WON'T BLACK OUT

[ciaran cassidy corbett]

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[classy=postingbg]What a long way away he was from the Cass that came to Paris for the first time. It hadn’t been that long AGO AND YET HE FELT like a completely different person. He was still childish though, he was still a little bit of a monster when it came down to annoy people and like hell he’d stop being a slacker at school. On the other hand, he had a boyfriend now, which was something he swore he’d never get. Boyfriend or girlfriend, he avoided getting both since he felt they only complicated things. Settling down with someone meant he would feel entitled to do certain things… like being loyal. Oh how hard it was for Cass to be loyal to Gareth. It was hard and easy at the same time. He liked to flirt, he liked to play with people and more importantly, he liked the attention he received when he was interacting with others. Then he just had to stop for a moment and think about Gareth’s face and he just felt like pushing whoever he was flirting with away. Another huge indicator that he had changed could be found in his current state of mind. Cass had never felt lonely in his entire life. He was always hopping from one party to the next one and while he did rely on a few people to keep him entertained he could always find ways to replace them with others when they went missing or Cass shifted around. He felt lonely though. First Anouk left. She did explain where she was going and how long she would be gone but leave it to Cass to tune out her every explanation and just leave the ‘I’m leaving’ part in his head. Then Aerona. She left too and Cass was just devastated. And at last but not least, Gareth left too. He left too for important reasons, visiting his family and having to take care of personal issues had to be important, right? If he were the Cass from old days he would’ve gone down the selfish route and begged Gareth to not leave, but he really had changed, even if it was only a bit. Things were way better now. They were all back and Cass had no reason to feel lonely anymore. He didn’t have to avoid people and lock himself in his studio with enough Chinese food to feed an entire army. Yes, food was the way how he dealt with sadness, what other way? He only painted when he was in a good mood after all. But anyway, they were back, Cass was a happy clam and everything was as if nothing had happened. His brain had the magical ability to just erase whatever bad things he had gone through and leave the good ones. Quite an amazing ability if you took in consideration how much people tended to live in misery about the past. During one of his depressive-food-filled states Cass stopped and wondered about Aerona. This wasn’t the first time he resented her absence. Cass remembered clearly how he felt when he stood there, waiting for her to arrive for their usual summer meetings thinking about how he would finally ask her out. Well that obviously never happened and in the end Cass contented himself with the thought that some things just weren’t meant to happen. Plus, he came to find her all these years later, maybe in different circumstances and maybe she didn’t remember fuck about him but they still managed to continue being friends. Which led to this very moment~ Cass sat on a small lawn field in parc des buttes chamont (he obvs couldn’t pronounce, let alone spell that), waiting for Aerona. His usual red and blue backpack rested by his side as he stretched and laid back, arms behind his neck serving as a momentary pillow as his eyes got lost in the green and blue from above while he could still listen to the soft murmur of a nearby waterfall. He made a quick mental note to drag Garbear to this place so they could make out or something. Yeah, his mind was still in the gutter, and not even a thousand depressions would drag it out of there. Anyway, Aerona wasn’t late; for once in his life Cass was early as he noted from a quick glance to his phone. Smirking his ever playful cat-like smirk he pulled his other hand from underneath his head and quickly started typing a message. ’Did you get lost again?’ He pushed a button and the message was off, sent to Aerona. Cass made it customary to tease Aerona about her memory problems. He was pretty sure she got enough pity from everyone and pity had never been his forte. Making fun of people and lightening their mood was, and he knew Aerona understood it as well. Now he just had to sit and wait, and he and his best friend would sit their asses there all afternoon and have a good time~ [/classy]	[atrb=style, vertical-align: top;][atrb=style, background: #dcdcdc;][classy=notesbg][STYLE=font: 30px courier new; letter-spacing: -1px; width: 100px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: -10px; border-bottom: 1px dashed #000000; line-height: 25px;]NOTES[/style] <333333 [STYLE=font: 30px courier new; letter-spacing: -1px; width: 100px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: -10px; border-bottom: 1px dashed #000000; line-height: 25px;]WORDS[/style] 841 [STYLE=font: 30px courier new; letter-spacing: -1px; width: 100px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: -10px; border-bottom: 1px dashed #000000; line-height: 25px;]TAGS[/style] aerona <3 [STYLE=font: 30px courier new; letter-spacing: -1px; width: 100px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: -10px; border-bottom: 1px dashed #000000; line-height: 25px;]CREDIT[/style] [STYLE=font-family: ms gothic; font-size: 12px; text-transform: uppercase;]BY jumpstart! of btn, ote and ls[/style][/classy]
[cs=2][classy=borderradius][STYLE=margin-top: -5px;]I WON'T BLACKOUT[/style][/classy]

