, why wouldn’t there be? Both were step siblings, something like this was taboo, unheard of openly and so many people already knew about it; guaranteed it was Anouk’s friends and he doubted that they would do anything to make her upset, he just didn’t want so many people to know. Cass, Gareth, Conan, Ike, Scarlett...they all knew everything and he was sure there were many more who already knew as well; he just didn’t know. What was the point of being in the relationship then if so many people knew? Guaranteed they were fine with it all, but if word got around, if something happened and someone let slip suddenly...what would people, what would the society think? He just couldn’t help but to think like that and even though the idea in his mind was slowly deteriorating, it was still there nagging its way through to try and make him even more unstable than he was before as well as conscious.

He didn’t look at her as she continued to rant about how she cared about him, if she really did then she wouldn’t have left and she would have stayed with him, but he forced himself not to say anything about it because the both of them had just recently made up and he didn’t want another fight. That’s all that they did lately, fight, fight and fight some more. It was as if it was the only thing they can too, sure it was his fault for even suggesting the both of them to get a cover boyfriend and girlfriend, but she didn’t have to do things like go with her boyfriend to Spain just to make him upset and regret his decision. He was sure that there was going to be more to come his way, more plans up her sleeve to make him cry and regret, but he was going to be ready for it and appreciate it because she was doing it for him...in a weird twisted way. It was complicated in his own mind to even understand it all He wasn’t going to say anything though, so when she finally finished speaking, he took a deep sigh and just nodded his head. It was unnatural of him to feel so annoyed...well to feel so annoyed lately because before Anouk did use to annoy him when they had first met as siblings and when she tried to get him to like her by winning him over and nudging her way through into his life. Nodding his head as she asked him to take care of himself, not for him but for her, he didn’t want to speak because he was annoyed. Well the good thing was that he was alive wasn’t it? And she wasn’t even noticing that, he was forcing himself to eat but he didn’t bother with it because all he could think about was her eating with Nick, on the sofa, with her legs draped over his lap, or her feeding Nick his food and the man doing the same things...it was all just playing over in his head throughout the entire weekend he didn’t hear from her.

Looking down a little at her, he thought he saw a hint of a smile on her face; it was something different though, she never smiled that when she was with Alex, so why was she smiling? It was a little mischievous, as if she were hiding something from him. “Why are you smiling, hey?” He tried to sound polite, easy and much happier than before, and at least it came out that way; in fact he was just curious because she did seem a little different; he hoped it was just his imagination though. “Oh yeah...they’ll be happy to know that.” Smiling, he nodded his head at her, a little chuckle escaping from his lips as he did so. Taking another thoughtful sip of champagne properly, he nodded his head. “Yes, let’s not give them too many shocks all at once, it’ll be better for them to digest our departure first before they realise how close we really are.” Keeping his glass carefully to the side and out of harm’s way in case he accidentally knocked it over he took another bite of pasta, but his appetite was slowly going and he had no idea why. Nodding his head once more, he realise all he wanted was the alcohol , so removing his plate off of his lap, he put it to the side and grabbed his glass again and filled it to the rim with the bottle once more before taking another long sip. “Yes, your dad will always be of great help.”

word count|| 792. thoughts|| boop!

[anouk lirienne fournier]

Anouk wasn’t worried about what people thought of what they were doing at all. Alexei and her weren’t blood related, for all people knew they could be perfectly strangers and the fact their parents were married meant nothing at all. Her friends knew about it, almost everyone knew about it and they all approved of it, there was nothing wrong in this, and she hoped their parents would see it that way too. Anouk looked up at him, knowing he wasn’t caring about what she was saying and caught the tiny expression of pain and annoyance. She shifted her body and kissed his neck softly, planting tiny little kisses up his neck to his jaw and then his mouth. She didn’t want to fight, they had enough of those on a daily basis and she had missed him to the point it was painful. He didn’t say anything, apparently they were thinking alike, none of them wanted a fight tonight. She was hurting him more than she expected with this all so she made a metal note of not doing it ever again. Sure Anouk wanted him to regret his decision but she didn’t want him to suffer to this point and she hated having him mad at her. When she pulled back from the kiss she looked into his eyes and smile, trying to reassure him that she will be there until the end. Then she want to her plate, she noticed Alexei was kind of acting weird, that something was eating him up. She didn’t want to ask though because he was annoyed enough as it was.

The weekend she spent with Nick had been quite good, he knew how to charm a girl and how to keep them by his side, he pampered her and showered her with love but Anouk had felt lonely during the entire time and she didn’t act as lovely with him as she acted with Alexei. She saved that side of her for him; with Nick she was her old self that was never lovey-dovey with anyone. She was caring enough though just to not raise doubts in Nick’s mind and everything. She snapped back from her thoughts when he asked her why she was smiling. Anouk shook her head and looked at him. “Because I feel like it. I’m happy when I am with you.” And it was true, just not totally true. She had been smiling because whenever she thought of Nick it was her reaction, well he was a great guy after all and managed to make her laugh a lot. She nudged his neck with her nose and kissed his skin again, taking in his scent. How much she loved him. “Not to mention it will be safer for us, if they have a big fit we have a place to escape to.” Their own home… sounded like a lot of compromising to put up with but to hell if she wasn’t excited with the idea. It was the most wonderful thing that had happened to her in a very long time. “Are you not hungry?” Anouk looked up at him and shifted again, removing her head from his shoulder. She was worried; he seemed different and was acting different.

Placing her plate aside she got up and sat in front of him, she looked carefully at him. “I don’t want to annoy you, but I want to know what’s wrong with you, I want to know what’s going on. We shouldn’t keep things from each other.” Secrets were bad, and she knew that first hand. She had been hiding things from him for a long time though that was better hided as the results were worst than expected when she finally mustered the courage to tell him everything. But now that they were together they were supposed to tell each other the important things at least. Anouk wasn’t keeping things from him at all anymore… except all the suffering she went through with withdrawal and that even he knew now. “I love you. And I told you that night at the boat that this was going to be hard and painful but it’s worth it.” She bit her lip and looked down, taking his hand, to hide the pain in her eyes as she braced herself for the next words she was going to say. “But if this is too hard for you, if at some point you can’t handle it anymore. I won’t blame you if you leave me, if you want to break this.” She kept her eyes low, not wanting to see the reaction at her words. Anouk didn’t want him to leave at all and he could know that for the way she was gripping his hands, but she couldn’t keep him if he didn’t want to stay.

----

OUTFIT, here
WORD COUNT, 805

[alexei leon fournier]

He knew there was no worry in Anouk’s head, all her friends agreed, everyone seemed happy that he was a perfect choice for her and what not. But what about his friends? Albeit that he didn’t have any but the few that he had, what would they say? What would they think about him dating his stepsister? His business associates? His clients? What would they all think? Would it affect his gallery in anyway? Sure, none of these thoughts would affect Anouk because she wasn’t as attached to these people and places as much as he was, but he was and he wanted to save his place. Was he going to put his gallery and friends and clients before Anouk? He had no idea, the idea n his head was most likely yes, but he wasn’t sure at all. The situation would have to arise itself to him otherwise he would have no idea what he was going to do. But he was sure, that like any good boyfriend, he would choose Anouk because the both of them had gone through so much not to be together by the end of it. Even though his jaw was slightly tensed and his teeth were slowly gritting into each other he sighed as she began planting soft kisses onto his neck and up his jaw. Closing his eyes, he returned her kiss slowly, still slightly hesitant for the beginning but he became used to it and kissed her hard.

He had misses her kisses, her touches, ever since she had gone away. That idea made him want to stop the kisses all together because she probably had kissed nick, she probably touched him the way she was touching him now. He didn’t want to make a big deal out of this though so when she finally stopped the kissing, he just nodded at her, smiling warmly as she reassured him about something that he was still unsure of. He just didn’t want to make her feel even more guilty than she already was feeling; he didn’t want that and he was sure that she wanted this night to be ore gentle, calm and perfect because of what the both of them had gone through throughout the weekend. Smiling, he nodded his head at her answer even though he felt as if she was hiding something from him. But why would she? She was always honest with him; she never hid anything from him and didn’t sugar coat things so why was she doing this now then? Planting a kiss on the top of her head, he smiled once more. “Good, because I want you to feel happy when you’re with me.” He didn’t think anything of Sophia, didn’t smile when her name came up, didn’t really even show a reaction but maybe he should look more happy? She was a very pretty girl after all and she was always worried about him, during the weekend she had actually brought him food to the gallery when she realised he was living on coffee for some time. It was…nice of her to do so, she was nice. He was taken out of his little thought when Anouk nudged his neck with her nose and smiled at her, much better than before at least and then looked down.

“I don’t know why…but I do feel they won’t react in the way we think they will…maybe they will but maybe it’ll be toned down?” he shrugged his shoulders at the idea. Shaking his head, he just pulled a face at the plate beside him and continued to finish off the bubbly, fizzy thing that was in his glass. Watching her as she moved to be sitting in front of him, he waited until she was finished speaking completely. Moving his arms, he pulled at her hands with his own so that she was sitting in his lap and looked up at her with a small smile. Nudging his nose onto where her collarbone was, he just shook his head. “You’re very stupid if you actually think I’m going to leave you after everything, I love you OK? And nothing is wrong.” He was lying, he knew that and she knew that very well, but he was trying to avoid a fight so he hoped she’d at least understand that.

word count|| 723. thoughts|| boop!