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[aerona elen evan]

SHE COULD BE A JOAN OF ARC

She didn’t know exactly the reason why she left in the first place; she just knew she had to. Leave to Aerona to do things in the heat of the moment, without thinking and then once it was done start to think about consequences or regrets. She didn’t exactly regret going back home but she had to pay quite a high price because of it. It had been a good decision anyway, she had discovered a little bit more about her nightmares but a lot of questions were still unanswered and her life kept being a mystery. It felt good being back at Paris, no doubt, she had missed the kind of life she was leading there and she would be lying if she said she didn’t miss people. Aerona wasn’t sure she was a people’s person but lately she had found herself longing to be with her friends, especially Cass who she was about to meet right now. Chris also, she had missed him a lot but it was a complete different history. One of the reasons Aerona went to her hometown was to discover a little bit more about the boy who had followed her all the way to Paris and so far she had come back empty handed, no one wanted to talk about him and no one could provide any information.

It was quite strange because as it seemed they had been dating for quite a long period but everyone was afraid to talk. Aerona had experience some… strange things when she was with him, like being suddenly afraid and some anger flashes of him that she didn’t like and somehow felt familiar… like falling into a familiar pattern back again. Her mother, who usually wouldn’t care about talking bad about the people she hanged with, didn’t say a word about Chris, just that they both looked quite happy whenever they were together and in all honesty that wasn’t saying much. It was as if they were trying to keep a terrible secret but… wasn’t it stupid? If it was so terrible, if he was such a guy then why letting her making the same mistake again? This time, though, Aerona was much more different that the girl who used to walk those streets back home. She took a deep breath and looked up at the sky as a smile crossed her face, yes, it was all really different and she was back to her ‘normal’ pattern of life now away from all the memories and reminders she had pressure upon herself. She was on her way to the park to meet Cass and have one of those happy days, she remember how sad he had looked the day she left and how… down he seemed when she came back and he showed up at her door.

Aerona hadn’t been at her best lately, migraines and nightmares kept her awake at night and the few hours she had of rest were always interrupted by her mind. Things were nailing her down but she fought back to keep surviving and after the hospital incident… things were changing for the better. She faced her past, even if it was only a tiny bit and the moment she had the chance she ran back to Paris, at least now she had more or less making peace with her parents. She never understood why her parents felt so guilty about the accident, maybe because she had been the only one with major injuries but it wasn’t their fault… or so she wanted to strongly believe. Details weren’t clear but that weren’t waters she wanted to test. The sun felt great in her skin as she crossed the street and ran to the gate of the park in the direction of the waterfall, it was Cass’ favorite place and she knew it because they were best friends. Even if she couldn’t remember a thing of their past together she still felt as if they knew each other since forever and it was great because she felt really comfortable, and she knew him. Aerona walked toward the spot they were supposed to be seeing each other when she received a text. Frowning she fished her phone from her bag, having troubles remembering where she had left it, and read it.

It was the first time she laughed in quite a while, Cass had always a way of messing up with her in a good way, making fun of the problems other people pitied her for and she liked that. If there was something Aerona hated was being pitied and with Cass that never happened. She didn’t even bother to reply back as she was close to where he was, after a few minutes she was looking at the back of his head sitting in a bench and she decided to give him a surprise, placing her hands on his eyes. “It’s not nice to make fun of other people memory problems, especially when it’s usually you the one who forgets the times.” She said laughing not mad at all. “How come you are early for the first time in your life?” Jumping over the bench she made herself comfortable besides him, placing her hands on her stomach and lying back enjoying the sun in her face.

WORDS 884 TAGGED CASS NOTES <3

TEMPLATE BY WE WERE INFINITE ! OF CAUTIO 2.0

[ciaran cassidy corbett]

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[classy=postingbg]Talk about being bipolar… It always took so little to make Cass happy that his mum was actually grateful for it. Cass had never been one of those complicated teenagers who hated on the world and looked for reasons to feel miserable. It sounded a bit harsh and a little cliché but it was the truth. Cass remembered his middle school and high school friends complaining about something or the other while he simply tilted his head looking like a deer on headlights and moved on to find something else to entertain himself. Perhaps it was due to his overly simple mind; Cass had never been the one to give things a deep thought after all. Or maybe it was that he never had enough reasons to be overly as or overly dramatic (unless he was joking of course) but either way, it definitely took Cass the smallest of things to find his way back to a smile. People had never really formed part of the equation. Normally it was food, art, parties, or generic attention what got Cass rolling. Not anymore though. He wanted Gareth’s attention. He wanted Anouk’s partying. He wanted Aerona’s ice cream and nothing else. Ugh, that made him sound slightly dependent right? Well… he was a happy Cass now so why give it too much of a thought? Like usual, his mind would focus on the matter when things came crashing down or when something exploded in his face. There was no reason for anything to blow up or anything, right? Cass’ childlike mind was set on a happy place and there was no reason to think of scenarios in which things had to change for some reason or the other. Sure, eventually Cass would have to do something else, Gareth would finish school, Anouk would probably get her silly ass married to Alex and Aerona… well… Cass would always have Aerona, right? Right! Five-year-old-train of thought for the win! Another, very evident side of Cass’ evolution could be seen in how much interest he put in people now. Cass could debate to this one (if he ever learned the definition of the word debate); he always put interest in what Aerona did, mostly because he unconsciously knew that by the end of summer they would go their separate ways. Not anymore though, there was no end of summer to look forward to and yet Cass still found himself being ultimately interested in his friend. Why did she leave? Why was she so sad? Cass wanted to cling to her leg and force her to answer to his several questions but that would probably be not the best of ideas. Then again, Cass was never really known for having THE best ideas. His already derailed train of thought took another jump when a pair of hands covered his eyes. Instinctively he pulled his own hands up to hold onto the wrists that were covering his sight but the smile in his face showed that he didn’t mind it at all. He recognized those little hands after all. “I don’t forget the times!” He laughed, his defensive sentence losing all of its initial intention. “I just… have other more important things to think about, and I don’t have much space in here.” He smiled at Aerona while letting go of her wrists, tapping his own temple as if showing just where exactly he didn’t have much space. Cass was always the first to recognize he wasn’t the most intelligent guy in the block. He knew he was accepted into the academy because he was damn good at painting but any decent school would’ve rejected him if they dared to make an intelligence test. He slacked off at school and got bad grades because it was better to let people think he was failing because he was slacking off, not because he was stupid. He did have an ego that needed protection every now and then~ His blue eyes followed Aerona as she took a seat next to him. Grinning content he proceeded to lean down on the bench, his head on Aerona’s lap and his arms hugging his own waist. “I wanted to see you.” He said plainly and simply because that was the only reason he had to arrive early. Turning around so he was looking up at Aerona but still resting on her lap he never let the smile drop off his face. “Did you bring me something to eat?” He asked, opening his mouth and pointing at it in a rather comical way. Leave it to Cass to be a food devouring monster. “I brought you a present~” He grinned before Aerona had the chance to answer and sat up, dragging his backpack close and pulling a small colorful box out of it. The box was closed with a rather messy bow that had clearly been tied up by Cass himself. “They’re chocolates, but I opened it and ate the coconut ones because you don’t like those.” He said simply before lying back down on her lap. “Mum sent them for you.” Cass mumbled before closing his eyes and enjoying the sun on his face. “She still has hopes that we’ll end up married and I’ll give her a thousand grandchildren~” He snorted very amused. Cass remembered his mom thinking of Aerona as a good influence for her slightly out-of-track son and wasn’t very happy when Cass mentioned Gareth as his boyfriend. Oh well, she could continue dreaming because there was no way in hell he’d let Garbear go for anything~ [/classy]	[atrb=style, vertical-align: top;][atrb=style, background: #dcdcdc;][classy=notesbg][STYLE=font: 30px courier new; letter-spacing: -1px; width: 100px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: -10px; border-bottom: 1px dashed #000000; line-height: 25px;]NOTES[/style] <333333 [STYLE=font: 30px courier new; letter-spacing: -1px; width: 100px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: -10px; border-bottom: 1px dashed #000000; line-height: 25px;]WORDS[/style] 928 [STYLE=font: 30px courier new; letter-spacing: -1px; width: 100px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: -10px; border-bottom: 1px dashed #000000; line-height: 25px;]TAGS[/style] aerona <3 [STYLE=font: 30px courier new; letter-spacing: -1px; width: 100px; text-align: center; margin-bottom: -10px; border-bottom: 1px dashed #000000; line-height: 25px;]CREDIT[/style] [STYLE=font-family: ms gothic; font-size: 12px; text-transform: uppercase;]BY jumpstart! of btn, ote and ls[/style][/classy]
[cs=2][classy=borderradius][STYLE=margin-top: -5px;]I WON'T BLACKOUT[/style][/classy]

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[aerona elen evan]

SHE COULD BE A JOAN OF ARC

It was strange to think that she had another kind of life before all of this. That she, indeed, had leaded a totally different life in the past with multiple different events and people. It was hard to think about it when you were walking down the streets of the current city you were building a new life and where you had people to care for. Aerona usually didn’t give much thought to those things, avoiding the past and everything that had to do with it was her number one ability. Going back home triggered a lot of unwanted and unpleasant stories from the past along with nightmares and memories she didn’t know she had and all of it because of Cass. Well, it wasn’t exactly because of him, it was because him coming back to her life triggering more memories in her head and also Chris popping out of nothingness to do exactly the same. It was a little sad to think that now all her life depended mostly on those persons, Cass and Chris… how depressive was that exactly? But instead of founding herself really depressed she was comfortable and happy now, as happier as someone with all her problems and being mentally treated could be, something Aerona had conveniently forget to tell Cass. The boy made her happy, there was no other way around that ad there was no reason for him to be more worried than he already was.

Leave it to Aerona to hide important information and bits about her life, like the fact she went back home because she had cut herself and wanted a stop, or the fact that doctors told her she was going to definitely keep losing her memory more often and in shorter periods until she would simply forget everything, making of her life a hell. She was still clinging to hopes, though, hopes that if she kept training her memory, if she kept learning her lines and trying to have a healthier lifestyle she would gradually slow it down and maybe even stop it at some point. “Right Cass, as if.”

[/color] Was her answer as she shook her head and watched how he made himself comfortable in her lap. She certainly didn’t want to lose all of this, to forget all this once again because having Cass back; such an important friend now had been one of the best few things that happened in her life. Her mother had pointed that once summer’s were gone she never asked or talked to Cass, that she could care less when they were apart because she had another friends, another things to do, and it was true but now it was all different. Aerona understood her mother was only concerned but she knew somehow she was safe in Cass’ hands. She smiled back at him, hers being more of an apologetically smile. “Don’t you get enough of me?”[/color] She answered laughing and closing her eyes, her face up to the sun.

Yes, she had really missed this when being back home where so many fake friends showed up at her door to tell her how happy they were of having her around for a while and how much they wanted to hang around her and catch up. At first she had tried for the sake of… old times? Or better say, for the sake of the old memories she wanted back so she could solve her peace of mind. It had been useless, they didn’t change at all and they kept with the same stupid stories and apologies when they realized she had no clue what they all were talking about most of the time. “Oh I had to bring you some food? I forgot! But I am sure that wasn’t on my list of things to do, you can perfectly well feed yourself.”[/color] She knew Cass was demanding food without previously asking her to get some food but when Cass asked her the question Aerona couldn’t help but glance at the journal she always carried around to see if it was true she forgot something more. Now she did it quite often, glancing at it and discovering she forgot the keys, to feed the puppie that was always demanding her attention and that most of the time Chris took care of, the umbrella, money or things like that. Also what she ate, where she had go that very morning or even the previous hour. It was terrifying but at some point she got used to it, to check on her journal every fifteen minutes or so just to keep it all fresh.

Her mouth popped open when Cass mentioned bringing her a present and without giving her any time to reply he placed a package on her hand. Aerona smiled and slowly opened it to see the chocolate, the smell tagging along some old forgotten memory of a kitchen and some bright light coming from a window, the echo of some voices and a flash of a face. “I don’t like coconut?”[/color] She laughed and then smiled down at him, it was so sweet of his mother to send chocolate to her… it was a pity she could not remember the woman and it was even more pity that her own mother wasn’t like that with Cass. She didn’t know why Cass’ mother wanted to get them married when judging by what Cass told her Aerona wasn’t exactly the best of the influences. “That’s really sweet of her.”[/color] She said laughing. “But I am still too young to get married and have kids and well, can you imagine our kids? They will drive us nuts, not the best of the choices for a wife here.”[/color] Indeed, or for a relationship of any kind when she kept forgetting to feed her own dog that was always around her or feeding it too much because she wasn’t sure and so on. No, she wasn’t the best choice for wives and let alone for mothers. “So what are we going to do now crazy not-husband-to-be? Up for some improvised picnic near the waterfall?”[/color]
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WORDS 1019 TAGGED CASS NOTES <3

TEMPLATE BY WE WERE INFINITE ! OF CAUTIO 2.0

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